Young Writers Society

Very thoughtful language, considering how short it is. I would suggest maybe a comma after soul instead of the hyphen. I first thought that you were about to describe something else, comparing it to the soul with the hyphen in place. But I enjoyed it! Would love a sequel to it, or more on this so called "stranger".

Nice poem. Needs to be a bit longer. Loved it, anyways. Kind of relevant. Brimming with emotional resonance.

Hey! As previously mentioned (I'm sure you're sick of hearing it) is that you need to make it longer because it needs more details and you need to perhaps describe the Stranger. You can still keep him mysterious but there could be so much more details other than describing him too. You could describe the narrator or you could describe the dew to the soul. Clear and pure, while they are good words, you could articulate more from that by using the words immaculate, or bright. All the elements of this poem don't seem to be tying each other together, it just seems like a bunch of lines together. And that's not what poetry is all about. It's about connecting not just the narrator and the readers but to connect the words to their proper meanings, and it doesn't seem to do that because of it's length. If you want it to be short and mysterious than maybe only add 10 more lines. That's enough where you could be more descriptive and still keep it short. Keep writing <3

Sarah24
P.S. I'm sorry if I repeated anything that anyone else said, this is just what stuck out to me <3

Hey there, Eli here for a bday rush!

I am bad at commenting on very short works as I do not what to say really but I hope I am still a bit helpful or try to aim you towards the right path for this work!

I can agree with previous commentators/reviewers that this was too short to actually give us any depth to the story that you try to show us. It is more tell than show as well. Though one good aspect of this work is that you do not only use one sense to express any kind of contact in between characters. The warmth, the shakiness, they are from different interactions and show that the stranger can interact. Even if right there, it is not happening so much. Or not at all.

As well, before I forget to mention this, welcome to YWS and I hope you have fun here. I think this is short and simple, perfect for a first published work in the site. I wish to see longer works of yours in the future though! The lack of commas is maybe my own problem because I am all up for it but it is not such a big complain after all. Though for the third line, I do not like how it is going. you can replace the defis with something else or just put space after and before it. By the way, why is this fantasy? Is it because of the stranger? We need to be able to understand enough of this mysterious figure to say if it is really a fantasy work or not.

Keep on writing!

Hi there and welcome to YWS! I wanted to stop by and leave a few thoughts on your piece.

This is an interesting short and sweet poem. You've got a little bit of imagery in here and very direct language.The first two lines have a good set-up with a little bit of intrigue and mystery too. Who is this person who has left such an impact and why are they not with the speaker?

The third line I think could use a bit more clarity. "A dew to my soul-clear and pure" First off the hyphen was a bit disjointing for me, and might be better replaced with a comma. And secondly I'm really lost on how this line connects to any of the rest of the poem. I would suggest either taking this line out, clarifying its meaning, or adding an additional line to link this one with the rest of the poem.

I like that the resolution doesn't quite clear up all the loose ends. It's up to the reader to decide exactly what/who the "Stranger" is. My first impression was that maybe this was a spiritual piece and the "Stranger" was intended to be God. However, upon reading your comments below I can understand the dream background a bit more, and see that in the poem as well. I think it would be interesting to add a bit more about the Stranger's emotions/attitude because we only get a one-sided perspective in the piece, but overall I think the ambiguity also worked for this poem.

Nice job and best of luck in your future writing!

~alliyah

I'm really impressed by that poem
Its great and the message that is conveyed in the poem may vary from person to person. It also gives a sense of what is not known and helps the readers imagination into thinking who the stranger might be. Also the words you have used are excellent and perfectly fit with the context of the poem. Congratulations..

This is Nikayla here dropping in for a review. Welcome to YWS, luhman! If you ever have any questions, don't be afraid to ask me or any other names in green or red. Without further ado, let's jump right into the review.

First off, I wanted to note that I'm a little confused as to why this is listed as fantasy. I can see this to an extent, though if anything I can see this as spiritual or some other genre. I just thought this ended up being a little misleading to the reader because this doesn't have a lot of fantastical elements other than the part about the soul of the speaker. With that being said, I found this poem to be pretty minimalist. Only six lines long and we're not given a lot of substance, which is a complaint that I have.

The reader is left unsure of what the poem is actually intended to be about. Who is The Stranger? Why is The Stranger important? There's not enough depth here to know. Not enough clarity is here for the poem to be effective in getting a theme across. Why is The Stranger made known? What's here to stay, The Stranger or the dew to the speaker's soul? There's a lot of confusion because there are a lot of questions that are left unanswered, which leaves the reader unsatisfied. I also wanted to note that in the third line instead of the dash, I'd suggest a comma to give this a better flow.

Overall though, the largest problem here is that this fails to go in-depth. I'm not saying that the poem can't be short--it can. The content here is just too vague and blurry in the perspective of the reader. Remember that the audience doesn't know everything you know when editing and experimenting around with this, so work on that. The imagery here is still interesting and I like it, though make sure that the imagery you use actually goes towards something!

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! I hope I helped and have a great day.

Alright. So I am bvbAngel and I want to drop by to leave a review here. Welcome to YWS!!!

Okay so now to reviewing this. It was really good, I personally, at the end, I don't think it really ran smoothly together. Like it kind of sounded like it wad forced to fit there. But it is still good!

I feel that some will be able to relate with this. But really I'm.nit completely sure what this was about. As soon as I thought I knew what it wad about it said something to throw me off and keep me wondering what it wad talking about now.. Like I might be an idiot, but the end of this it says, "the stranger disclosed its here to stay", well I was thinking to myself, well what exactly is there to stay? The stranger? What? This entire poem I was list and confused. I didn't know what it was talking about honestly.

But even with that being said I feel this has some really good potential and I would love to see more work from you in the future!!! Keep writing!

~bvbAngel<3