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Attention Seeker

by Lael



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9 Reviews


Points: 6
Reviews: 9

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Fri Dec 07, 2018 3:51 am
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hermione2001 wrote a review...



This made me laugh out loud. Seeing the title I thought this would be about a person who was an attention seeker but finding out it was about one's stomach made it ten times better!!! I love your thoughts in the parenthesis it adds more character and makes the poem SUPER relatable. It is so embarrassing to have your stomach grumble when it is completely silent! LOL:):) Keep writing can't wait to hear more!!!




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14 Reviews


Points: 510
Reviews: 14

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Tue Dec 04, 2018 7:28 pm
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PoTatOe001 wrote a review...



Hey there!! Thank you for the smile you have just put on my face! I have been writing a lot of depressing things, and really needed the smile you put on my face! This piece is totally relatable to me in my life!! Thank you so so so much for sharing it!!! Also, if you have not already, I suggest my three poems for you to read and review. Hurt, Pain Pain, and FInal Places. Please be honest and tell me what you really think. Anyways, Have a great day!

potatoe out :)




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24 Reviews


Points: 2047
Reviews: 24

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Sun Dec 02, 2018 5:13 pm
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RowenaLynn says...



This is really cool! So. Relatable. 😂
Have a good day




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15 Reviews


Points: 878
Reviews: 15

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Sun Dec 02, 2018 3:47 pm
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Aniwriting9162 wrote a review...



Hi! This is really good! And really hilarious! I've reviewed 7 poems today, and all of them were really emotional/thought provoking/serious, i really needed a poem like this a lot; simple, straightforward, funny and 'feel good'. The use of onomatopoeia and brackets is really good and adds a lot to the poem, I also really love the flow of it.
Well done!
Have a good day!




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36 Reviews


Points: 187
Reviews: 36

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Sat Dec 01, 2018 11:38 pm
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AmadeusW wrote a review...



OML HAHA. This is hilarious! I love it! Can you add more to it?
I think this is the first I've seen a poem with onomatopoeias in it - excellent execution.
I love a good humor in poetry - so many poems that I read (and write) are all morbid and depressing - this one is like totally the definition of high school emotional pettiness in a humorous way! So relatable!




Lael says...


Thanks for the review! Since I wrote this on a whim because I was hungry, I don't really intend to add more to it, but who knows, maybe I'll write another one of these sometime. And I agree - a lot of poems (including a good portion of my own) are depressing, so I try to write positively when I get inspiration. Anyways, glad to see that you're already getting into reviewing!



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117 Reviews


Points: 6258
Reviews: 117

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Sat Dec 01, 2018 9:38 am
EagleFly says...



Sorry mad a miss take again




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117 Reviews


Points: 6258
Reviews: 117

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Sat Dec 01, 2018 9:35 am
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EagleFly wrote a review...



Hi there @Lael I am here to do a review on you work, okay so first I can say that this is a grate length.
I am not shore about this
the first thing is the first and the second and the 21 and 22 lines you have said the same thing twice in the line as in the line were you said, burn, burn. that is the same thing twice I do not really think that it should go like that.
okay next this I am not really shore what agony means for I have never herd it before. also I am not really shore were the person is right now. like I feel like there should be more feel and touch in evolved and more of were they are, I mean they could be in a room, or they could be in an office, or they could be in there on class room with there teachers. I can say that your riming is very good here nice work on that.
So that is all that I can say, so keep up the good work here, and if I came a cross as being a bit hard I am very sorry.

@EagleFly out to seek and kill




Lael says...


Thanks for the review! The repetition is my stylistic choice and this was my attempt at doing the perspective of my stomach (everything in my own perspective is in parentheses and italicized). Anyways, I appreciate that you took time to look over my work! :)



EagleFly says...


thank you for your time to explan this a bit




Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness
— Allen Ginsburg