Young Writers Society

Uh.....I don't really think I'll convert either. Why don't you join my religion? My buddy made it up, so I only know who one of the gods is. We worship Shrek, Bob Duncan, Chin Chin, and about two hundred others. The religion is called Duncanism. This was a pretty funny poem, but there wasn't much format. Also, there was no rhyme or rhythm whatsoever to it. You may want to revise this poem. Other than that, it was ok. Remember: Join the Dark Church of Bob Duncan!

I understand how people would find this offensive, but I thought it was silly and amusing. It doesn't come off to me as actually making fun of things from a judgmental point of of view, like "all people of this one religion are horrible because I don't believe in it" I'm very confused by all religions, or cults, or sects, or spirituality. Not because I think it's stupid but because I've seen a lot of people convert to certain religions without truly believing, just because they wanted something to belong to and "It must be true! It's in the Bible and my aunt says so.." or something to that extent. #2 really made me giggle, as did #5 .

haha, I like number 6 and 7.
The problem for me is, religions are beliefs that circle around god/s or deities (which counts Buddhism out). Which means that this isn't a religion. It's more of a 'way of life'- like recycling, or vegetarianism.
The reason that these weird (well, weird to US, the outsiders) customs are formed within religions are because of REASONS. For example, the reasons that practicers of Hinduism don't eat beef is because cows are sacred animals in their religion. the reason that some people live in simple homes, by choice, is that for them, to achieve enlightenment etc, they need to minimize their need for the material world.
SO, since your thing didn't count as a religion by any accounts, there's a pretty major flaw. But, without reading too much into it, I got quite a laugh out of the concept. So good job, actually. Awesome..
keep at it!
~Sat

I like the 5th one!!!

You are a crazy person, you know that.... xD

I might have found this funny if it wasn't quite so religiously offensive. Perhaps you didn't mean this, but a few sticking points for me:

Buddhism and Hinduism—sorry, "Hinuism"—are quite different—for one, Buddhism isn't even technically a "religion", as it doesn't revere a god but instead seeks to achieve a way of life and transcend the mortal plane on which we reside. Hinduism, on the other hand, is a polytheistic religion founded on the Indian subcontinent. Both have a similar origin point, and both are considered modern-day religions, however, it's a severe misconception to lump them together under one "umbrella" term.

You continue on to "found" "Indashuism", which even if you didn't previously reference Buddhism and Hinduism would automatically recall those terms to a reader's mind, which makes them think that this is supposed to be a satire, a mockery, of those religions—and while that might not be what you meant, that's how it reads. Reading this list, this free-verse poem, it sounds like you're mocking these religions, especially Buddhism, considering you don't even seem to know what Hinduism entails.

This is even more obvious with point 7, where you recant point 6 and proclaim "You live in a shed!", which reads as a mockery of the ascetic lifestyle of certain sects of Buddhism and other religions. Honestly, if I stumbled into this poem in a book, I would probably think the author was extremely biased against these religions.

I think that this poem might be handled better if you dropped the references to real religions, changed the name of your religion to something that doesn't recall those religions, and in general handled this more like a Shel Silverstein humorous poem and less like a poem that's taking itself seriously, which is what this sounds like if you take away the "humor" tag at the top. And if you do want to write some kind of derivative mockery, I suggest you do your research and proofread.

Keep writing!