Hey there! I'm here for a quick review.
I really liked this. It's a pretty well-written story, and I like how it makes use of the dandelion being a weed and how it spins the story around that. It isn't a dialogue-heavy story and definitely feels like the sort of thing an old storyteller would tell, but it's easy to read and I still connect with the characters despite most of it being just 'telling.'
The main thing I think you could improve here is your pacing - there are just small ways you could milk this to its fullest extent. I think you should spend a fair bit more time with the Tulip, let us get to know her a bit instead just saying she died too. Take us through that second death and the horror as the dandelion realizes that she can't grow closer to anyone.
Same with the dandelions death. Don't summarize it, and don't shift out of her viewpoint to tell her death. Let us feel her terror - you don't have to get graphic, but something as simple as saying "the creature seized her around the middle and pulled. Everything went black" would feel more final and sad. After that, you can say something about this being what happens to every dandelion, but keep it short - the story has already effectively ended at that point.
Your prose could also be tightened a little bit. You tend to use the same sentence structure - short sentences with just one clause. This is good for readability, but it becomes stale after a while, and sometimes you have awkward clauses or small grammatical errors. A proofread should fix those small things.
Their conversations went on like this for many seasons and the two flowers grew close friends. The rose grew even more beautiful as the days passed then she like the dandelion lost her petals.Even during these times they shared their love. Secretly to the dandelion that was not enough again. She was grateful for her company, but now wants to feel the embrace of her friend. She tried to stretch out her petals, but they were not long enough and she could not reach. She also tried her leaves, but it was the same.
This paragraph is a good example of the repetitive sentence structure. Here, when you're showing the dandelion's emotions, try to tell it using more evocative language. You also have a few grammatical things - "not enough again" doesn't make sense, and it should be "but now she wanted" instead of "but now she wants."
And that's all I can think of! Good luck with this, and keep writing!
Points: 90000
Reviews: 1085
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