Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » General


Procrastination At Its Greatest

by Arfydogs7


Time passes by, faster and faster

The clock on the wall, it shows disaster

Two more pages, fifteen minutes to go

Paper blank and clean as white snow

Type some words, doesn’t matter what

Use bad sources, find a shortcut

The essay is done, three minutes remain

Be quick or the effort is down the drain

Help, the web page, it isn’t loading

Wait while the file takes forever uploading

Finally it loads and I submit on the website,

The work is submitted one minute to midnight


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
130 Reviews


Points: 10764
Reviews: 130

Donate
Tue Nov 14, 2017 5:40 pm
Radrook wrote a review...



Thanks for sharing this interesting poem. As a writer searching for ideas at unholy hours of the night I certainly understand the mental frustration of staring at an empty page with an empty mind. But I don’t sense frustration in the poem. It comes across simply as a casual observation. Which is good since we should take things calmly. I liked the rhyming.

“ .... is going down the drain....” “....it just isn’t loading.” seems to make it flow better.




User avatar
23 Reviews


Points: 1213
Reviews: 23

Donate
Tue Nov 14, 2017 4:53 am
LittleLee wrote a review...



Hey, LittleLee here for a review!
I just love the jovial tone you have taken fur this hilarious poem! It's this about review day, by any chance?
Second line : you could have said "impending disaster", it sounds funnier.
The last line is really funny to read, I don't know why!!
:D
I'd have liked to have seen more of this poem, Arfy! It is really unique in it's style as well.
Maybe you could have used stanzas? It would have made it seem easier to the eyes!!
There are absolutely no grammatical mistakes! Well done!
All in all, it was a very enjoyable read!




User avatar
33 Reviews


Points: 4867
Reviews: 33

Donate
Mon Nov 13, 2017 3:58 pm
TheBlueCat wrote a review...



Hullo Arfydogs7! Cat here to review this super relateable poem! Okay then, here we go! :D

First, let's go through your poem together (Anything in bold is my comments/suggestions/grammar help):

Spoiler! :
Time passes by, faster and faster

The clock on the wall, it shows disaster

Two more pages, fifteen minutes to go

Paper blank and clean as white snow

Type some words, doesn’t matter what

Use bad sources, find a shortcut

The essay is done, three minutes remain

Be quick or the effort is down the drain

Help!, the web page, it isn’t loading!

Now I Wait while the file takes forever uploading

Finally it loads and I submit on the website,

The work is submitted one minute to midnight


What I liked: I loved how this poem made me laugh, my favorite line was most likely "Help, the web page, it isn't loading". I know the feeling of the slow, super important, website!

What to fix grammar/spelling wise: I didn't see anything! Good work!

Plot holes/confusing stuff: The title, "Procrastination At Its Greatest", may be less confusing if you replace 'greatest' with 'finest'.

Other random comments: For me, the line "Time passes by, faster and faster" always occurs the opposite for me, with the time going slower, but I guess if you are in a time crunch, the time will seem to go way too fast.

Well anyways, love the poem! Good job and keep writing! :D





Remember: no stress allowed. Have fun, and learn from your fellow writers - that's what storybooks are all about.
— Wolfical