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Anger

by Midnightmoon


It’s like a deep and bitter well,

The water unwanted, sad that it is,

Everyone knows this well, it lives inside us,

Waiting patiently, till either it overflows,

Or we drink the bitter water.

It often leads us to do things that we regret.

Controlling the well is hard, but it can be done.

The temptation to drink it’s water is hard to resist.

What well is this? That is so dangerous and bitter?

The name, is Anger.


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5 Reviews


Points: 491
Reviews: 5

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Tue Mar 21, 2017 7:12 pm
theknight says...



this is such a good peice of poetry so heart warming and yet so true.
the last to lines "What well is this? That is so dangerous and bitter?
The name, is Anger." is so effective.
i love this poem and look forward to seeing more like this.




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5 Reviews


Points: 491
Reviews: 5

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Tue Mar 21, 2017 7:12 pm
theknight says...



this is such a good peice of poetry so heart warming and yet so true.
the last to lines "What well is this? That is so dangerous and bitter?
The name, is Anger." is so effective.
i love this poem and look forward to seeing more like this.




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62 Reviews


Points: 858
Reviews: 62

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Tue Mar 21, 2017 2:49 pm
ZeldaIsShiek wrote a review...



Hey everyone, ZeldaIsShiek (SPOILERS! XD) here for another review on realistic poetry! I'm going to try to be original in my analysis of this poem, but it's going to be hard as so many YWS-ers have already reviewed this poem. I hope my review can help you fix the mistakes you made and cherish the things (I think) you did right. Without further ado, let's begin!

Your poem really made sense to me. I'm not sure why you said it is awkward, and I would not being trying to make it awkward if you had not put that in your description, making it awkward. Though I don't usually do the negative comments first, I think this time I'll get them out of the way early.

Despite the wonderful theme and application, I do believe that there were a few "errors" that personally broke the immersion of the poem for me. One of these "errors" (in my opinion) is that it is so short. I also think that putting the name of the poem's subject being anger just breaks from the immersion, as it is already stated in the title. Though a minor error, another thing that broke from the immersion was using 'It's' as 'its'.

That's all for the bad! Now let's get into what I thought was stupendous about your poem! I personally thought that this is one of the best poems centered around anger I have read. Though maybe not the longest, I think your poem was very good and that it was definitely worth reviewing. I liked how you emphasized that the choice was yours if you decided to let the anger consume you or not. This hit close to home for me, actually, because I used to have anger issues but now I choose not too. I used to take medicine for it, but after I stopped, my anger actually improved because I had matured enough to understand that no one else can make you angry and that anger is something that you can absolutely control by yourself without any help from anyone.

That's all. Sorry for the LOOOOONNNNGGGGG review. See ya later!

-ZeldaIsShiek




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282 Reviews


Points: 58599
Reviews: 282

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Mon Mar 20, 2017 11:22 pm
EternalRain wrote a review...



Hey Mockingjay!

Poems about emotions are always get because the readers are able to have an instant connection with the poem. Everyone gets angry; anger is inside everyone. So I like how this is able to relate to everyone reading the poem, even the happiest of people.

I like the metaphor of the well a lot. However, I feel like the last line kind of took away from the experience? With a little thinking, it can be found out that the "well" is anger - or at least some emotion - and maybe instead of outright telling the readers the "answer" to the metaphor, you could omit that line completely (and the one above it) or even add more to the poem if you feel it's not sufficient it letting the reader now what the well is.

An idea of what you can do (and this is just a suggestion) could be adding in a little story about someone who drank the well's water or tried controlling it and ended up spilling water everywhere or something like that. Just an idea on how to extend the metaphor a bit farther.

As for awkwardness/lines/those things:

The water unwanted, sad that it is,


This line feels a little awkward and I think it may have to do with the "sad that it is". It just sounds a bit off, especially combined with the other lines.

Waiting patiently, till either it overflows,


"Waiting patiently" seems a bit underdeveloped - I'm not sure who is actually waiting patiently - the anger/well? I think that's what it is but maybe elaborating on this a *tiny* bit could work out.

I think that's it! What a nice poem - I really did enjoy the metaphor in this. Have a nice day<3!

~EternalRain




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Points: 35
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Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:16 pm
yearsofpain wrote a review...



WHAT I UNDERSTOOD (#1 review!)

"It’s like a deep and bitter well,

The water unwanted, sad that it is"

Something very prevailing is very upsetting. We pray it doesn't struck us.

"Everyone knows this well, it lives inside us,

Waiting patiently, till either it overflows,

Or we drink the bitter water."

This is a common feeling in people, meaning everyone has it, much like a demon. It is inside each one of us, for some it is more subtle. As time passes, it grows inside of us. Sometimes it grows so much that it can be damaging, be it to oneself or to our surroundings. Either way, it's much unwanted.

"Controlling the well is hard, but it can be done.

The temptation to drink *its* water is hard to resist."

Not everyone has an inborn strong will. One must master it and it is in no way impossible. It is tempting to give into our demons, or in this case, anger -though it is not yet revealed- and that is exactly why it needs practice to master. It requires strong will.

"What well is this? That is so dangerous and bitter?

The name, is Anger."

In the end, it is revealed that this "well" is anger.

MY THOUGHTS

I enjoyed reading this poem. It is quite extraordinary, I must say. Then again, what do I know about poems? You can consider this as the average reader's perspective. Even though it is revealed in the title, the last sentence is a very strong, unpredicted ending. PS: It rhymes too. Anyhow, thank you for sharing this.




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Points: 35
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Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:13 pm
yearsofpain says...



WHAT I UNDERSTOOD (#1 review!)

"It’s like a deep and bitter well,

The water unwanted, sad that it is"

Something very prevailing is very upsetting. We pray it doesn't struck us.

"Everyone knows this well, it lives inside us,

Waiting patiently, till either it overflows,

Or we drink the bitter water."

This is a common feeling in people, meaning everyone has it, much like a demon. It is inside each one of us, for some it is more subtle. As time passes, it grows inside of us. Sometimes it grows so much that it can be damaging, be it to oneself or to our surroundings. Either way, it's much unwanted.

"Controlling the well is hard, but it can be done.

The temptation to drink *its* water is hard to resist."

Not everyone has an inborn strong will. One must master it and it is in no way impossible. It is tempting to give into our demons, or in this case, anger -though it is not yet revealed- and that is exactly why it needs practice to master. It requires strong will.

"What well is this? That is so dangerous and bitter?

The name, is Anger."

In the end, it is revealed that this "well" is anger.

MY THOUGHTS

I enjoyed reading this poem. It is quite extraordinary, I must say. Then again, what do I know about poems? You can consider this as the average reader's perspective. Even though it is revealed in the title, the last sentence is a very strong, unpredicted ending. PS: It rhymes too. Anyhow, thank you for sharing this.





As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.
— Andrew Carnegie