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An Unfulfilled Dream

by Aaraju


A blank sheet of paper. That’s the biggest fear for a writer. You just can’t find any inspiration to write. Your mind is blank and so is the paper. You think about topics to write about, you look around, observing the nature, the birds, the leaves, the rain, looking for inspirations. But you just cannot find anything. It’s been weeks and you’ve been writing, crumbling the paper and throwing it away. “Does this paragraph even make sense?” “Oh, the starting sounds amazing, okay, now what?” “Why am I even trying to write when I am terrible at this!”

You curse yourself. Throw your pen away and think that you weren’t meant to be a writer. The passion you had when you showed one of your articles to your teacher and she heartily praised your writing skills. When your essay won the first prize. The time when you read out a very emotional story to the class that you had written and the entire class was in tears. The time when a depressed friend of yours, got stirred, by reading your article, hugged you and said, ”Because of your article, I didn’t give up….”

You forget every accomplishment that encouraged you to become a writer and start thinking that maybe you aren’t just good enough. Maybe the guy, who used to tell you that you write stupid, was right. Maybe you should become a doctor, instead, like your dad said. You doubt your talent. You stop believing in yourself. You stop writing. And one more writer, who could give the world some of the greatest words of all time, dies.


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Sun Apr 30, 2017 11:59 pm
BlueAfrica wrote a review...



Well, that got depressing really quickly.

A blank sheet of paper.


A good opening line, but it didn't go at all the direction I imagined! A blank sheet of paper is my favorite thing as a writer! It's full of potential - you haven't written anything yet, so things aren't cruddy yet. It's once you've got some words on paper and realize how bad they are that the self-doubt creeps in, in my experience.

BUT ANYWAY, I think this was decent. You made good use of second-person narration, although what I would like to see from this is more dramatization. Show us that time you won a prize for writing! Show us what your teacher said when she liked your writing! You got a good start, but delving deeper into these experiences will make for a richer piece.




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Fri Apr 21, 2017 6:52 pm
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Feltrix wrote a review...



Hello! Normally at this point I'd give an introduction, but that is unnecessary seeing as everything you need to know about me can be found there.
<-----

I like the first two sentences, those work very well. For the rest of the first paragraph, you start to go into the deadly pitfall that comes with second person: assumptions. You say that the reader does things, which, instead of including the reader, can actually alienate them.

The same thing starts to happen in the second paragraph. This actually gets just a little confusing. I mean, I understand what you mean, and I think most people do, too. It's at a deadly level of confusingness where people don't point it out, because they understand it, but it very subtly lowers the quality of your work.

To combat all the second person assumptions, I'd use analogies. I think that analogies are your friend in this case, because they can come from anyone and they can convey the point you're trying to make very well.

I actually love the last paragraph. This is the pinnacle, the high point of your piece. The last sentence in particular is very profound. I'm not sure anything actually needs to be changed here, except possibly cutting the phrase "You doubt your talent." That's pretty much summed up in the rest of the paragraph, and it hides a subtle and dangerous assumption.

Basically, the first paragraph was pretty good, at the second I struggled a little, and the third was FANTASTIC. This needs a little tweaking, but I thought you did a great job.

Feltrix




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Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:11 am
skylnn00writes wrote a review...



Hey! Sky here at your request :smt001 Please remember these are all suggestions.

I'm not sure where to start. I have to say this is brilliant. It's just so true and pure and oh my god I felt like someone read my mind. So I will start by thanking you for writing this and helping writers understand they are not alone when they get hit with writers block.

Ok moving on, I think this was truly amazing. You asked me to be honest and here I am being honest as I can. I really have nothing to critique here.

One thing:

"you forget every accomplishment that encouraged you to become a writer and start thinking that maybe you aren't just good enough.

So it wasn't until I typed it in that I realized what you might have meant by this but it was still a confusing sentence. I understood it the first time as you saying "...start thinking that maybe you just aren't good enough." Then I thought maybe you meant "you forget every accomplishment that encouraged you to become a writer and begin to think good enough just isn't doing it." I might have written that one wrong, sorry. You might just want to review this sentence a bit as I find it a bit confusing.

So other than that it truly was flawless. It flowed really nicely, didn't include anything that was unnecessary, and it was relatable for the reader. You showed emotion without saying it and I commend you greatly for that. Good job :smt001 I hope this review is helpful.

~Sky




Aaraju says...


Thank you so much for your honest review. :)



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Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:06 pm
pkidchick wrote a review...



Ahhh, I love this!
You've totally captured the crazy emotions of a writer, simply by writing. Ironic as that may sound. Can I just - *sends virtual hug*

I'm trying not to get all mushy and gushy over here, because I am going to do a review, but this really got me. I hate it when people second guess themselves, I Hate It! This piece just goes to show we're all being stupid when we do that. We never know exactly who we may touch. But, moving on here...

Your first paragraph was perfectly fine, but I had a little bit of a problem with the second one. The beginning two sentences are going off the previous paragraph; we're angry and upset we can't write. Then, suddenly, we dive into the pros of writing, the passion, the praise, the love. ...Throw your pen away and think that you weren’t meant to be a writer. The passion you had when you showed one of your articles to your teacher and she heartily praised your writing skills. Those two sentences do not flow into each other. Did you mean to say something more along the lines of how we forget about that passion? It was, all in all, an awkward change of thought, and I suggest you fix it up a little. Maybe give us more hints of this passion/praise part, as you build up to it.

I like your picture. A lot. I actually might steal it. ;P But I fail to see why you stuck it in here. If this is an unfulfilled dream that the person did not end up accomplishing, and could never get past the blank piece of paper, why the non-blank piece here? You end the story with the person dying, and this picture kind of contradicts it with its Once upon a time.... Like something's beginning.

So those are my thoughts all out for you to see. Okay, so you did have a couple grammatical errors here and there, but it's nothing I'm going to freak out and wave my hands about. Overall, I genuinely liked this, and I hope to read more from you. Once more, thanks for sharing this with us!
cheers!
-TheKid




Aaraju says...


Thank you so much for the review. %uD83D%uDE01 In the second paragraph I just wanted to write that the writer had forgetten every accomplishment and listed out the things that inspired him to become one. Well, I guess I didn't put it that clearly.
I don't know what I was thinking while putting up the picture %uD83D%uDE02 So I deleted it. Or maybe it said something like 'once upon a time' there was a writer. Haha idk. Yeah, the writer inside him dies.
Thank you so much for the honest review.



pkidchick says...


You're welcome, I'm sorry if I seemed harsh in any way :O
Okay, then, so the writer in him dies. Whoops, for some reason I thought you were saying, the person died! XD



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Thu Apr 20, 2017 10:00 am
RavenBlack wrote a review...



*claps wildly*

THIS IS AMAZING AND SO RELATABLE!

I've been writing for three years now (i think) and I've thrown away so many pieces of failed work that sometimes I feel like giving up. I've always compare myself to others: "Why can't my work be like hers/his" "Why am I even bothering with this?" I thought I was the only one that felt this way so thank you for writing this and making me realize that I'm not alone. :-D

I love the use of rhetorical questions, I automatically started asking myself the same questions, remembering all the times I said the same words to myself.

Also the use of the short sentences was a great way to implement specific lines in my head. "A blank sheet of paper. That’s the biggest fear for a writer." I found myself agreeing with each line.

The use of personal pronouns made this very personal (sorry for using the word twice couldn't think of a different one xD) which made me engage with it more.

The length of the article was also genius. It wasn't too long and was the perfect length to imitate a conversation with one's self. Well done.

Keep Writing!




Aaraju says...


Thank you so much. I smiled all the way as I read your review. I'm so glad that you found it relatable. And, just remember, we all have a writer's block, we all experience times when we can't spill the exact feelings on the paper. But that's okay. Keep on writing! Good luck.



RavenBlack says...


Thanks for the empowering words and advice and again great piece :-)



Feltrix says...


It saddens me when a writer stops writing, not just because of the lost possibilities, but because writing is more a process than an activity. It's an endless cycle of creation and destruction, and a book can never really be completed. It can be (and often is) discouraging, but that's just part of the cycle.



RavenBlack says...


I agree. But I think we have to go through the trials and failures to improve, even though it may take a long time.




If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
— Henry David Thoreau, "Walden"