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by Eros

The red ball of fire,

Melted into the purple horizon,

And emerged from the skyline,

Somewhere overseas, on the other side.


The lights went off in the blink of an eye,

I searched for the candles kept in the shelf,

Guided by the brightness of torch,

Of my phone's dark reflecting screen.


I shivered with cold,

The snowflakes floated down,

And settled slowly on the heap of ice,

On soil sprinkled with the toppings of snow.


The flame was quivering in front of me,

The whole room was covered with shadows,

Small and big, tall and short,

Of artistic shapes draped in black.


The harmless shadows

Of the objects so sharp;

The blunt shadow of the knife so pointed,

Created on the wall contradicting its traits.


The silent shadow of the noisy radio,

Doesn't see the filthiness of the broken radio;

Casted on the wall is the shadow,

Irrespective of the object being new or old.


Blind to dirt, dust and negativity,

The shadow like a clay is fictile;

The projected shadow easily adjusts itself,

With varying angles and directions of light.


Can I be like the shadow?

Adjusting myself in relation to those,

Varying angles of gloom and bloom in life,

Silent and blind to the flaws of people.


Can I be like the shadow?

Sometimes growing taller,

Boosting my self confidence,

Overcoming my inner fear.


Can I be like the shadow?

Sometimes growing shorter, 

Curbing my arrogance and pride,

Not letting it to conquer myself.


A/N : *Phew. It was a difficult topic... Required a lots of hard work to write something on it. Perhaps you might feel as if the word shadow is repeated toooo many times, but I felt the need to use that word again and again. If you have any suggestions to replace the word, please do suggest... Thanks for reading the poem! 

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Points: 213
Reviews: 2

Mon Nov 12, 2018 2:30 pm
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Wolfy931 wrote a review...

This is great but you could use other words other than shadow. Maybe like cover or shade, there are plenty others. I feel like a few words are a little necessary but i get the feeling you were trying to convey. I really like the chemistry and flow of your poem it is an overall artistic piece, and it was really a pleasure to read. Thank you for writing, keep making amazing pieces like this one. The errors I saw may not really change the flow of you piece but I feel it would put more creativity into the structure of the piece. Thank you for publishing this astounding work.

Eros says...

thank you for the review, wolfy!!

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58 Reviews

Points: 1414
Reviews: 58

Sat Nov 10, 2018 8:52 am
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CardDragon says...

If you are looking for better things to use instead darkness of a shadow; use alternate words.
Or phrases or even sentences that describe the shadow or the instance of the shadow and how it conveys darkness, fear or some other substance.

Eros says...

Yeah, that's a good idea... Thank you so much for the commenting! I will definitely add this thing and edit it a little more bit ... D

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159 Reviews

Points: 4304
Reviews: 159

Thu Nov 08, 2018 6:09 pm
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FireSpyGirl wrote a review...

This is an amazing poem! I loved every word, verse, and sentence. :D. A few of the sentences to me had a few extra words, but that may just be me.

This last sentence: "Not letting it to conquer myself."

I would just get rid of the word "To."

It's a little awkward and doesn't fit in with the rest of the sentence.

I'm sorry that I don't have much else to say and I'm sorry that this isn't a great review!

Eros says...

Thank you so much, Firerose for reading the poem and writing such a sweet review for the poem ... Your words encourage me to write more and your words mean a lot to me ... %uD83D%uDE01

You can cut all the flowers, but you cannot stop Spring from coming.
— Pablo Neruda