Young Writers Society

I wish you would post more often. You are truly an amazing and impactful writer. In fact, out of all of your forms of writing I've read, and there are a lot, I feel like poetry is where you allow your heart to pour out the most. This all comes so naturally to you, I hope you never give up on this gift. I mean, I fall in love with all of your work. ALL OF IT. Reading each of your poems, short stories, and novels over the years has been amazing. But most of all, watching you grow so much as both a writer and a person has been a blessing. Just keep writing. I don't care what mood you're in, what you've been up to, what's going on in your life, just write about it. You have a gift that very few individuals truly possess. Don't give up on that. EVER. I mean that!

- Oh, and I need your help with editing again

P.S: I know you will be a famous author one day!

TEEEARS WELLING UP IN EYES! DO NOOOOOT DO THIS TO ME, MISSY. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN, YOUNG LADY! I KNOW YOU HAVE HAPPINESS IN YOU! DON'T YOU DARE MAKE ME CRY! I mean this in the best possible way Help me with my poetry, pleeeeease. By the way, Regime 91 is taking forever. Iswear it may be the DEEEATH of me. Okay, I'm done ranting. Bye!! I'll talk to you later

TEEEARS WELLING UP IN EYES! DO NOOOOOT DO THIS TO ME, MISSY. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN, YOUNG LADY! I KNOW YOU HAVE HAPPINESS IN YOU! DON'T YOU DARE MAKE ME CRY! I mean this in the best possible way Help me with my poetry, pleeeeease. By the way, Regime 91 is taking forever. Iswear it may be the DEEEATH of me. Okay, I'm done ranting. Bye!! I'll talk to you later

Hello,

I cannot really comment on the poem aesthetically, as you appear to be a much more direct poet than I. I tend to bury what I'm saying in symbols and allusions, as that is what I find most beautiful about poetry. Your poem, however, has a much less baroque aesthetic, so I won't criticize its lack of metaphor or symbolic imagery.

The formula you create for each stanza is consistent, which can be a positive and a negative. In your case, it ties your poem to a single theme, your experience with abuse and depression. It also prevents you from extrapolating. While this is not inherently negative, you might consider deviating from such a rigid thematic formula in future poems in order to allow for some amount of exploration.

As far as any specific issue goes, you use "that blade" in one of your lines, which implies that it is a particular blade. Because it is a reference to a personal object, it would be better to say "the blade."

I believe your poem achieves what it set out to do. That is, it releases your pain in a literary format. In that way it is successful. If you're looking to explore the craft more, however, I would suggest trying to make your statements a tad more dense. The poem is the painting of literature. You're trying to communicate in a very condensed medium. I'd be excited more from you. Good job.

Oh darling, you are too young to be this sad. I'm sorry that you have to feel this way, but I know it will pass away. Keep going with writing. It is our escape.