Young Writers Society

Ah the seemingly perfect life that everyone wants.The colorful gems are that sparkle,easy access to everything anyone could ever want.No one thinks to look past the face of perfection.No one thinks that the royals feel anything.But they do.They’re just people with more things than most.Just regular people who got lucky.They’re just like us.Just.like.us.I hope that you will have an amazing day and night.

Hi there, @Queenie! I'm here to review your poem today. ^^

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to this. Real Life caught up with me, but I'm here now so lemme take a good look!

First off, I like the imagery you're going for here but it feels like it fell a little short. I'm not sure if it's the pacing or the rhythm or your word choice, but something doesn't quite work here. Regardless, I do like it. I do suggest using punctuation, though. It might help people reading the poem to follow it better. I found myself tripping up a little bit because I wasn't sure where the pauses and whatnot were. You might find these to be clearer to your readers if you decide to include punctuation. It's not needed but it's helps. ^^

I think my issues is with these two stanzas;

Forced to live a life in public eye

Royals just puppets on silver string

Controlled by the covetous

Ruled with eloquence

~

Never to be given any choices

Mustn't let their picture of perfection fade

Never to expose any emotions

Mustn’t ever let their masks of steel dissipate

Hey, Queenie. It's ScytheMeister here for a quick review!

First of all, I'm somewhat interested in this topic. Whilst reading, I had slight conflicting emotions; I believe what you are trying to portray is that royalty is sometimes glorified by its riches and status, but to someone on the inside (e.g. a royal person themselves) they realise that having 'everything' is not all that it's cracked up to be. Whilst I agree that on some terms, there are far too many expectations and responsibilities placed onto people in a position as such, I also believe that its the oldest trick in the book to write about someone with this kind of mindset. And when people do write about a 'defiant royal' I do not feel they go into too much detail. All (well, mostly) that is said is about the abundance of riches but the absence of own will and actual friendship.

Writers go into so much detail on the riches, briefly comment on the relationships before the protagonist gets the happy ending, etc.

Not only that, but no one appreciates that royalty does have more will than what is portrayed however there are expectations that pressure them into believing they don't. I would like to see a story or a poem highlight the conflict between two people, e.g. a younger royal and an older (mother and daughter, perhaps).

It was wonderful nonetheless. I loved it (please excuse the above rant)

Although I stick to my position on the story of the poem itself, I adored your writing! It was truly beautiful. I loved this section:

"Royals just puppets on silver string

Controlled by the covetous

Ruled with eloquence."


Lastly, I just have to pick up on this part at the end:

"Electing to secure my freedom

Electing to stay true."

You use repetition on "Electing" which may (or may not be) intentional. I had the impression that it perhaps referred to the current situation of British ruling, in which a Priminster is elected into power. A line before this you also wrote "Let the cruel crown burn", which in some ways reinforces that idea. Although the monarchy in the UK is not completely powerless, it no longer has the powers it used to. And when you say 'cruel' it could be interpreted from the times when the monarchy mistreated the poor. Perhaps it is not even a referral to England, but to another country. Nonetheless, it would be great imagery and I adore the idea.

Great Job! I loved this piece.

Keep writing! <3

- ScytheMeister

Wow! This was a powerful poem you wrote about the stress of being a queen.

But there are some problems. Like here

Forced to live a life in public eye

Royals just puppets on silver string

The urge to renounce my title

To relinquish my skills of an eccedentesiast

To liberate myself from the maddening labyrinth of deception

Multiplied tenfold