Hey there, CorruptedArrow!
I like the picture painted with this story: two friends going on a camp trip. I love camping, so reading about these girls driving off into the mountains and roasting hotdogs over a fire makes me a little jealous. However, something that bothered me as I was reading this story was who these girls are. I know the narrator is Niki, I know her friend is Angie, I know they're camping, but why? What made them want to pack up their bags? Who are these girls? What do they look like? I'm assuming they're still in high school, based off Angie's comment about classmates, but I think giving us more of a backstory on who they are would benefit the story and not cause confusion.
Just looking at this, though, Niki seems to be the sensible friend while Angie is a little crazier. The story ends with that in mind - Niki's "I told you", though I don't see any early instance where she told Angie they needed honey?? Angie actually seems pretty funny, like she has the potential to be a rather amusing character. It might be fun for you to explore that, go into her photography history, too. The point where she burned herself brought some excitement into the story (ugh, but marshmallows, though... I need some).
It might be beneficial to go into more detail with the setting, as well. What's the town look like that they're driving through? What does the forest smell like? What does the fire feel like? Is Angie's burn small or big? Description makes everything fun, and I think, if used correctly, it could really spice up your story!
Thanks for sharing this, CorruptedArrow, and I hope you have a good one. If you got any questions, do let me know.
cheers!
~rosette
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