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12+

Eyelash

by Sheyren


Author's Note: This isn't a serious poem, and the quality of it is about equal to my mood right now. Yes, this is a true story, and no, don't waste time thoroughly reviewing it. Unless you want to. Then by all means, go for it. You can even review this AN, if that's your style.

Eyelash

fell
into 

eye

Was in car
Rubbed eye

Hour later
Still in
Took tissue
Swiped eye

No luck

Will wait for sleep
Lash will dislodge

Eye burns

Send help


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Points: 442
Reviews: 3

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Tue Jul 18, 2017 4:37 am
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CoffeeCat says...



THIS LITERALLY HAPPENED TO ME YESTERDAY IN THE SUPERMARKET! I was wearing eye makeup and it was hell because I could't rub it too much and I was in public so I had to appear casual while this EYELASH OF PURE EVIL was burrowing into my eyeball and I was almost crying and *takes deep breath*.

Yeah.

Good poem, Shey.




Sheyren says...


XD Thanks! Luckily, I wasn't in a public place, and I don't wear makeup.



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25 Reviews


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Reviews: 25

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Mon Jul 17, 2017 9:03 am
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DarshayataDeka wrote a review...



This poem is so, so hilarious. Since its been some days since you published this poem, I assume your poor eye is hale and hearty now. Of all the awkward things which may happen to a person, yours is the funniest and rarest one I've read about. You wrote the poem well and made it easier for the reader to visualize the entire incident in front of his or her eyes and be able to relate to it, for, almost all of us have had numerous embarrassments in our life. I agree with Iridescence who says that using a spacing/format instead of the basic block format adds flavor to the poem and the "send help" line at the end is really nice. You did not use long, complicated words in the poem and kept it really simple, which added to its charm and made it somewhat more real. This amazing poem appealed a lot to me. It is a storehouse of humor, sarcasm and awkwardness. Simply loved it!




Sheyren says...


Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed!





You are welcome %uD83D%uDE0A



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14 Reviews


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Reviews: 14

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Mon Jul 17, 2017 6:51 am
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AlexOfLight says...



I think something got stuck in my eye now. Great poem by the way.




Sheyren says...


Thanks!



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31 Reviews


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Reviews: 31

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Sun Jul 16, 2017 5:04 pm
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PearlC10 says...



I sympathize so, so, much.




Sheyren says...


*sympathetic pat on back*



PearlC10 says...


*sympathetically pats your back, back*



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211 Reviews


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Reviews: 211

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Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:05 pm
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Iridescence wrote a review...



Hello! Irid here with a review.

Now I don't really know what to say in this review but this was pretty funny! I do like the spacing/format so it does add some flavor to it, instead of a basic block format. I also really like the "send help" line at the end. I do have a suggestion. I would maybe add more imagery to it to mke it more dramatic, yet in an ironic way. Just a duggestion, totally optional! Thank you for the read, and my apologies for the short review. I'd like to see some more poems like this!

-Iridescence




Sheyren says...


Thanks for the review!



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13 Reviews


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Sat Jul 15, 2017 5:07 pm
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AriannaC says...



-Calls leh 911- HALLPPP MUH FREND NEDS YO HALP!! LEH EYELESH IS EEEEVVVVVIIIILLLL!!!!! HANG IS THERE LEH SHEEEEEYYYYY!




Sheyren says...


*is morally supported*



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Sat Jul 15, 2017 3:22 am
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Ronnimusette says...



love!!!




Sheyren says...


Thank you!



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44 Reviews


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Sat Jul 15, 2017 12:14 am
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screamingsloth says...



THIS IS HILARIOUS LMAOOOOO I LOVE THIS

SHEY I WAS THE ONE WHO INSPIRED YOU TO MAKE THIS A PUBLISHED WORK

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH LIKE I'MMA BOOKMARK THIS AND SAVE IT WHEN I NEED A LAUGH

THIS MAKES ME WANNA WRITE ONE LIKE YOURS

I'M SORRY I AM SCREAMING IN CURSIVE AND ROLLING ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AT THIS :D :D :D

SHEYREN YOU ARE AMAZING FOR POSTING THIS




Sheyren says...


THANK YOU I'M GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT SO MUCH



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59 Reviews


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Fri Jul 14, 2017 3:26 am
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soundofmind wrote a review...



First of all,

I'm very sorry for your eye. I understand this pain, for I have experienced it before. It is not fun, especially when the lash gets, essentially, lodged into the corner of your eye for all eternity and no matter how much you poke around in there, it just gets further and further in. And sometimes even then, sleep does not grant you the sweet release that you ask for.

BUT! About the poem ; )

I appreciate the dramatic spacing. It's what makes the flow work so well, and what makes the joke so funny. That, and this is in poem form. If this were in sentences, it wouldn't be nearly as entertaining. Hence, the way in which you presented your ideas through poetry was key. ; )))

I appreciate the "send help." CLASSIC punchline (since like, 2013 or something, I'm terrible with years).

Best of luck with your eye,
soundofmind




Sheyren says...


Thanks for the review! Glad you enjoyed!

The eyelash did come out, by the way. ;)



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Fri Jul 14, 2017 12:48 am
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gxldencrxwns wrote a review...



Hello, Sheyren! Gxldencrxwns here for a review!

Okay, first off. This made me laugh harder than it should of. How the words are separated and entered the way it is was pretty funny. I don't have very much to say about it, I didn't see mistakes, but it seems weird without commas or periods. I know this is a joke and I won't point out every single thing in 100% seriousness, I just felt I had to say that.

Well, I don't have anything else to say about this, except that send help dead center in the middle at the end was a nice touch.

~gxldencrxwns




Sheyren says...


Thanks for the review! XD
I'm surprised anyone enjoyed this...




No man or woman who tries to pursue an ideal in his or her own way is without enemies.
— Daisy Bates