Young Writers Society

This is cool! Love it... I just wanted to comment that its awesome.
Jesus rocks!
~RowenaLynn

[~] Review - Jadefeather [~]

Hello, rosette! I often go into the poetry part of YWS and read or do the odd review. I've been seeing this poem, You Can't Take Jesus, a bit recently and I now finally decided to read it. I absolutely love that you have added Christianity into a poem. I love how you used Jesus, our Lord and Savior, in this poem.
I am personally a Christian myself, and I'm marveled that there are others out there in the world who follow the Lord. And seeing Jesus in just the name of a poem is beautiful. How about we begin the actual review, though?

I cannot tell if this is supposed to be a rhyming poem or not, but to my own guess I'd have to say it isn't supposed to be. There isn't much I can judge about the rhyming, so I'll leave it at this.

The capitalization is good: There are capitals in the places where Jesus's name is, and anywhere where 'I' is used it has been capitalized.

The grammar is rather fine, though there isn't much typing for me to criticize, which leads me to my next part.

Your poem is sadly very short. I'd have absolutely loved to have read more, as I am very pulled into this poem now that I am reviewing. Try making it longer with thoughts, details and feelings.

Your punctuation could be much better. All sentences need some sort of punctuation at the end, whether it is a question mark (?), period (.), or exclamation mark (!). It could even be a comma (,), usually only if the line or sentence continues on.

Your poem is much like a song. Perhaps try to make it more like a poem instead of something you'd sing. However, I rather like the idea and I am only typing the judgemental part of this section because this is a review.

The last part of this review that I am judging is the size of your font. It is a little intimidating, but unique as I have never seen a poem or story written in this massive size of font. I am suggesting that even though I like it, perhaps you should tone it down a little.

Thanks for writing this absolutely beautiful poem, and thank you for reading my review! I love the idea, thought and feeling so much that it has inspired me to type my own poem about Christ.
Remember: Never stop writing, and just because someone criticizes your work doesn't mean it isn't brilliant!
Keep following the Lord, rosette!
Your faithful friend,
~ Jadefeather

[ Sorry about the double review. The site glitched. ]

Hi there! I'm going to jump right into this review.
First off, I love the simplicity of this poem! It helped me feel this poem. As for your question at the end, I would put the first two lines at the end, but if you want to get rid of them, that is your decision!
As for the very end, I think that it's repeated a little to often. It kind of takes away from the meaning.
I would try something like this:
"You can't take Jesus,
You cannot take him."

I hope this helped and keep up the great work!