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16+ Violence Mature Content


by MrsxCreepypasta

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.

I know I’m insane, I have always known it. I love it. People stare at me and whisper, but I only smile, they will never know how much fun it is. They say my soul is black and my heart is cold and made of stone, and it's true.

“Fetch him a straight jacket,” they shout.

“Call the doctor,” my mother says.

No doctor can save me, I’m too far along. My therapist says that these feelings will pass, that I´ll be okay after a bit counseling. It's silly to think everything can be fixed with a few crying sessions and a bottle of pills. That's the way it's always been. If there's something wrong with you, they shove them down your throat until your body is nothing but a shell of your former self. You think humans kill people? No, the real killers are those tiny blue and red capsules you swallow every morning. My family thinks I'm a killer, I won’t lie I’ve thought about slicing them up.

I often cut myself to see how much I bleed, feeling the blood run down my arm gives me a rush. Just imagine the feeling I would get if I could make another bleed. I’ve come so close to doing it, there are so many people in this world, I'd be doing a favor. I'd be releasing them from the cruel world we live in. Think about it, you’d be walking down the street, just a few minutes before midnight, while I trail behind you unknowingly. I’m so quiet as I watch you from afar, waiting, listening. I wait for the fear to strike you as you realize there are extra footsteps. Of course, you speed up, but really? What good will that do? You're already dead. I know you probably wanna scream, but its so late whos gonna hear you?

My voices are telling me to hurry, they keep yelling at me to do it already, but I don’t want to kill you quickly. Where's the fun in that?

I’m getting closer, I hold back my laughter as I reach out to you, grabbing your arm. You fall and stare at me with pure horror in your eyes. I like that. You scream, why are you screaming? No one can hear, here let me scream with you. I find it funny how we humans respond this way as if screaming will always save you, even when you're alone. the voices get louder, so loud that it drowns out the sounds of the night.

“Hurry up and kill them,” my voices urge.

“This is what you wanted right?”

I shut my eyes tightly and wait for the voices to die down, you look up at me, with a wide mouth and teary face. I must obey the voices. Your eyes widen as you watch me pull out a knife, you let out a scream, but we can't have that. No, not anymore, besides we're all alone out here just me and you. I open your mouth wide, you shudder as I press the blade on your tongue. I wait a moment, soaking in the soft sobbing. I place the tip of the blade on your tongue. This makes more tears fall from your face. I add more pressure, breaking the skin and bringing blood to the surface.

 Your eyes are shut tight, but really it can't be that bad, not yet of course. We haven't even started the fun yet. I can't wait any longer it's just not enough blood yet. With one swift movement, I slice your tongue off, blood gushes from your face. With wide eyes, you look at me covering your mouth. What good will that do? the blood will just spill over. Unable to speak, you let out a few whimpers as you scoot away. Your gurgling something, perhaps to say help. I admire your perseverance, but no one will come, not until in the morning that is. Someone will walk down the street and discover your mutilated body. Soon there's a full-scale investigation, there's gonna be news segments and headlines. No one will care really, why should they? It's gonna happen again and again. So you don't have to worry someone WILL come.

It's not over yet, I still haven't gotten that full rush yet. Grabbing you by the shirt, I drag you. there's a trail of blood, but I don’t care. I stop in an alley and throw you against the wall.

“What will you do now?” the voices ask.

I grin. What will I do? there are so many ways to kill a man. You're so close to death already with all that blood coming from your mouth. You can barely stay up. But, you can’t die yet not when we are having so much fun. I pull the knife out again and ran my fingers down the smooth medal then swirled it in my hands.

¨Where should I stab you? Maybe in the neck, but it's to cliche.¨

¨I could stab you in the thigh, that would allow you to bleed to death, but it's SO messy¨

I smile as I bring the blade to your face.

¨I know, right here.¨

I place the tip on your cheek.

Slowly and carefully I began to carve my name into the soft skin. The blade cut easily into the pink flesh. You let out a few whimpers, but I Ignore them and continue my work. I put the knife away and stare at you. The crimson words dripped with fresh blood. You look back at me with puffy watery eyes, you don’t have much time left, you're slipping quickly. I could just leave you, but the voices won't let me.

“make them burn.”

I listen for a long time until the voices once again stop, pulling out a lighter, I stare at you. This is the only way I’ll satisfy them. The voices began to cheer as I bring the flame close to your body it took a few tries before there was a small flame. Slowly It begins to move up igniting your clothes. I watch as you shake violently, but the flames just keep spreading. Your body is now covered in the devil's blanket, you stop moving and now there is silence. I stare down at you, something inside of me is just not satisfied yet. I turn and start to walk away looking for someone else to play with.

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337 Reviews

Points: 5400
Reviews: 337

Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:32 pm
Radrook wrote a review...

It is truly saddening that there are actually real live human beings who think exactly how you describe this person. Unfortunately, some aren't quite as transparent and are experts in hiding their true selves. These can wreak havoc as serial killers.

In any case, you certainly did convey the abnormal thought processes and the condition of this mentally ill person very convincingly. The fact that you were not more explicit in the burning-alive scene seems to indicate that you as a writer don't especially relish going into those fine details which would have made the piece even more disturbing. I imagine that someone like Mel Gibson would have absolutely no qualms in doing so since his films are known for their gruesome depictions of such things.

Your story-telling skills are certainly evident in this piece.

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Points: 363
Reviews: 2

Fri Jan 12, 2018 8:48 pm
poemasruins wrote a review...

I think your choice of 2nd-person perspective was perfect, and the opening paragraph was a strong start to an overall decent horror short story/flash fiction.

Whilst I think the demonising of mental illness is a very touchy subject, I'm not about to call you out about political correctness. I hope you don't mind me making a few suggestions for improvements.
First of all, I think you should pay more attention to your grammar and/or have someone check it over for you. There were a lot of mistakes, and that can easily put people off a story.
Secondly, it seems odd to me that the speaker's family call them "a killer". I highly doubt they know about the murders - has the speaker killed animals before? I think the reasons as to why their peers and family think they're insane needs more clarification.
Finally, the end paragraph is pretty anti-climatic and underwhelming. The imagery of someone burning alive could be made much more vivid and horrifying, and this sentence in particular:
> Your body is now covered in the devil's blanket, you stop moving and now there is silence.
Needed work.

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12 Reviews

Points: 108
Reviews: 12

Wed Jan 10, 2018 3:09 am
Helena13 wrote a review...

...This. Is. AMAZING! The second person style is amazing and the psychological thriller aspect of it makes me shiver. The voices are usually cliché, but you played them off perfectly. This is an amazing story. I just can't believe what I just read! The part about the pills probably hits a bit close to home for people who take medicine for mental disorders, but maybe it's good to think about things like that. Not that I agree with the main character's ideals, of course.

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15 Reviews

Points: 1620
Reviews: 15

Tue Jan 09, 2018 4:29 pm
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nickelgotyourback wrote a review...

This was freakin amazing! I love suspense and physcological thrillers. I love your creepy bloody descriptions it seems like this isn’t your first go around with this genre haha. Having the story in the perspective of the killer is very interesting. This way the motives of the sadistic person are clear. The voices in his head highlight how schizophrenia can be very annoying and persistent. Reading this gave me chills and when I realize that this isn’t actually the killer talking and there is an author behind this it makes me want to ask “dude are you okay?” haha. I have some suggestions though. You’re great at bringing the story along and summarizing it nicely, although it would be cool if there were more description in regards of what the victim looked like and hints on what the killer looks like, how big the knife was, what it smelled and looked like in the characters surroundings. It would also be cool if in italics you wrote what the voices were saying because it seems more ominous that way. Maybe you could also write what the various voices sound like if some voices sound different them others. Do these voices have names and have their own disposition that corresponds to a specific voice? I know some people with scizo have that. You might even cover what I was asking about later on if this is going to be like a chapter book idk? What I do know is that you are a brilliant story teller!

Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.
— Jack Sparrow