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Harry Potter Fan Fiction: The Sorting Ceremony

by MJTucker


Harry Potter Fan Fiction: The Sorting Ceremony

“First years, settle down, settle down!” Professor Miranda McGonagall clapped her hands, and the everyone fell silent. All, that is, except for one.

“I hope I’m a Slytherin! It runs in the household, you see. I can’t even count the generations it has been in our family, seeing as I am a pureblood and everybody in our family has been a Slytherin,” a boy boasted, puffing out his chest. “It would be a disgrace if I was in any other of the puny houses.”

“That is enough, Rico!” McGonagall scolded, and the boy simply smirked back. McGonagall glared at him, but he stayed quiet, so she cleared her throat and prepared for her traditional speech.

"Welcome to Hogwarts. The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts.You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory and spend free time in your house common-room. The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding wizards and witches. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rule-breaking will lose house points.At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours. The Sorting Ceremony will take place as soon as those doors open." She tapped a scroll against her palm. "Any questions?"

There was silence, and then the doors to the Great Hall swung open. The first years stepped in, all looking around and gaping at the majesty of everything. All, that is, except for one.

“I’VE already toured Hogwarts. Twice, in fact. Our family comes every year for Christmas, since my father is part of the Ministry of Magic. He only allowed me to come two years ago, since before then I was apparently ‘two young’.”

“Shush, Rico!” McGonagall hissed.

Rico muttered something to his friends, and they both chuckled, further enraging McGonagall. She wisely kept her mouth shut, seeing as Rico’s father had a position of considerable power at Hogwarts. It would be best for everyone if they tolerated his brattiness.

She looked over to the boy at her right, who was just taking everything in. He still remained composed, dressed to perfection, and something about his deep green eyes suggested that he was contemplating something very deep. “How are you settling in, Barry?” she whispered.

“Very well, thank you,” Barry answered crisply. “Does Professor Dumbledore realize that with a very simple charm, the inconsistencies of the ceiling could be fixed? For example, there”—he pointed to a section of ceiling that seemed to be flickering on and off—”could be fixed with an easy spell. In fact, I’m surprised Professor Dumbledore hasn’t fixed it already.”

“I’m sure he’ll work on it. For now, just enjoy your initiation,” McGonagall whispered back. His father had made her swear to look after him, seeing as his intellectual drive was sometimes seen as an invitation for bullying and harrassment.

She stopped the First Years at the front of the Great Hall, then turned to face them. “When I call your name, please step up and take a seat on the stool. I will place the Hat on your head, and you can join your House.” She glanced at the scroll in her hands and then looked back up at the group of children, all huddled together. With a pang, she remembered standing here and seeing their fathers and grandfathers and mothers and grandmothers all being sorted into a house, just as timid and frightened as they were now.

The 11-year-olds were all gathered together and whispering to their friends, all uncertain of what would happen when they were called up to be sorted. All, that is, except one.

“This is pointless,” Rico complained. “We all know that I’m going to be a Slytherin. Why do I have to put the stupid old hat on my head? It probably has millions of lice from all the filthy Mudbloods it’s touched.”

The crowd gasped, and McGonagall grabbed Rico by the shoulder. “This is your only warning, Rico. Next time we hear such foul language used, and you speak out of turn like that, you will find yourself in some serious trouble, do you understand?”

RIco rolled his eyes and nodded, and McGonagall bit her lip. “As soon as you are assigned to your house, I will be docking 30 points from that house. 10 for your attitude towards correction, 10 for speaking out of turn, and 20 for such foul language and inconsideration of tradition.”

Rico opened his mouth to protest, but one of his friends nudged him. “Drop it,” he whispered, and Rico, somehow, listened.

McGonagall cleared her throat again. “Doyle, Craig.”

The boy to the left of Rico stepped up and sat on the stool, tipping it a little as he settled onto it. McGonagall lifted the hat and placed it down on Doyle’s head, and the Hat hummed for a little before speaking.

“Hmm, interesting one we’ve got here. I can see some parts of Hufflepuff here, ah, yes, determined and loyal, but I see a rebellious streak here too. This one doesn’t play fair, ah, yes, it’s a bit too loyal, if you know what I mean.” The Hat chuckled before reaching its decision. “Slytherin!” he yelled, and Doyle ran over to the Slytherins, who proudly slapped him on the back and welcomed them into their huddle.

McGonagall clapped politely and waited for the cheering to die down before reading off the next name on the list. “Creevey, Courtney.”

A small, red-haired girl walked up to the stool and sat down, folding her hands in her lap. She fidgeted relentlessly as McGonagall placed the Hat on her head.

“Ah, yes, I see what we have here. A quirky one, that’s for sure.” The girl blushed scarlet. “Don’t be ashamed, lass, that’s something to be prized! I’m thinking this is a sure Ravenclaw, but at the heart of the matter, I see someone who is brave and strong, and that makes you a sure GRYFFINDOR!”

The red-clad figures to the far side of the hall cheered wildly, and cleared a seat for their newest member. Courtney gave them a big smile before hurrying off to join her new family.

“Malfoy, Rico,” McGonagall announced, and the hall fell silent with a sort of reverence that had not been felt for the others. Rico sauntered up the stairs and sat down on the stool, his body angled towards the Slytherins. McGonagall placed the hat upon his head, and no sooner had the Hat brushed the tip of his blonde hair that it bellowed, “SLYTHERIN!”

Rico waved to his fans and gave a dramatic bow as he pulled up a chair next to Doyle, and within moments he was chatting away with the other Slytherins as if they had been friends forever. McGonagall waved for order, and everyone in the hall fell quiet again. All, that is, except for one.

“Oh, come on, give us some time to catch up, will you?” Rico grumbled.

McGonagall pursed her lips. “That just earned you more points from Slytherin, Draco. This gives me a good opportunity to mention the new additions to our House’s point system. Over there, you will see a meter that measures where everyone is in relation to the other houses. The hourglasses are still here, of course, but we thought it might be a nice addition to have meters. Allow me to demonstrate what it will look like. Minus 40 points from Slytherin.”

The meter on the other side dropped to ⅗ of the way to -50 from its starting point at zero, taking away the mysterious green liquid inside. There were collective groans from the Slytherins, but the points were final, and they could do nothing about it except get more points taken away for their attitude.

“Potter, Barry.”

Barry straightened his tie and climbed the steps, then took a seat on the stool. He handed Professor McGonagall the hat, and he placed it on her head.

“Hmm, very nice. I can see that this is a Potter, that much is clear. We have so many qualities here, an arrogant leader, but there is pride, too, and courage, and intelligence. This is a real conundrum, one of the hardest students I’ve been placed with. Most seem to have one underlying and demanding House, but you don’t seem to. Wait, one seems to be popping out at me, give me a moment…. Ah, I’ve got it. SLYTHERIN!”


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Points: 226
Reviews: 1

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Sat Oct 14, 2017 6:33 pm
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MrsxCreepypasta wrote a review...



Hi there creeps here, now I'm not a grammar Nazi so I'm not going to review this based on if your punctuation was on point. No one here is a professional and if your are what are you doing here?

Okay here we go

I have seen many fan stories about Harry Potter, and many of them don't make sense, and lots of them don't know what they are talking about. I'm glad to see an actual worth reading fan story and I LOVE IT. I'm happy to see that I'm not the only Harry potter fan on here. The one thing that bothered me was Rico, and this is just my opinion, but he acted a little too much like Draco. I understand Draco's his father, but perhaps he could have been just a little different from him, it could have been a cool twist.

Anyways great story and I'll be keeping an eye out for more chapters, and that's a promise

love ~ Creeps




MJTucker says...


Hi Creepy Pasta, and thanks for the review! Draco is actually not Rico's father, but he is somewhere in the line. I hope to come out with another fan fiction that will explain that, and you're welcome to look at it if and when I publish it. I appreciate the feedback, and have a nice day!



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Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:05 pm
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DarkPandemonium wrote a review...



Hi, MJ. Pan here to rustle up a review for you today. I don't normally review fanfiction, but I'm a big Harry Potter nut so I couldn't resist checking this out.

Nitpicks

“I hope I’m a Slytherin! It runs in the household, you see. I can’t even count the generations it has been in our family, seeing as I am a pureblood and everybody in our family has been a Slytherin,” a boy boasted, puffing out his chest. “It would be a disgrace if I was in any other of the puny houses.”

“That is enough, Rico!” McGonagall scolded


I'm not a fan of using speech verbs where it's obvious how the dialogue is being said. We know Rico is boasting from his words alone. We know McGonagall is scolding him from the fact that she's telling him to stop. You don't need to clarify the purpose of the dialogue because we can work it out for ourselves.

since before then I was apparently ‘two young’.”


Typo.

they both chuckled, further enraging McGonagall


Can you show her annoyance rather than just telling us about it?

Rico’s father had a position of considerable power at Hogwarts.


I thought Rico just said his father worked at the Ministry?

His father had made her swear to look after him, seeing as his intellectual drive was sometimes seen as an invitation for bullying and harrassment.


1) Typo on 'harassment'.

2) I feel like you have a bit of a habit of clarifying too much and in a very formal way, which can make your writing feel a bit...I can't think of the word. Clinical, perhaps? I feel like I'm being spoon fed the information. You keep reminding me that I'm reading a story so I can't fully settle into it.

all uncertain of what would happen when they were called up to be sorted. All, that is, except one.


They wouldn't all be uncertain, surely? I imagine pure bloods would be pretty few and far between by that point in time, but many of the students would be half bloods. Their magical parents would've told them about the Hat and what to expect.

“As soon as you are assigned to your house, I will be docking 30 points from that house. 10 for your attitude towards correction, 10 for speaking out of turn, and 20 for such foul language and inconsideration of tradition.”


That adds up to forty, so I'm guessing you didn't mean to put thirty. Also, in writing, the convention is that you write numbers out as words.

“That just earned you more points from Slytherin, Draco.


Rico, you mean?

This is a real conundrum, one of the hardest students I’ve been placed with.


It says this, yet it makes a decision incredibly quickly. If Barry was truly difficult to place, he'd be a Hatstall; a student that the Hat takes over five minutes to allocate to a house.

Overall Thoughts

1) I have to assume that you've changed this story quite a bit from the canon. I don't understand how Dumbledore can still be headmaster; even if he hadn't died in The Half Blood Prince, he would never have lived long enough to see Harry's grandchild go to Hogwarts. And it's not like this headmaster could be Dumbledore's child, either, given that Dumbledore was gay.

Also, is this McGonagall is supposed to be Minerva's daughter? J.K. Rowling did reveal that McGonagall had no children, but fair enough if you've changed that.

2) I feel like the story is a bit too similar to the Harry Potter story as we know it. Rico seems like a carbon copy of Draco, right down to the bigoted attitude and constant mentioning of his father - right down to the fact that he's placed into Slytherin the moment the Hat brushes his head. I don't feel like he's that original. Barry is better in that respect, though I find it quite odd that his name is so incredibly similar to Harry's.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's a good idea to write a story focused on Hogwarts so far in the future, because there's real scope to explore the things that have changed about the place. I'd love to see you explore differences in attitudes, how the lessons have changed, whether there's more acceptance of muggles and squibs. I've always wondered whether, after the invention of the internet, muggle-borns would insist on being able to use computers and tablets at Hogwarts. Typing an essay on Microsoft Word is much easier than using a quill and parchment, and an email is much quicker than an owl.

3) Be careful that your characterisation doesn't get a bit too exaggerated. I'm interested by Barry's unintentional smugness and intellect, but his character seems a tad parodied at the moment, what with his only dialogue being to comment on a faulty charm and how it ought to be fixed. Rico is also overbearingly nasty, like you're trying too hard to make him smug and horrible, so he stops feeling like a real person.

4) I am intrigued by the end, because I do love to see fanfiction taking a perspective on Slytherin that J.K. never did. Much as I love Harry Potter, it was irritating that there were so few Slytherins that were decent people, so I hope this story explores the house and looks at how diverse the people within it can be.

I'll call the review here. I hope this was helpful, and I'll keep an eye out for future chapters. The story is lightly written and paced well so far, so it makes for an enjoyable read. I hope to read more.

Keep writing! :D
~Pan




MJTucker says...


Hi there Pan, and thanks for the review! Your points were definitely fair, and the only one I want to address is the timing. I'm planning on writing a further explanation for that, but for now it will suffice to say that McGonagall is the same one who taught Harry Potter. Same with Dumbledore and all the others. Once again, thanks for your review!





So then shouldn't it be "Minerva" McGonagall at the beginning? I'm pretty sure that was her name in the books...

Entertaining fanfic though!



MJTucker says...


You're right about that, good catch! Thanks for the comment




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