The Letters I Never Wrote (Introduction/Prologue page)

Chapter 1.1:Introduction

The Letters I Never Wrote

"The key to my heart belongs to a girl I will probably never see again, this is the story of my greatest mistake"

The Enemy.

It's hard to put into words what you really mean to me, because somewhere out there you're probably living your life; unbeknown to the ache I feel in my heart whenever I think of you.

I can't recall how long it's been since I last saw your face, and you looked into my eyes and said:

I think I'm in love with you.
- Clara

Everyday I struggle to see the beauty in the world; as I let the most beautiful thing slip away from me, I crossed an ocean, you stood still, and I let you.

For me to really let you know how I feel I should probably write the letter I was planning to all of those years ago, but never did.

But first let me just say:

No matter where you are in the world, you are with me, always.
You are my light, and I should have said it years ago, but I love you too.
- Tyler

I'll go back to the very beginning.

And the very first moment I met you.

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Reviews: 78

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Sat Jun 19, 2021 2:11 pm

NivedaJames22 wrote a review...

Hey Enemy!

First of all, I have to say that this is an interesting and heart-touching concept. The title is enticing, and makes you want to read the chapter.

One thing that I noticed is that the entire prologue could use some more organization, as it seems a little confusing on the first read. This just my opinion, and I'm sorry if this offends you any manner.

"The key to my heart belongs to a girl I will probably never see again, this is the story of my greatest mistake"

This is a heart-wrenching and dramatic opening line for the prologue. It hooks the reader completely. Great opening!

The part that I find a little confusing is where you say "Clara" and "Tyler" over here:

I think I'm in love with you.
- Clara

No matter where you are in the world, you are with me, always.
You are my light, and I should have said it years ago, but I love you too.

- Tyler

From the format of the chapter, I think it's a first-person narrative. That's why I'm a little confused about why you say Clara and Tyler, because one of them has to be narrating the story right? If this is a mistake on my part, I apologize.

The rest of the prologue is really sweet, sad, and touching, and hints at some sort of separation between two people who were involved in a romantic relationship. It's intriguing, and sort of pulls the reader into reading the next chapter.

On the whole, it sounds like a great prologue, and I would definitely check out the next chapter. I think maybe it could use a little re-structuring, as it is a little confusing in the present form. Once again, I'm sorry if something I said offends you. Can't wait to read the next chapter.

Keep writing <3

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Sat Jun 19, 2021 8:46 am

KateHardy wrote a review...

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Hmm, well this is an interesting little prologue, it does need to be a little more ironed out however, on first glance this is a touch confusing to try and figure out exactly what's happening here.

Anyway let's get right to it,

"The key to my heart belongs to a girl I will probably never see again, this is the story of my greatest mistake"

The Enemy.

Okay...wow, well quite a dramatic and pretty sad sounding statement to start things off on. Looks like this is going to be some sort of story regarding what could've been and what wasn't at least judging from the title, and this start here certainly seems to be reinforcing that theory for the moment. Well, certainly gets your attention, this one.

It's hard to put into words what you really mean to me, because somewhere out there you're probably living your life; unbeknown to the ache I feel in my heart whenever I think of you.

I can't recall how long it's been since I last saw your face, and you looked into my eyes and said:

Ahh, well this is one is tapping into the old emotions quite fast here, stories involving things like this being slowly forgotten across time happen to be my weak spot for the moment...and ahh, looks like this one is a textbook case of that. The message that you're getting across with those two lines certainly seem to indicate something to do with missed opportunity that's now haunting this person here.

Everyday I struggle to see the beauty in the world; as I let the most beautiful thing slip away from me, I crossed an ocean, you stood still, and I let you.

For me to really let you know how I feel I should probably write the letter I was planning to all of those years ago, but never did.

Hmm, well this is the other person involved and I suppose and I guess this is sorta showing how both sides are disappointed at not having acted when they should've and well...this almost seems like this is meant to be a bit of a conversation back and forth in some sense, either that or its supposed to be letters that they did end up saying at some point?

I'll go back to the very beginning.

And the very first moment I met you.

Okay....so this is almost indicating that perhaps this story is set in a time when these two first met and will show their relationship unfolding until it gets to whatever this point is...interesting idea to put in a prologue there...but...the earlier bits do confuse me a little to exactly what they are, that part needs a bit of sorting out.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, a pretty decent prologue here, and it certainly sounds like it could make for quite an interesting story. Anyway, that's about all I've gotta say for now.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

Points: 32055
Reviews: 1162

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Sun Aug 02, 2015 7:36 pm

Carlito wrote a review...

Hey! Here as requested

I didn't read any of the other reviews, so sorry in advance if I repeat something!

Technically, all of this is very nicely written. It's short, sweet, and to the point. I thought you captured the emotion of a relatively common thing well, and you have nice style and use of language.

There were a couple of little things that bothered me:

Everyday I struggle to see the beauty in the world; as I let the most beautiful thing slip away from me, I crossed an ocean, you stood still, and I let you.

I thought this sentence was long and wordy and hard to read with the semi-colon and then all of the commas. I think you could break it into two sentences and achieve the same affect.

I think I'm in love with you.

- Clara

and

No matter where you are in the world, you are with me, always.

You are my light, and I should have said it years ago, but I love you too.

- Tyler

I've never seen dialogue done this way, and it confused me at first. I thought the formatting was weird (which could be a YWS thing... it does weird formatting things to me all the time), and I didn't realize it was dialogue until the second or third re-through.

Big picture wise, I'm not convinced it's necessary. I'm personally not a big fan of prologues because don't want the story set up, I just want to get into the story. I don't feel anything here because I have no context. I'm not sure who the main players are and why I should care about them (other than the fact that one of them is heart-broken which is a common human experience).

Now, if you really don't like the idea of taking this out because losing the retrospective aspect at the beginning would affect how the story is told or something, you don't have to take it out entirely. One of my favorite books - Stolen by Lucy Christopher, does something like this. If you're not familiar with the book, it's about a girl that's kidnapped at an airport and taken to middle of nowhere Australia. The book is written as a letter to her captor after she's been released. So it's written in such a way that all of the characters know what's going to happen, but the reader doesn't. (Not sure if that makes sense

) In this case, it could be a paragraph or something in the first real chapter that a breakup or something happened and this is retrospective (obviously much prettier than that...) or give the reader some clues in the first chapter that this is being told retrospectively and the relationship doesn't have a happy ending.

Or, you can forget about the retrospective aspect all together and start when things get interesting (which it sounds like will be the next chapter - when they meet). You can build up the relationship and tell things in chronological order and allow the reader to really fall in love right along your MCs and then savagely crush your reader's heart when the couple doesn't work out :p

I'll leave things there and move on to the next part!

Let me know if you have any questions or if anything I said was confusing!

Points: 4842
Reviews: 39

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Sat Aug 01, 2015 9:37 pm

ClackFlip wrote a review...

Hi! Welcome to YWS! I hope your having a good and fun time. Let's review your work!

I'm not going to go into too much detail here, seeing as there's not much to say things about. Your prose is solid and understandable. There aren't any problems with your plot so far.
The only thing I can think of is your style, which I'm not sure if I like. It's kind of confusing to be honest and the shifts, while well handled from your part, jarred me a little bit.
But, again, it's not so jarring I dislike it. Just so much so that it makes me cock my head and wonder "What?"
Uh...
Hehe.
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. It's a good story. Bye!

Points: 496
Reviews: 9

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Sat Aug 01, 2015 3:11 am

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DarkDewDrops wrote a review...

Hey Again!

I just read Chapter One of this, and then went back and found this.
I love the way the next chapter flows out of this. It is really beautiful.
I wanted also to say to you what you may or may not have heard a billion times since she left. Or, since you let her... I guess I'll wait and see.
However.
It is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all.
And maybe you don't believe that.
I know it took me a long time to feel that way.
But if you let it, it can mean a lot more to you than what it seems to be telling us on its surface.
But back to your story-
The poetic way in which you tell so much with so little is so fascinating to me. This piece was very well written and I can tell that it came from your heart and soul, written through grief and pain and sorrow. I only hope for you that out of this all will come a new sense of happiness, somehow, someway.
And I hope that in the end, this character will be facing a life full of wonderful opportunities, but until then, I much anticipate following him through his past relationship with Clara and his new relationship with himself.

-DarkDewDrops

Points: 610
Reviews: 89

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Sat Aug 01, 2015 12:11 am

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Annaclare wrote a review...

Hey hey!

So, I think I've already said this but welcome to YWS! You have requested me to read your piece and to be honest I am so happy I read this! When you told me that this was based on a true story my heart sorta just crumbled. I really like the feeling of this letter, and I think this letter was one of the most soncere things i have ever read.

So, onto the actual review. You have so much feeling in this piece, and whether you meant this to be something so so err and deep or it, that is what I got from it. While this letter was written for someone very special to you, I think that this can relate to a lot of people going through the type of feeling you are.

My vibe is that you feel like you let her slip away. Now, I just a reader, I don't know your sorry or everything you have gone through, but I'm really sorry about this. I know it sucks to let someone slip away, and realize you need them.

Overall, you have me hooked. I would love to read more! And you can count on me to read more! You have an insane amount of talent and it really shows through this letter. I can't wat to read more of your works, and I will defiendlty read more of yor story !

Enjoy this site! It's really does have a lot to offer .

Stay classy and write on.

-Annaclare

Points: 220
Reviews: 1081

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Fri Jul 31, 2015 7:31 pm

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Virgil wrote a review...

I like the prologue is in letters, it's very short and sweet to begin the story, anyone can pick it up and read the prologue easily, I like that, people won't really skip it, because its not a million pages long, look, I usually hate prologues, but when they're unique, very well done.

They also make me think of what's to come, what's going to happen in the actual story, I like how you're not giving too much away, sure I'm confused about what's going to happen, but I have a feeling I will get some clarity. It's kind of blurry, which I like and dislike, because I don't know what's to happen because you're not giving it all away, but it's nice like that.

So the girl in the story doesn't know what you or the character is going through. May I ask, is this a real life based story?

So this is the story about your/the character's greatest mistake, and that hooks us in, makes us want to read more. Now, I'm not big into romance, but I have a feeling I'll really like this story, because I feel like I can relate already.

So, I just figured out this is a real life story, and now it means so much more. I feel the emotions put into the quote. And now I hope for the girl to see this.

I started the last 3 paragraphs with so and I don't know why xD.

I really like this beginning, and I feel the emotions and just, mwah'. Like for you

Good day!