I feel the pain deep inside,
It's fading but never leave my side.
I have to make it hide so my friends won't see.
If they see they think they cannot rely on me.
Time slips by as I return to myself
but there it is for me and no one and no one else.
It surfaces once again,
the pain swallows up my gain.
Hiding it away so no one can see,
I can't let it slip away from me.
Once again time makes it fade,
but the scar is still there from my escapade.
The only release is meaningless poetry,
nothing left for me.
Helloooooo!! I think your poem was really good, I think you made a few grammar mistakes, but nothing that took away from the meaning. I really like your words choices and it for the most part, flowed naturally. I think the ending was a little abrupt, but it’s your poem. Overall, I think you did an awesomely amazing job with this poem. 
Just fine poetry highlighting the pain that one can't let go off. Excellent.
The thing is that i didn't found it that dramatic, but more as for a narration.
A bit more attention is to be paid on the grammar side.
Rest, the words as executed nicely and the expression is expressed wonderfully, and that too in such a less word count. Excellent work.
Thank you
120,187 Literary Works • 648,980 Reviews
Points: 733
Reviews: 64
Donate