Hello, I’m Thundahguy. Since this is one of the oldest works in the green room currently, I thought I’d review it. I haven’t read the previous chapters (sorry about that) so bear with me for this. Looking at your other chapters, though, they’re much longer than this one. There isn’t much to dissect from this one here. Let me start with praises.
I like your use of description. It helps create a good mental image. I also like how you explore Silira’s inner thoughts. They sound both conflicted and confusing, which makes it seem more like a girl’s indecisiveness. Corwin’s intrigue in Silira is also nice to see. How she’s at the forefront of his thoughts, which signals that he may actually love her.
For complaints, I don’t really have a lot. It’s incredibly short, as I’ve said before, so there isn’t much action. Lord Tiernan’s dialogue is a bit confusing as well.
"Aeryn's best food, which personally I think is the best food anywhere. And then parties every night, dancing, feasting...and the very last night of all, New Year's E'en, will have the best feast of all. And, possibly, fireworks. Also, if you do marry Princess Serena, it will be that night."
He sounds much more absent-minded and just saying things along. I don’t know if he had always spoken like that in previous chapters, but it’s a bit, well, Trump-like. Ignore this if he’s always talked like that and I’m just talking out of my butt.
Overall, it’s a short and sweet chapter. It has good points, it’s just a bit short. I might check your other chapters out later, if I have the time.
Points: 0
Reviews: 74
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