Hey Dime666, here for a Review Day review,
Positives:The over all piece feels consistent and sticks to its nature, a bit edgy here and there and overall with this "wicked" looming over it, but still focusing on the relationship just as your main subject is.
You're not evil you're just a human
My equation´s perfect solution
Good statement, whether you take it realistically, politically or just as another human, we can all agree with it, and therefore it means that someone can draw something of value from your poem here.
Negatives:
The silence kills me
Your voice chills me
He would hate me
The one who helped create me
I don't very much enjoy the repetition of using "me" so much. It gets old and drags your piece down a few notches on my scale.
[quote]And you're beautiful mind thoughtless
There are also a lot of points like this where the wording doesn't quite seem to be complete. "Your beautiful mind IS thoughtless?" Not sure exactly what you want me to read, because you haven't quite written it in fully yet.
I give it:
Points: 6987
Reviews: 117
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