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The Hero's Brother (7.2)

by mellifera

The Crossroads wasn’t truly a village. It had only a few scattered buildings behind the spiny wall the warded off intruders or bandits. Or, so it was meant for. Carter had few doubts that bandits and the like came in anyway.

Despite being in the middle of a meadow, the Crossroads itself was a dusty outpost. The passersby kicked up plumes of pale clouds as they walked along the crudely crafted streets.

Alongside the streets were mostly caravans, with hastily set up stands for shopping convenience. Others were more carefully, well set-up, with bright colours and shades to block out the harsh rays of sun that beat down on the earth.

They walked into the outpost on horseback, but Gideon called for them to dismount after they had gotten in. It wasn’t as if they could shop on the horses, after all.

There were posts to tie them up and leave them, but Carter didn’t feel inclined to let them go. He was saved from having to express this when Isha said it was best they hold onto them if they wanted the horses to remain theirs.

“We can split up,” Isha suggested as they started coming up to a short, squat, and dirty looking tavern. One of the windows was broken and had been covered by some kind of sheet. “Get everything we each need. Carter and Whisper, you both need supplies, from scratch.” She eyed the clothes they had been wearing since yesterday. Carter ducked behind Reese under her scrutiny, but Whisper seemed unconcerned.

“And if trouble comes?” Whisper asked. They looked the picture of poised and unmoving where they stood tall, with Achille on their heel. “Would it not be best that we were together, so we didn’t get split up in the confusion?” There was a hard edge to Whisper’s voice, implying something more that was lost on Carter.

He played with the reins in his hands as Gideon and Isha shared a look. He glanced away, worried he might be called to attention if he was to meet Gideon or Isha’s gazes.

As they passed the tavern, Carter noticed a hooded figure propped against the wall of the tavern. He couldn’t make out their face, a beggar perhaps, given their ragged state. They weren’t wearing shoes either, but rather, wraps that looked like worn bandages over their feet.

The hooded figure turned, and Carter flinched, spinning away so as not to be caught staring. It wasn’t as if he didn’t see beggars and the homeless in Midvale, but he found it was best not to be caught looking at them. Not unless he wanted confrontation.

It made him sick. He knew that, had it not been for Bazzoli, he would be in that place too. If he wouldn’t have died already.

“It would be faster to split up,” Gideon finally replied, glancing sideways at Carter and meeting his eyes only for a second before turning back to Whisper behind him and Villa. “The only thing we have on our side right now is time- and the Fire Forgers will be quick to cut that rope.”

“It would be faster if something goes wrong to leave behind the supposed extra weight, you mean,” Whisper pointed out dryly. Koshar, where he was perched on Achille’s saddle and had been cleaning himself, was now scanning the area through narrowed amber eyes.

Gideon opened his mouth to respond but shut his mouth and scowled instead. Maybe he thought if he looked sour enough, he could remove the truth from Whisper’s words.

“Then we all go together,” Isha cut in, glancing back from where she walked next to Gideon. “It’ll take longer the more we squabble about it.” She twisted back to look at where Carter trailed just behind Whisper, pale hair not captured by her bun twirling around her face.

Whisper nodded, contented, while Gideon made a disgusted noise from the back of his throat and turned back around to face forward, gripping Villa’s reins tight enough to make his knuckles white.

As he moved, Carter could see his shirt pull down, and the harsh black brand marks snaking up from underneath it and running up his neck like a dark, angry snake.

“It’s an identification mark.”

Carter jerked his head to see Isha slowing Fabella down – hard as it was as the mare had seemingly boundless spunk and energy – to fall into step with him and Whisper. He blinked at her, brow crinkling.

Isha nodded towards Gideon. “I’ve seen you staring at the brands. Don’t worry, kitten, I’m not shining the spotlight on you.” She tipped her head towards him, watching him curiously. “They’re identification marks. I suppose you could say they’re like the brands that horses get on their rumps. They’re for what coterie you’re affiliated with, and sometimes something a little fancier like ranking.”

He frowned, stomach swirling. He’d always hated the people who branded their horses like they were some sort of object that needed to be claimed. Bazzoli had thankfully never done that. But there were a few horses he’d bought that had them.

“Why would they do that?” Winnie asked. Their brows were dipped heavily when Carter glanced over at them.

Reese snuffed behind Carter, nuzzling his hair gently. He reached up idly to brush her nose, absent, but grateful she could sense the way his chest was knotting. It didn’t help the Crossroads was bursting with activity, and Carter could still hear shouts coming from the tavern behind them. It’s midday, what are they doing?

“Well, I’m sure each coterie could tell you a different story for how it happened, but it really boils down to control. It’s a reminder that, regardless of how you come into any one of the coteries, you’re there for life. However long or short that may be,” Isha explained. “Either way, it’s a form of initiation too. If you can’t handle the pain of the brand, you’re a weak link. They won’t suffer weak links.”

Carter chewed on the inside of his mouth. His nose itched from all the dust being kicked up, and his stomach was rolling uncomfortably from the branding. He glanced back over to wear Gideon was walking – or rather, clomping – ahead of them.

“Are they- um. Are they all as big as- as Gideon’s?” Carter asked, tracing the lines of the brand on Gideon’s neck. Villa tugged on the reins, tossing her head back, and Gideon tugged her back. Villa then, conveniently, stepped on his foot.

“No,” Isha said, something softer in her tone. He glanced at her to find her watching Gideon as well. “No, they’re not. But Corin- That’s Von Brandt, the leader of the Fire Forger. He’s, for lack of better word, possessive. He wanted everyone to know that Gideon and I were his.” She lifted her right wrist, where Carter had noticed she wore a thick band of leather. A...bracer? “Mine’s obvious when I’m not hiding it. Guess he didn’t think of that when he did it. Gideon! Stop for a moment so we can actually get what we need.”

From where he had been shoving Villa off his foot, Gideon paused and glanced back at Isha with a broody scowl. Isha smirked, catlike and unconcerned for him.

“You should get a scarf or something,” she said when she approached him. “You don’t want to be announcing who you’ve gotten into bed with to the whole world. The authorities won’t be happy with it.”

Surprisingly, Gideon’s cheeks dusted with a light coat of pink. “I haven’t gotten into bed with anyone,” he growled. Then he turned red, glared at Carter as if this was somehow his fault, and gave Villa another push for good measure. She smacked him with her snout.

Isha snorted and gave Fabella a pat on the neck. “That’s nobody’s fault but your own.” She gave Carter a glance and winked.

Carter felt his own face heat up, and suddenly felt the wrath of the sun’s glare above. He really wished he had decided on something cooler yesterday. The night hadn’t even been cold enough to warrant his desire of wearing long sleeves as he was now.

“Come on,” Isha laughed, gently pulling Fabella forward. “Let’s get started before we become the dust in the road.”

* * *

It was as Whisper was negotiating for their rations when Isha, from where she had been leaning against a pole just outside the tent holding Fabella, suddenly stiffened. She walked with Fabella on the side closer to the roads and all the people milling about and stopped beside Gideon. She murmured something to him. The reaction was immediate- Gideon’s eyes snapped up and started scanning the crowd before he narrowed them.

Carter tried to follow his gaze, but then Winnie said, “Carter,” quietly beside him, having moved from the counter to where he stood outside with Reese and Achille, and he turned to them. “Here,” they said, handing him a canvas bag filled with the food. “Can Reese carry it in her saddlebags?”

He nodded and took the bags. Whisper took Achille’s reins back as Carter moved to Reese’s flank and started fitting the bag into Reese’s saddlebags they had also just purchased.

As he was stashing away the rations, a couple of children ran past in the street and Fabella suddenly jerked her head up and started prancing. She made puffing noises, her eyes wide and uneasy.

Achille reacted too, backing up abruptly and running into one of the poles. It collapsed and with it, the awning to the food stand. As the canvas came down, Achille darted forward. Koshar had jumped off sometime during the panic, and Whisper was doing all they could to hold onto Achille and calm him down.

Thankfully Reese hadn’t panicked and Villa was only pinning her eyes and shifting on her hooves. Isha was desperately trying to calm Fabella but the mare was hopping up. Not quite a rear but it was unsettling in itself.

Carter threw Reese’s reins over her head and circled over to Isha. “Let go and take Reese!” he told her, heart thumping against his chest. Isha dropped Fabella’s reins and scrambled backwards as Carter grabbed them before the mare could step on him. “Fabella it’s all right, easy-easy girl. Easy pony, it was- it was only some children.”

The mare continued throwing her head but stopped hopping. She watched Carter nervously, snorting with nostrils flaring as she panted.

Across the street, a shout rang out and Carter heard Gideon curse behind him. He felt a tightness clamp around his chest. He wanted to see what was going on but Fabella still needed reassurance. He didn’t even know if Whisper and Achille were okay.

“We have to go!” Gideon shouted behind him. Carter reached out to touch Fabella’s cheek. She leaned into his touch and let out a loud snort, but her big brown eyes were no longer wild and upset.

The crowd had parted around them, leaving a wide-open space in the street where the horses had panicked. Carter shifted himself around, keeping his hands on Fabella and her reins, and glanced at Gideon. Then, following his gaze, he saw a group of people dressed in tight, red leather clothing. They were also all holding some kind of weapon and were running straight at them.

His heart crawled up his throat as he looked back at Gideon and met his gaze. “It’s the Fire Forgers,” he snapped, before turning to put his foot in Villa’s stirrup and hoisting himself up. “We’re out of time.”

Carter shushed Fabella as she started pawing, absorbing the anxious energy in the air. “Get on- Isha on Reese,” he gasped out, watching as Gideon pulled out a bow that Carter hadn’t noticed was attached to the back of Villa’s saddle. He pulled an arrow out from a quiver behind him and notched it.

He didn’t turn to see if it found it’s target after Gideon released it. The cry of pain was telling enough, and Carter didn’t have the stomach for anything more.

Without turning to see if Isha was on Reese, he put Fabella’s reins over her head. He heard hoofbeats behind him and wasn’t sure who it was. He started to hold onto the saddle, already struggling to do just that as Fabella danced around, when someone grabbed his arm.

He yelped and jerked backwards. Turning, he found one of the people in the tight red leather sneering beside him. “They brought a squealing pig with them? Softies,” he said, and without warning, slashed at Carter with a grotesquely curved knife. It was only instinct that had him ducking away.

Fabella tugged on him, hopping forward at the sudden extra weight. Carter held onto her saddle and yanked his arm away from the man, as he swiped again with his knife.

The man lunged forward again, but midway through the swing, Carter heard something whistle next to his ear and then there was an arrow protruding form the man’s shoulder. He growled but didn’t falter in his advance. And Carter didn’t react fast enough.

He didn’t cry out as the blade cut through his shirt and bit into his collarbone and the front of his shoulder. He didn’t feel it at first, only noticed as another arrow flew past him. He glanced up and saw the arrow, sticking out of the man’s ear. He almost tripped as he stumbled backwards, his stomach lurching, and was caught only by falling back into Fabella.

Twisting to look away as the man collapsed to the ground, he saw Gideon turning Villa back towards the street behind him. Gideon gave him a look before he turned back to the street.

He could hear the clanging of metals and hoofbeats thundering across the street. He wondered if Whisper had ever been able to get Achille under control again, or where they were.

Dust was clouding around them and he saw as Gideon had an arrow notched but was struggling to aim it. Carter couldn’t see over Fabella and she was still freaking out. He could hear screams and shouts as the market descended into chaos.

“Ea-easy girl!” he called to her, trying to keep his voice level and failing to do so. He grabbed onto her saddle again and this time, pulled himself up right onto her back without waiting to be attacked again.

He could make out the figures of people fighting and at least two horses, one dark and one pale, through the thick dust cloud that had been kicked up from the horses and fighting.

One of the horses broke away from the fighting and ran towards Carter and Fabella. Still hopping, he gripped the reins in an iron grip and kept his legs wrapped around her, ready to ask her to take off if it was one of the coterie members.

But Isha was the one who ran up beside him and pulled Reese to a halt beside Fabella. “C’mon, Whisper’s on Achille. We have to get away,” she urged him, pulling Reese to face the road. Carter turned Fabella towards her. He hardly gave Fabella a nudge before she was racing after Reese. He glanced back and saw Gideon and Villa just behind them.

He could make out the dark coat of Achille ahead of them as they ran through the streets. Most everyone had already cleared out after the fighting had started, but those left scattered as they pasted. Dust plumed behind them and Carter could only hope the coterie was blinded enough that they couldn’t follow.

But then he heard shouting and Villa squealed behind him. Whirling in his saddle, he watched as Gideon slid sideways off of Villa, as she turned, trying to compensate for the balance.

“Gideon!” Isha cried ahead of them, yanking back of Reese’s reins to turn and help him. Carter pulled back Fabella and she only tugged on her reins, hardly slowing her pace.

“GO!” Gideon shouted, his voice clearly straining. “Isha, go! Take them away!”

Carter met Isha’s gaze. Her face was contorted, her brows drawn, and her mouth parted. As he started passing, he heard her swear profusely and then spurred Reese on after them. He heard the whistle of arrows sailing past them.

The gates were ajar to let a caravan in. Riding in single-file, with Achille leading them and Reese taking up the rear, they cantered past the startled guards and merchants.

And so, they left the Crossroads behind, a plume of dust in their trail, the sun had faded into the horizon. A blanket of shadows was starting to fall over the plains as they ran towards the forest.

But as such, leaving their pursuers behind had also resulted in leaving behind one of their own. Carter gripped onto Fabella as they ran but glanced back as if expecting to see Gideon catching up to them on Villa. He wasn’t.

I hope he’s okay.

word count: 2,828

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Wed Sep 11, 2019 8:10 pm
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Querencia wrote a review...

Hi mellifera!

There were posts to tie them up and leave them, but Carter didn’t feel inclined to let them go. He was saved from having to express this when Isha said it was best they hold onto them if they wanted the horses to remain theirs.

Oh my gosh, this made me think that there need to be bike locks for horses. XD (seriously though, what would you do?)

Reese snuffed behind Carter, nuzzling his hair gently. He reached up idly to brush her nose, absent, but grateful she could sense the way his chest was knotting. It didn’t help the Crossroads was bursting with activity, and Carter could still hear shouts coming from the tavern behind them. It’s midday, what are they doing?

I forgot until now Carter's fear of crowds--It seems like he's doing a bit better here? Since he freaks out when he's in Midvale, his own home town, it seems like the Crossroads would be even scarier for him, so I don't know if he's just caught up in the moment and has forgotten his own fear, or if he's actually doing a bit better.

When they're talking about the brands--which is very interesting, by the way!--I kept waiting for Carter to think about Shiloh and maybe wonder if she had brands. I was certainly wondering that! I think it might be interesting to see what he thinks about his sister being in with these people, now that he's starting to gather more characteristics about the coterie and its leader.

Then, following his gaze, he saw a group of people dressed in tight, red leather clothing. They were also all holding some kind of weapon and were running straight at them.

That's a... very conspicuous group! Would they want to try to be a little low-key in order to avoid detection by Isha and Gideon, or is it because they're a part of the coterie that they think they can be really bold about it! (and if this is the number coming after Isha and Gideon, how many more are after Shiloh...? yikes) Does Carter have any idea what kinds of weapon they have, or are they all different? It feels a little vague.

And Carter didn’t react fast enough.


Wow! This was an amazing chapter. :) There was such a good feeling of tension when Isha saw something and told Gideon, then the children ran by and the horses spooked--I got pulled into the story very quickly, especially when the fighting broke out. And Carter got hurt, and I was so worried for him! And Gideon because he stayed behind. So great job setting this dramatic atmosphere and making me really emotionally involved in the story and characters. This was really awesome! And I hope Carter gets his wound cleaned and everything...


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Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:05 pm
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JabberHut wrote a review...

I love how you set up the Crossroads here. I know it's not a new chapter and is actually halfway through, but it's such a nice start to picturing the Crossroads and you do it so well. I'm in love!

Hahahahaha I like how Whisper keeps one-upping these two. Like, they're not dumb. In fact, they're much wiser than your typical stablehand. It's so intriguing and it's really throwing both Gideon and Isha off. It's so fun to watch!



I love this moment where Carter calms Fabella down. He takes initiative without really thinking and handles the situation and it is BEAUTIFUL. It's another ray of hope that this main character does have the potential to be an admirable protagonist!

Tight red clothing. I have a hard time NOT picturing this clothing as leather catsuits. XD First the officers in Midvale, now the Fire Forgers. I HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME.




I'm actually impressed Isha knows the name of Whisper's horse. I can't remember if Carter properly introduced the horses and their names to Isha (she wasn't around when he gathered them, only Gideon), but even if he did, she must be really good with names.


I feel like they were making a big deal about getting supplies only for it to be glossed over by a single Whisper purchase. Like they had just arrived, made a purchase, and got run out of town. I don't thing I want the pace to slow down at all, but it seemed rather abrupt or quick that the fighting happened. I like that it started out with the innocent scene of children running around, and it was the horse commotion that drew out the coterie. I think that was definitely well done.

I have NOTHING ELSE TO ADD THOUGH. I am just writhing and squirming and HOPING GIDEON COMES BACK. 'CAUSE I LIKE HIM. I want him around?? He is a beautiful man and I need him in my life ????? HE WAS SO ADORABLE THIS CHAPTER. <3 <3 <3

I might have a crush on him.

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Mon Nov 05, 2018 4:24 am
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Messenger wrote a review...

Hey, here for an irregular Sunday night review because for once in my life I did all of my homework on time most of it anyways

I don't have a lot of specific quotes or anything to point out today. However, I do have some notes that's I think would be well-deserving of some talk regarding this chapter.

1. Can I just say that for the most part, I think your dialogue is terrific? It feels natural, it flows well, and it's not info-dumpy. When I read it, it comes across as how a real conversation might go, and you do a good job of not going overboard with the "He shrieked" "she bellowed" "they questioned" etc after every quote. The good old "said" truly does work quite well. I also feel that there are some nice differences from character to character. Gideon is pretty blunt, and obviously, Carter is quite stuttering most of the time. Also, I like your blend of more medieval, or older writing style, bit with a nice modern twist, which blends into an easy-to-read hybrid that doesn't feel out of place, but neither does it feel like an ancient manuscript. That is a balance that can be hard, but I think is necessary, to have in more historical-set time periods, even if this is a fantasy world. On that note, you use the phrase "freaking out" when talking about Fabella, and I thought that it stuck out as a bit out of style for your writing.

2. Your action is pretty good. I'm big into action, and so I always really start to pay attention. I thought that for the most part, you did a good job here, considering you have a lot of moving parts (Carter and Fabella, then Gideon and the fire-forgers, Isha, Whisper, Kosha) and it blended well. You didn't take so much time setting the scene that it lost its tension, but you also didn't explain it so vaguely that we were completely lost in what was going on. That being said, I would've like a little bit more explanation on the Fire Forgers entrance. I did like that you kept this very much from Carter's on-the-ground-behind-the-horse POV, and I think it adds some nice chaos to the fight, but I would have appreciated just a little bit more of what the Fire Forgers look like. (as a side note, you have mentioned several times Carter's lack of weapons. To me, in the setting that you have, it seems rather odd for him to not be familiar with weapons. I mean sure, maybe he doesn't personally use them, but he didn't even really know how to describe Gideon's daggers earlier. It's not a huge problem, It just struck me as kind of odd)

3. Surprise! People in trouble! I really didn't expect the fight to break out. I didn't feel the tension come much at all. Obviously, we see the hooded guy, but I was not expecting such a rush at the end. And Carter getting stabbed? Whoa. I can't believe Gideon got left behind. I was not expecting that all. I swear though IF YOU KILL HIM!!!! I will be very mad and sad. And the fact that Carter feels bad for him was a great touch, and a good way to end the chapter.


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Fri Oct 19, 2018 5:40 am
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soundofmind wrote a review...

AYYY I'm the first here to review! Let's get this party STAR-TED!

He was saved from having to express this when Isha said it was best they hold onto them if they wanted the horses to remain theirs.

OKAY SO THIS!!! HECKING THIS LOL I always think of this like, back in the old days when people just tied their horses outside buildings, did they have people to watch them?? I feel like stealing would be so easy. THIS IS A REAL CONCERN. YES. GOOD.

with Achille on their heel.

....( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I see what you did there BA DUM tSH

But Corin- That’s Von Brandt, the leader of the Fire Forger. He’s, for lack of better word, possessive. He wanted everyone to know that Gideon and I were his.

THIS IS REALLY SAD... and messed up, but it's really interesting. I'm glad that we're finally getting some names dropped. So are the Fire Forgers a coterie then? That's a name of one? If so, then wouldn't Shiloh have a brand as well? Is hers just easier to hide from her brother??? Would Carter ever have noticed it?

“I haven’t gotten into bed with anyone,” he growled. Then he turned red, glared at Carter as if this was somehow his fault,


. Then, following his gaze, he saw a group of people dressed in tight, red leather clothing.

Okay so I know leather is pretty standard... and looks cool... but I'm kind of just like... I thought it was super hot. LOL. I JUST FEEL LIKE THEY GOTTA BE SWEATING BUCKETS. But I guess that's fine. They are the bad guys. LET THEM SWEAT.

He didn’t cry out as the blade cut through his shirt and bit into his collarbone and the front of his shoulder.

WAIT WAIT. WAIT. Did Carter get hit with an arrow??? One of the bad guys's arrows? But the other guy got hit with an arrow? IDK if I'm just tired and that's why I'm confused by this? I think what confused me is that it sounds like this is from Carter's POV at this point, like him describing his pain, because "he" is used. I wonder if it'd be clearer if you just put "the man" instead of "he" at the beginning? That is, if Carter didn't get shot. Which.... it doesn't sound like he did. I feel like there'd be a lot more freaking out??? Probably????

I hope he’s okay.


*breathes in*

Okay. Okay so. THIS WAS VERY ACTION PACKED IN THE LATTER HALF, and I liked it! Apart from the one spot I pointed out, it was pretty easy to follow, and I mean, I'm not pro at writing action, but it felt like a good pace. You let things happen quickly and simply, not over-explaining stuff or letting Carter think too much about what was going on. It felt chaotic, but not super confusing apart from the one bit.

I'm ... still fresh after reading this and I am CONCERNED FOR GIDEON !! >:( But it's exciting, and I'm glad they finally ran into the coterie we kept hearing so much about in bits and pieces.

I think the end felt good, but the "I hope he's okay," though WONDERFUL, felt just a little... sudden? My brain was like ALL OF THIS JUST HAPPENEd... I need time to BREATHE JUST A LITTLE LONGER BEFORE IT'S OVER. So idk if there's anything more, even just like a thought before that? That you could put? That's legit like only a suggestion based on preference though so feel free to ignore.

I think that's uh, all I have to say. I really enjoyed this chapter and now I am STRESSED FOR THEM. I hope you have a nice time of day or night <3 And as usual I'm always free for questions or convo!

“Such nonsense!" declared Dr Greysteel. "Whoever heard of cats doing anything useful!" "Except for staring at one in a supercilious manner," said Strange. "That has a sort of moral usefulness, I suppose, in making one feel uncomfortable and encouraging sober reflection upon one's imperfections.”
— Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell