Young Writers Society

Hi @TheLeakyPen, @Lives4Christ24 is here for yet another review.
I hope I don't offend anyone with my reviews,my only intent is to edify and encourage other writers through constructive criticism.
I really like your poem, it is beautiful, very pretty. I had a lot of feeling and I love how you keep coming back to

like every other girl

Hey there!!

Your poem has beautifully portrayed the picture of betrayal. Especially, the line "Like every other girl" grasps the theme of the poem.

The words were of good flow. I liked the way you've structured it.

The pain when betrayed was felt through the tone of the speaker here.

These are the lines, particularly, the backbone of the lament in the poem

"I believed

Your lies

Like every other girl

__________________

I thought

You loved me

Like every other girl"

The topic of the poem was relatable to the content, you have much potential in delivering the feel and message in few lines. Keep up the knack!!

The highlight to the poem is this line,

"But I

Was betrayed

Like every other girl"

Thanks for sharing this poem. I liked it much.

Keep up the awesome writing.

Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.

That having been said:
Thanks for sharing this poem about how you feel betrayed by someone who has betrayed every other girl. The person described comes across as predatory and there are many of them around. Unfortunately there seems to be always enough prey or victims around for this type of predator to thrive.

Well, that's the case at least until the reputation catches up and potential victims are warned. But that stage is sometimes reached after a trail of bitter tears has been shed which seem to be the case in this scenario. ironically, some victims choose to ignore the warning and plow ahead anyway for personal reasons.

But why is the girl so easily fooled if the person had that kind of bad reputation she mentions? Did the deceiver invent some very convincing story on how every other girl had been a mistake but that she, the girl in the poem, was very special? Had she learned about his bad reputation only after she had been victimized?

I like the repetition that the poem uses. It fits in with the lamentation or sorrowful mood. When we are in sorrow we usually do tend to repeat certain words and phrases that way.The poem's purpose seems to be to express extreme emotional pain due to being deceived. Also a deep regret over not being wiser. It does that in a few words, but does so very well.

Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Suggestion

The separation of paragraphs can be done by using just one hyphen. If I misled by suggesting the use of hyphen for stanza separation and not explaining this in a previous review then my apologies.

Hey there, TheLeakyPen !!

Here is Eros again with a review for another work of yours !!

The title of the poem is very attractive and catchy. I like the thing that the title is not too short and not too long also.

The format of your presentation is very neat and unique. I love how you have expressed those feelings of pain through this poem.

All this is so true. This happens and this hurts a lot. The feeling of 'hurt' is expressed very nicely here. The poem is very simple and easy to understand, like the other works that I have read.

It is an awesome poem and I loved it.
But there is a hiddenite story inside of the poem. It is very deep and sad. I liked the romantic way on which you have written it all. The poem is full of emotions and feeling of sadness. It was a touchy poem and it touched my heart. I should not hesitate to say that... It made me cry.

Overall, a great work !

Keep writing such awesome poetries and stuff, and we will keep reading them !

Have a great day / night !
~Eros.