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16+ Violence Mature Content

Prologue

by CharlotteIsla


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.

War was coming. We could all feel it down to our claws. The rumors had been escalating like wildfire for weeks. Different packs were travelling, settling accords and protection. When we had higher enemies wanting to cross our borders, the old banter of possession amongst ourselves was unimportant. The enemy, when they came, always wanted our land, our females, our pups because their packs were dying off or they wanted to become bigger and better.

It was why I had set off running. Being a female who had just left her adolescence and who was still unmated posed a danger. I had grown up with stories, of packs that would invade lands and take the females, if they were their mates or not. There were a few that didn’t follow the traditions, the nature of it. Once a female was marked, regardless who her mate was, any linking bonds to him would be dissolved, become nonexistent. If the female already knew her mate, it was torturous for her and many ended their lives afterwards. The males, however, would sometimes meet their mates and keep the two. The lesser female always in the background, always placed last.

I would die before that happened to me. My pack no longer had males that were in adulthood and unmated. I knew that my mate would be elsewhere as my five sisters took many of the best wolves in our pack. Being cursed as the youngest, my outcome wouldn’t be so easy as it were for them. When the rumors hit home, I worried for weeks. My parents tried to calm me down, my father would take me to his meetings where I would look upon every male and wait for that tilt, for that shock, and want. Nothing. There was nothing.

So I set off to circle every territory in hopes that if my mate caught my scent, he would look for me and find me. I had been at it for weeks, in my wolf form and alone. I missed running with the pack and I knew how dangerous it was, but I would take the possibilities. Worse than dead was being forced to carry someone else’s pups. Pups that shouldn’t even be born in the first place out of the bonds of matehood.

I wasn’t the only one out. I caught the scent of many females during my territory runs, but I never got too close in case our scents mingled and ruined our chances to find our mates. The burning in my stomach was desperation, need, and most of all fear. My wolf felt it. As she stopped to look up at the waned moon, she howled loudly, sniffing the warm and humid air of the woods. There was only silence that followed and emptiness in my chest, where a bond should be. 


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Fri Jun 11, 2021 4:40 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: On first glance, this seems like it could make for a pretty good first chapter honestly, I don't quite see how this needs to be a prologue, unless of course we start at some other point in the story itself. But oh well...this was still pretty interesting to read.

Anyway let's get right to it,

War was coming. We could all feel it down to our claws. The rumors had been escalating like wildfire for weeks. Different packs were travelling, settling accords and protection. When we had higher enemies wanting to cross our borders, the old banter of possession amongst ourselves was unimportant. The enemy, when they came, always wanted our land, our females, our pups because their packs were dying off or they wanted to become bigger and better.


Well, this is certainly sounding very interesting there in the background. Its very subtle but the way that claws and cubs are mentioned really makes it seem like whoever is the narrator here isn't actually a human, and perhaps is some sort of wolf judging by those words which is an interesting touch. And of course the fact that war is mentioned and how it can be horrible is also mentioned, so well certainly an intriguing start to this prologue.

It was why I had set off running. Being a female who had just left her adolescence and who was still unmated posed a danger. I had grown up with stories, of packs that would invade lands and take the females, if they were their mates or not. There were a few that didn’t follow the traditions, the nature of it. Once a female was marked, regardless who her mate was, any linking bonds to him would be dissolved, become nonexistent. If the female already knew her mate, it was torturous for her and many ended their lives afterwards. The males, however, would sometimes meet their mates and keep the two. The lesser female always in the background, always placed last.


Hmm, well that seems like a lot of interesting dynamics there, it feels like a bit of a mouthful of exposition to stuff into a prologue, to be honest, but I think its not too terrible here, especially if it helps us understand why this person is running for their lives...although I would suggest perhaps trying to make this a little shorter just to make it a little bit less of a mouthful here.

I would die before that happened to me. My pack no longer had males that were in adulthood and unmated. I knew that my mate would be elsewhere as my five sisters took many of the best wolves in our pack. Being cursed as the youngest, my outcome wouldn’t be so easy as it were for them. When the rumors hit home, I worried for weeks. My parents tried to calm me down, my father would take me to his meetings where I would look upon every male and wait for that tilt, for that shock, and want. Nothing. There was nothing.


Hmm, well this is certainly very interesting there, building up quite a bit of a backstory at any rate there, and this mating process also seems quite interesting how its just something they appear to be doing in order to survive rather than out of anything else....or at least the way things are going at the moment, that's what it appears to be...well let's see what happens next here.

So I set off to circle every territory in hopes that if my mate caught my scent, he would look for me and find me. I had been at it for weeks, in my wolf form and alone. I missed running with the pack and I knew how dangerous it was, but I would take the possibilities. Worse than dead was being forced to carry someone else’s pups. Pups that shouldn’t even be born in the first place out of the bonds of matehood.


Well this makes a certain amount of sense there, especially the last part, about how such a fate could be worse than death is certainly you can understand although running amok in the wild searching for a mate does seem like a bit of a stretch there...at any rate...you have established the stakes at least...and that's great.

I wasn’t the only one out. I caught the scent of many females during my territory runs, but I never got too close in case our scents mingled and ruined our chances to find our mates. The burning in my stomach was desperation, need, and most of all fear. My wolf felt it. As she stopped to look up at the waned moon, she howled loudly, sniffing the warm and humid air of the woods. There was only silence that followed and emptiness in my chest, where a bond should be.


Hmm, well judging by how those last couple of paragraphs spelled things out, we're talking about werewolves here and not just regular wolves...which well I've run into ridiculous amounts of stories with those...but hmm...I do think this feels somewhat different to that and the fact that females doing this is apparently a fairly common occurrence when war is near is a pretty interesting detail to throw in there. And well, this is a pretty decent ending as far as prologue go here.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, it was a pretty decent little story that you've got right here. I did enjoy the read and it certainly was intriguing enough for me to want to find out more and read on further so...it does do its job as a prologue fairly well.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Tue Apr 19, 2016 7:16 pm
Charm wrote a review...



Hey! I'm here to review your prologue!

Immediately I was happy with the length. I prefer shorter chapters and prologues just because it's easier to pause and come back and continue reading. :)
The first paragraph made me really interested in what was coming.

It was why I had set off running. Being a female who had just left her adolescence and who was still unmated, posed a danger.

The way you started this makes me feel like this is the introduction which is not what a prologue is. Perhaps do some research on what a prologue is. A prologue is the story before the story that affects the ending of the novel. For example it could be a scene with the bad guy talking to one of his people announcing the attack on a city. Honestly I feel like you could add this to the first chapter and just put a break in between.

I hope this review was helpful,
Alice




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Tue Apr 19, 2016 11:08 am
Arzoo wrote a review...



Good work, bravo!

Glad to be the first reviewer on your work. To start with, you have very well described the whole scene. Overall it seems good but it isn't as eye-catching as it should be (or may be it is just me seeing it that way).

Good luck!
-Arzoo:)





"Be yourself" is not advice. It's an existential crisis waiting to happen.
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