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16+ Violence Mature Content

Insane

by MrsxCreepypasta


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.

I know I’m insane; I have always known it. I love it. People stare at me and whisper, but I only smile, they will never know how much fun it is. They say my mind is dark and my heart is bitter and made of stone, and it's true.

“Fetch him a straightjacket,” they exclaim.

“Call the doctor,” my mother says.

No doctor can save me, I’m too far along. My therapist says that these feelings will pass that Ill be okay after a bit counseling. It's idiotic to think everything can be fixed with a few crying sessions and a bottle of pills. That's the way it's always been. If there's something wrong with you, they shove them down your throat until your body is nothing, but a shell of your former self. You think humans kill people? No, the real killers are those tiny blue and red capsules you swallow every morning. My family thinks I'm a killer, I won’t lie I’ve thought about slicing them up.

I often cut myself to see how much I bleed, feeling the blood run down my arm gives me a rush. Just imagine the feeling I would get if I could make another bleed. I’ve come close to doing it, there are so many people in this world, I'd be doing a favor. I'd be releasing them from the cruel world we live in. Think about it, you’d be walking down the street, just a few minutes before midnight, while I trail behind you unknowingly. I’m so quiet as I watch you from afar, waiting, listening. I wait for the fear to strike you as you realize there are extra footsteps. Of course, you speed up, but really? what good will that do? you're already dead. I know you probably wanna scream, but its so late who's gonna hear you?

My voices are telling me to hurry, they keep yelling at me to do it already, but I don’t want to kill you quickly. where's the fun in that?

I’m getting closer, I hold back my laughter as I reach out to you, grabbing your arm. You fall and stare at me with pure horror in your eyes. I like that. You scream, why are you screaming? No one can hear, Here let me scream with you. I find it funny how we humans respond this way as if screaming will always save you, even when you're alone. the voices get louder, so loud that it drowns out the sounds of the night.

“Hurry up and kill them,” my voices urge.

“This is what you wanted right?”

I shut my eyes tightly and wait for the voices to die down, you look up at me, with a mouth wide and teary face. I must obey the voices. Your eyes widen as you watch me pull out a knife, you let out a scream, but we can't have that. No not anymore, besides we're all alone out here just me and you. I open your mouth wide, you shudder as I press the blade on your tongue. I wait a moment, soaking in the soft sobbing. I place the tip of the blade on your tongue this makes more tears fall from your face. I add more pressure, breaking the skin and bringing blood to the surface. Blood drops to the ground. Your eyes are shut tight, but really it can't be that bad, not yet of course. We haven't even started the fun yet. I can't wait any longer it's just not enough blood yet. With one swift movement, I slice your tongue off, blood gushes from your face. with wide eyes, you stare, covering your mouth. What good will that do? the blood will just spill over. Unable to speak, you let out a few whimpers as you scoot away. Your gurgling something, perhaps to say help. I admire your perseverance, but no one will come, not until in the morning that is. Someone will walk down the street and discover your mangled body. Soon there's a full-scale investigation, there's gonna be news segments and headlines. No one will care really why should they? It's gonna happen again and again. So you don't have to worry someone WILL come.

It's not over yet, I still haven't gotten that full rush yet. Grabbing you by the shirt, I drag you. there's a trail of blood, but I don’t care. I stop in an alley and throw you against the wall.

“What will you do now?” the voices ask.

I grin. What will I do? there are so many ways to kill a man. You're so close to death already with all that blood falling from your mouth. You can barely stay up. But, you can’t die yet not when we are having so much fun. I pull the knife out again and ran my fingers down the smooth medal then twirled it in my hands.

¨Where should I stab you? Maybe in the neck, but it's to cliche. ¨

¨I could stab you in the thigh, that would allow you to bleed to death, but it's SO messy¨

I smile as I bring the blade to your face.

¨I know, right here. ¨

I place the tip on your cheek.

Slowly and gingerly I began to carve my name into the delicate skin. The blade cut easily into the pink flesh. You let out a few whimpers, but I Ignore them and continue my work. I put the knife away and stare at you. The crimson words dripped with fresh blood. You look back at me with puffy watery eyes, you don’t have much time left, you're slipping quickly. I could just leave you, but the voices won't let me.

“Finish them off,"

I listen for a long time until the voices once again stop, Gripping the knife in hand, I stare at you. This is the only way I’ll satisfy them. I slowly slide my hand up your shirt, your skin is still warm despite the cold air, It felt nice under my palm. I keep my hand there for a while letting it absorbed the heat. I know how tired you must be right now, so let's make this quick and easy. Don't worry it's not what you think, what I'm about to do is far worse than ¨having my way¨, but you can be the judge of that.

I cut into you easily, the skin tore away exposing the muscle, it ripped and shredded. Watching the flesh tear away was almost mesmerizing. Deep red blood hurried from the wound, leaving a river of fluids. Blood splattered over my shoes and shirt, my CLEAN shirt. With one final cut, your guts spill to the ground. I puncture something. The blood sprayed out this time almost like a geyser. I know death is really close now, I can feel him breathing down my neck, just waiting to collect you.

¨this may pinch a little, ¨ I whisper

I ram my hands into your body. The heat was almost overwhelming. Your eyes are getting heavy, its okay go ahead and close them. I carefully wiggle my arm up into your chest. I bet you can guess what I'm looking for. I can feel its rapid beating already. I've always wanted to rip someone's heart out. I've seen people do it so many times on tv as a kid, it's probably why I'm so fucked up. I Finally reach it, you wince in pain as I squeeze it tightly. It's odd how you're still holding on to life, in reality, you should already be dead. I suddenly rip it out, I could hear the echoes of your flesh ripping and the bones snapping. The red organ pulsated in my hand and slowly diminished as I clenched it tight.

You could say I'm psychotic, but I like to say I'm creative. This world is a canvas and you are my masterpiece. Death is beautiful if you think about it, It's sad that we cannot see it. We, humans, die in such extraordinary ways. Thank god there are people like me who can see the world how it really is. So bitter. So dirty. That's why we leave our works of art around so that you can see real elegance, even though you don't sympathize with it.


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18 Reviews


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Fri May 18, 2018 3:53 pm
Quinine wrote a review...



Grammar and Punctuation Fixes:

1.
"My family thinks I'm a killer, I won’t lie I’ve thought about slicing them up."
Needs to be broken up a bit.
Fix: "My family thinks I'm a killer. I won't lie-I've thought about slicing them up."

2.
"I often cut myself to see how much I bleed, feeling the blood run down my arm gives me a rush."
Grammatically incohesive. Break up as well.
Fix: "I often cut myself to see how much I bleed. Feeling the blood run down my arm gives me a rush."

3.
"I’ve come close to doing it, there are so many people in this world, I'd be doing a favor."
Break up this one too.
Fix: "I’ve come close to doing it. There are so many people in this world that I'd be doing a favor."

4.
"My voices are telling me to hurry, they keep yelling at me to do it already, but I don’t want to kill you quickly. where's the fun in that?"
Also break up this, and capitalize the w.
Fix: "My voices are telling me to hurry. They keep yelling at me to do it already-but I don’t want to kill you quickly. Where's the fun in that?"

5.
"I’m getting closer, I hold back my laughter as I reach out to you, grabbing your arm. You fall and stare at me with pure horror in your eyes. I like that. You scream, why are you screaming? No one can hear, Here let me scream with you. I find it funny how we humans respond this way as if screaming will always save you, even when you're alone. the voices get louder, so loud that it drowns out the sounds of the night."
Let's break up this entire paragraph.
Fix: "I’m getting closer. I hold back my laughter as I reach out to you, grabbing your arm. You fall and stare at me with pure horror in your eyes. I like that. You scream. Why are you screaming? No one can hear. Here, I will scream with you. I find it funny how we humans respond this way-as if screaming will always save you, even when you're alone.
The voices get louder, so loud that it drowns out the sounds of the night."

6.
“This is what you wanted right?”
Add a comma.
Fix: "“This is what you wanted, right?”

7.
"No not anymore, besides we're all alone out here just me and you."
Break up and add punctuation.
Fix: "No-not anymore. Besides, we're all alone out here-just me and you."

8.
"No one will care really why should they?"
Add punctuation.
Fix: "No one will care-really, why should they?

9.
"Your eyes are getting heavy, its okay go ahead and close them."
Break this up as well.
Fix: "Your eyes are getting heavy. It's okay-go ahead and close them."

10.
"I've seen people do it so many times on tv as a kid, it's probably why..."
This too.
"I've seen people do it so many times on TV as a kid. It's probably why..."

General Suggestions:
1. Proofread.
2. Keep the tenses consistent.

Hope this helps!
-Quinine




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Sat Feb 03, 2018 7:19 pm
Haven wrote a review...



Hmmm. I have to say I'm quite impressed with the depth of detail into the gore factor that's put into the story as well as the insight shown from the point of view of the character that is lost to insanity.

While I think you beginning is strong, I think it might be a bit straight forward. I mean if you were the character, would you think you were insane at first? At your closing paragraph you state:

"You could say I'm psychotic, but I like to say I'm creative. This world is a canvas and you are my masterpiece. Death is beautiful if you think about it, It's sad that we cannot see it. We, humans, die in such extraordinary ways. Thank god there are people like me who can see the world how it really is. So bitter. So dirty. That's why we leave our works of art around so that you can see real elegance, even though you don't sympathize with it."

Now to me that doesn't seem like someone who thinks they're insane or even crazy, but that they just see the world in a different light.

But as much as I enjoyed reading your story, I noticed you had some grammar problems. I often have the same problem when writing. Putting commas, periods, exclamation points and such in wrong places or not putting them there at all. Perhaps asking someone to look over your writing before publishing.




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Mon Jan 29, 2018 11:45 pm
Radrook says...



Good job in portraying a sick criminally insane person who sees beauty and finds pleasure in inflicting suffering and death on others. I also got the impression that either the writer doesn't know the difference between a sentence and a fragment, since the whole composition is just one continuous display of run-on sentences, or else that the writer is using run-on sentences to indiicate the insanity of the persona who is speaking.

The constant references to hearing voices came across as either schizophrenia or else demonic possession. The speaker's willingness to trust those voices came across as either sheer stupidity ofelse the effect of being posessed. After all, just because voices are voices doesn't automatically mean that we should either listen or do what they say. Instead, we should ask why we are hearing them and what their source might be. Then again, the writer is trying to portray insanity so that is to be expected.

Another thing that struck me as poignant is that the speaker assumes to have the right to take a human life and that his derivation of pleasure and perception of beauty in the macabre are in themselves moral justification for behaving like a mindless pleasure-motivated machine. Which again is another way to convey insanity.

The ending which strives to convince the reader that all this is perfectly understandable and acceptable comes across as a futile request for approval or understanding when no such approval or understanding can be expected to be forthcoming from any sane reader. Which is of course again is another demonstration of being out of touch with reality.

In short, your composition does indeed convey the workings of an insane mind. However, please keep in mind that when one writes such things one should wonder whether one might be encouraging someone who is borderline insane to go ahead with such fantasies.

Will our writing provide the justification for that borderline insane person which finally pushes him over the edge? So as writers that is something that we constantly must take into consideration since as writers we do have a moral responsibiluity on how our writing will affect the minds of others. As a reader those are the issues that came to mind and the general impressios I derived.




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Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:45 pm
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PinkTaco says...



this had me SHOOK like words can not even explain how much I loved this. This makes me wonder if YOU the writer yourself is insane. The ending had my body hurting, even tho is was not me, it felt like I could feel the pain.




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Mon Jan 29, 2018 6:46 pm
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Po5eidon says...



I'm not gonna lie. That ACTUALLY scared me (and made me feel a tiny bit sick towards the end)




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Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:32 pm
Radrook wrote a review...



It is truly saddening that there are actually real live human beings who think exactly how you describe this person. Unfortunately, some aren't quite as transparent and are experts in hiding their true selves. These can wreak havoc as serial killers.

In any case, you certainly did convey the abnormal thought processes and the condition of this mentally ill person very convincingly. The fact that you were not more explicit in the burning-alive scene seems to indicate that you as a writer don't especially relish going into those fine details which would have made the piece even more disturbing. I imagine that someone like Mel Gibson would have absolutely no qualms in doing so since his films are known for their gruesome depictions of such things.

Your story-telling skills are certainly evident in this piece.




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Fri Jan 12, 2018 8:48 pm
poemasruins wrote a review...



I think your choice of 2nd-person perspective was perfect, and the opening paragraph was a strong start to an overall decent horror short story/flash fiction.

Whilst I think the demonising of mental illness is a very touchy subject, I'm not about to call you out about political correctness. I hope you don't mind me making a few suggestions for improvements.
First of all, I think you should pay more attention to your grammar and/or have someone check it over for you. There were a lot of mistakes, and that can easily put people off a story.
Secondly, it seems odd to me that the speaker's family call them "a killer". I highly doubt they know about the murders - has the speaker killed animals before? I think the reasons as to why their peers and family think they're insane needs more clarification.
Finally, the end paragraph is pretty anti-climatic and underwhelming. The imagery of someone burning alive could be made much more vivid and horrifying, and this sentence in particular:
> Your body is now covered in the devil's blanket, you stop moving and now there is silence.
Needed work.




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Wed Jan 10, 2018 3:09 am
Helena13 wrote a review...



...This. Is. AMAZING! The second person style is amazing and the psychological thriller aspect of it makes me shiver. The voices are usually cliché, but you played them off perfectly. This is an amazing story. I just can't believe what I just read! The part about the pills probably hits a bit close to home for people who take medicine for mental disorders, but maybe it's good to think about things like that. Not that I agree with the main character's ideals, of course.




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Tue Jan 09, 2018 4:29 pm
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nickelgotyourback wrote a review...



This was freakin amazing! I love suspense and physcological thrillers. I love your creepy bloody descriptions it seems like this isn’t your first go around with this genre haha. Having the story in the perspective of the killer is very interesting. This way the motives of the sadistic person are clear. The voices in his head highlight how schizophrenia can be very annoying and persistent. Reading this gave me chills and when I realize that this isn’t actually the killer talking and there is an author behind this it makes me want to ask “dude are you okay?” haha. I have some suggestions though. You’re great at bringing the story along and summarizing it nicely, although it would be cool if there were more description in regards of what the victim looked like and hints on what the killer looks like, how big the knife was, what it smelled and looked like in the characters surroundings. It would also be cool if in italics you wrote what the voices were saying because it seems more ominous that way. Maybe you could also write what the various voices sound like if some voices sound different them others. Do these voices have names and have their own disposition that corresponds to a specific voice? I know some people with scizo have that. You might even cover what I was asking about later on if this is going to be like a chapter book idk? What I do know is that you are a brilliant story teller!





Only the suppressed word is dangerous.
— Ludwig Borne