z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

It Was The Color Of Your Hair

by LJF


I wanted to be friends with
That pretty girl I met.
But I was just a child
Too young to understand
That having someone who'll be there
Means being there for them.

I think I drove you crazy-
No, I know I did.
But if you ever said so,
I was too clueless to notice.

Yeah, we hurt each other
So many times.
I never even noticed
The pain you were going through.
Because I believed
That you were invincible,
I didn't realize
That you were just human

I forced my way into your life,
Never noticing
How shy and self-conscious
You were with everyone,
Or that you had a past
That hurt far more
Than mine.

I thought you were friends
With everyone.
You say you weren't popular,
But that's news to me.
You were so bright
I could never compare.

I've known you
For so many years.
Can you believe how long it's been?
We've both changed so much, and
I'm proud to know you.
You've been working so hard
To conquer your demons, and to
Speak up for yourself.

You're so amazing,
So why can't you see it?
You've got the biggest heart
I've ever seen.

To me, you've never been
The awkward girl you think you are.
I've always seen you as
A firefly,
A lion,
A fairy queen,
And yes,
A dragon.

(Note: The title of this poem is a reference to a TV show my best friend and I both like.)


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79 Reviews


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Reviews: 79

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Sat Jan 20, 2018 5:09 am
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CateRose17 wrote a review...



In every friendship, something like this happens. You see your friend as someone who can't be broken and you lean on them so much that it starts to hurt them too and you don't even know it. You see them as such a hero that you place them on a pedestal and you're right, you forget they're human. I love how you captured that and placed it in words. I loved the way you did that. It was beautifully and honestly done. I have a friend just like this that I love deeply and it fits him so well. You know someone's a good writer when you can relate to their poetry so much that you can see the person just after the first stanza. I congratulate you. You're the first person to ever do that with their poetry whenever I read it. GREAT job, my dear.


Love,

CateRose




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145 Reviews


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Thu Jan 18, 2018 8:18 pm
Thisislegacy wrote a review...



Legacy here for a review.

I understand this poem in a spiritual way. I love how this shows how someone that is strong headed unintentionally hurts someone (a common trope) in an uncommon way. Your capitalization and punctuation are well used and do not take away from the poem at all. Your note at the bottom seems like it is unneeded (in my opinion), as I couldn't find the reference you are talking about (I might not see it, please enlighten me). I don't see anything that you need to change.

That's all I have for you, Legacy out.




LJF says...


The title of the poem, "It Was The Color Of Your Hair," is a famous quote from a show my friend and I like.



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61 Reviews


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Thu Jan 18, 2018 5:55 pm
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StuckOnEarth wrote a review...



Hiya! Space here for a review!

Wow, even though this poem was short and very straight-forward, the message it sent about you and the best friend was very strong. You were the one who wanted to be her friend, you didn't see the pain she was going through because you were too young and didn't understand, but now you have both gotten older and learned and are still close friends. I think something I got from this was that you/the protagonist learned, and began to understood as you/they got older, and you/them understand now and that held the friendship together.

I personally saw it as a very close relationship, if not a bit rocky at first due to the young age and the "demons" the friend was going through, but the fact that the friendship stayed together despite that and they both learned, shows that it is a very strong relationship.

(You also clearly saw her as an idol, which I got from the line "I wanted to be friends with that pretty girl I just met", "you say you weren't popular, but that's news to me", and "because I believed that you were invincible.")

It was a great poem, and really heart-felt too. Great job!

-Space the Snickerdoodle




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25 Reviews


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Reviews: 25

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Thu Jan 18, 2018 5:14 pm
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LJF says...



@Lake @Danni88 @AllisonTheWriter @alliyah @DemonGoddess @saentiel @Flumadiddle @KatjaDawn @WanderlustStardust




LakeOfCancer says...


AYYYYYYY!!! YOU PUT ME FIRST!!!! YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!XDXDXDXDXD



LJF says...


@emolemon



lemonboi says...


ack i'm so freaking emotionally weak! It should be illegal to read more than one of your poems a day I'm literally ugh I love your work! <3



LJF says...


@emolemon Thanks- you're too sweet! (Can lemons be sweet, or is that an oxymoron?)



lemonboi says...


omg i never thought of it like that... and thanks!






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25 Reviews


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Reviews: 25

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Thu Jan 18, 2018 5:09 pm
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LJF says...



To you who this poem is about (and you know who you are), I love you so much and I just know we're going to be friends forever!
-ME





If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.
— Mo Willems