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E - Everyone

Eyes On You

by sophies36


Behind the curtain, Kath shook and quivered. Her entire future was relying on this moment. She had to get this right. Her purple dress sparkled but her stomach twisted.

What if something went wrong? She thought.

Her mind whirled while everything inside her tightened. Palms sweaty, she gripped the microphone and hoped it wouldn’t slip from her grasp. She tucked her brown hair behind her ear and breathed deep. Butterflied filled her stomach as her name rang out over to speaker into the auditorium. She stepped onto the dark stage, anxiously waiting for the lights to come up. Dreading the hundreds of eyes staring into her, she regripped the mike and breathed in more. As the lights came up on her, she felt like an animal in a zoo. Their brightness beat down on her like a million rays of sun. The butterflies filling her stomach tossed and turned and Kath felt sick. She froze, her eyes darting around the auditorium. She pulled the microphone up to her mouth worrying about the sound that would come out.

“Um- Hi.” A squealing noise filled the room. Kath could see people in the first row laughing.

She shriveled and felt herself turn pink in the embarresment.  She was caught. And lost. She breathed in again.

“Sorry.” She smiled an apologetic smile, “I’m Kathleen. Kath for short.” Eyes frozen on her, Kath continued, “I’m going to be singing for you.” The shows coordinator nodded from the stage wings, “Um- I’m going to sing Praying by Kesha.”

She hear whispers of doubt around the room but tried to block it out. The backing trach started playing and her part started. Suddenly, she was singing. Her surprise soon fueled her, and she let it all out. Focusing on one note to the next, she forgot about the hundred of eyes. The further into the song, the easier it got. As she reached the hardest part in the song, she could feel the audience leaning in the hear her sing. Without trouble, her voice flew to the high note and her stomach unknotted, letting her butterflies escape.

As the music faded out, the applause rang through her brain. She bowed beaming brighter than the lights and felt her world fade away. Kath could feel excitement and pride flooding through her. For the first time in 5 years, she had sang in front of people. But this time, it wouldn’t be her last.


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Points: 34
Reviews: 1

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Sat Nov 10, 2018 11:38 pm
Sally37Z says...



It was a really good story. The only thing were spelling but I can’t complain about tha cos I’m not the best ether. I want More of that I just think you can put more to the story




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Points: 34
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Fri Nov 09, 2018 11:53 pm
Sally37Z says...



It was a really good story. The only thing were spelling but I can’t complain about tha cos I’m not the best ether. I want More of that I just think you can put more to the story. And it had really good description.




sophies36 says...


I am not the best at spelling but thank you!



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27 Reviews


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Fri Nov 09, 2018 10:41 pm
Thecakesatruth wrote a review...



Wow! This story literally made me feel anxious XD. I think it was really good, there was a few spelling mistakes, but nothing to take away from the actual story. Also, your really good at describing settings and such subtlety (Unlike me Ahahaha!) The only thing I have to say is opinion based, I just want something totally unexpected or random to happen in the story. I mean, happily ever afters are cool and all, but I just want it to be a little more “unexpected” if that makes sense. Like you could make the wrong song play, or the lights black out, or her voice could crack or something. I’m sorry if that doesn’t make sense XD I just like excitement. I’m not saying your story was boring to read though, because it was still a cool story to read, because it was relateable. You described the anxious feeling so well, and the setting, even the dialogue was described well! So overall this is a great story and you should definitely be proud that you made it. Well anyways that’s all I have to say, nice writing!




sophies36 says...


Thank you! I was thinking of adding in an element at the end of a part twoish thing about her bullies but I wasn't sure?





I think that could be cool



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12 Reviews


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Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:50 pm
bigsisfarmer wrote a review...



Wow! This it great! I'm going to kinda give my reviews in order in which I read them.

The first paragraph really grabs my attention and encourages me to keep reading. This is often extremely hard for writers, so great job on that!

I especially applaud your talent in writing the third paragraph. Not many writer can describe this feeling of anxiety.

"As the lights came up on her, she felt like an animal in a zoo. The lights beat down on her like a million rays of sun." Maybe take out the "as the lights came up on her?" It's great either way, but it would help to clear a little bit of confusion up.

"Kath could see people in the first rose laughing." Maybe change rose to rows. It's just a simple typo and you easily tell what is going on, I just wanted to tell you.

"She shriveled and felt herself die but stay standing." Maybe clarify this sentence a little more? It is kinda difficult to understand.

Other than that, I really loved this short story! Keep up the great work!




sophies36 says...


Thank you! it being in chronological order really helps!



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Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:18 pm
RowenaLynn wrote a review...



Hey, this is an cool short story. It's relatable to most people and that is something that can really make stories great.
I think that in the part "As the lights came up on her" you could use some different wording to make it sound a little better... or you could maybe actually take out that sentence all together because the next sentence "The lights beat down on her like a million rays of sun." also adds to that part of what Kath is feeling about the lights.The wording could just be fixed up a little in that part.
Your grammar and spelling is really good throughout and it is really easy to read, which I really appreciate. One spot where it could be cleaned up a bit is "For the first time in 5 years. She had sang in front of people." For effect you could keep these separate, but I think you could use the first sentence as a phrase instead and it would be very similar. I also think that "had sang" could be shortened to "sang".
"Kath could see people in the first rose laughing." "rose" to row, but that's just a small typo. Other than that, this is a cool little story that really connects to me. Thank you for writing!




sophies36 says...


Thank you! The little suggestions will definitely make the story better!




Doors are for people with no imagination.
— Skulduggery Pleasant