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In both countries, the training is quite high-level. Up to 12 years old, children should have easy lessons, as they should have a lot of time to rest. After the age of 12, children should begin to learn fruitfully, as they will soon enter adulthood, for which they must prepare. If it is difficult for children to learn, then there are additional courses. When my child was in the 10th grade, it was difficult for him to understand mathematics. I hired a tutor for him. Now my son is studying to become an economist. He was able to find the university using https://www.listsofscholarships.com/sch ... inorities/.

Education is the backbone for country development.

Usually most developed countries have a better education system than any developing countries.

In this essay, I will compare the education system of both countries, Australia and Indonesia.

There are several ways that can be applied in the comparisons.

To make it simple, the comparative analysis is only done based on the age, starting from the kindergarten level up to the higher education level. Some generalizations even though have been minimized, are inevitable.

The children activities in the Australian kindergarten (3 - 5 year old) are mostly playing, dancing, singing, and other similar ones.

The kids are encouraged to speak in public and also introduced to several basic important things such as safety and sanitation.

As a result, it is normal that kindergarten kids in Indonesia are able to read and do some basic math.

At elementary schools, the Australia system is considered more relax than Indonesia's.

It is normal to watch an Indonesian 8-year-old kid cramming in [FF0000]the[/color] room to study math, ! natural science, such as Geography, and social science like History and Religion, while ! Australia counterpart is playing music instruments or sport. When Australia system develops almost 9 types of human intelligence is the main focus for Indonesian kids. Also, Indonesian kids are trained to memorized some scientific facts and figures in their textbooks, meaning less time for playing.

The similar differences can be also observed at the secondary level. The high school students in Indonesia often study Physics, Math, and Chemistry at the standard of first year university level. They often need additional off-school courses in order to catch up. One also could argue that the Australian education lacks of dicipline. However, when comparing at the higher education level in both countries, the Indonesian standard is significantly falling behind the Australian's, perhaps due to lacks of funding and resources.

In general, the Indonesian system is mainly focusing on a few types of intelligence, such as logical whereas the diversity is a lot better in Australia. That is clear why it is more difficult to find great artists or athletes among 230 million populations in Indonesia than in only 20 million Australians. In addition, the Indonesian system is still mostly based on "Guru" style, the system that has been abandoned in most developed countries that prefer Socratic style of teaching.

Hi, Cyberforces63 here for a slight review

I think your ideas are very interesting, this is the first time ever I read an analysis of comparing the education system of both countries. But I think you should pay more attention when making a clarity of your logical structure of the essay so the readers could understand what are you trying to express.

Also, there's a few grammatical errors and spellings....somewhat I found some lines of reasoning makes me even hard to follow up. So, I think next time you may want to work up a little from mistakes and keep writing and improving. Remember, keep practising!

Warm regards,

Cyberforces63

Hello, I'm Relaxistence88, I would like to give a review.

I think this is the first time ever I've seen and read an essay comparing the education systems in countries. I would say this is a greatest piece you've made so far! This is an interesting essay, which could just use a little tightening up in terms of when to fill in a bit more detail, and when to pare back. There's a few grammatical errors and spellings....also I found some lines of reasoning makes me even hard to follow up. So, I think next time you should be more careful and cautious when writing an essay. THE KEY is KEEP PRACTISING! STUDY, STUDY AND STUDY!

And congratulations for being mentioned in the Literary Spotlight! I hope you enjoy your time using YWS! Don't stop writing, keep improving and stay inspired! I'm cheering for you!

Warm Regards,

Relaxistence88

What a great essay! Wort to read!

I've never read a piece comparing the education systems in countries as different as Indonesia and Australia before, so this was very interesting! I think your separation of the comparison into different stages of school is a good idea, but in general your sentence construction makes some of the details and lines of reasoning a little hard to follow.

If it would be helpful, I have a few suggestions by paragraph:


"Education is the backbone for country development. . . "

In terms of logical flow, it is a little unclear why you chose Australia and Indonesia specifically. Since your second sentence compares developed vs. less-developed countries, you may want to say that you chose Australia and Indonesia because you wanted to discuss the differences between countries that fit this comparison. Your third sentence disrupts the flow and distracts the reader from your main point, so you may want to take it out. I was also a little confused as to what your last sentence meant. Maybe you could write, "Generalizations are inevitable but have been minimized." or "Generalizations have been minimized but are inevitable."


“The children activities in the Australian kindergarten . . .”

I like being able to see the comparison between the two countries’ educational systems, but you jump around a lot when describing the different types of education, and it becomes a little hard to follow. You may want to split up the paragraph a little bit more or add a concluding sentence that concisely summarizes the differences.
The sentence “When Australia system develops almost 9 types of human intelligence is the main focus for Indonesian kids” is a little confusing and I’m not quite sure what you meant to say. Also, since you mention the 9 types of intelligence later in the essay as well, it would be helpful to describe what these 9 types are just in case the reader is not familiar with them.


“The similar differences can be also observed . . .”


Generally in this paragraph I wasn’t really sure what the main idea was since you start with academics and then talk about discipline. It is a little unclear in the last sentence whether the Indonesian standard is behind the Australian standard regarding academics or methods of discipline.

You should include more about Australia’s secondary school curriculum and compare it to the Indonesian curriculum in order to give some context for the last sentence. Perhaps you can add another paragraph discussing discipline since this topic doesn’t seem so relevant for this paragraph.

“In general, the Indonesian system is mainly focusing . . .
In conclusion, depends on what . . .”

I think these paragraph can be combined under your “In conclusion. . .” paragraph. The wording of the sentence “That is clear why it is more difficult to find great artists or athletes among. . .” is a little awkward and your meaning isn’t very clear. You may want to expand on the “Guru” style of teaching.

Also, since this is a conclusion, you want to recap your essay’s themes more clearly. In general, I think readers should be able to read your conclusion paragraph and understand the gist of the essay. Your conclusion should include the main things you want your readers to remember after reading your essay.

Conclusions could also include further expansion on your themes. For example, you could include more information about why differences in Indonesian and Australian educations arise from a cultural or historical standpoint.



Overall, I think your ideas are very interesting, but you may want to work on clarity when expressing your thoughts so that readers may better understand the logical structure of your argument.

Good job, and I look forward to reading more of your work!