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Dreams of a Warrior

by Cynwrig


Dreams of a Warrior

By: Kane Williams

I looked up through the far branches into the air. I watched as the star-clad wolves of the night chased the sun from the sky. The sun falling over the horizon being eaten by the creatures, bleeding its sweet colors of purples and reds. There was no way to stop this battle, night was creeping slowly into the sky leaving the world covered in darkness. Pulling the cozy blanket of day off of the creatures nestled below the heavens. I got lost in the beauty of the slaughter of day and was only pulled back by the crackle of the tiny fire burning nearby. Soon this would be the only light besides the giant, white eye that followed the sun in its never ending pursuit.

I thought about what had happened at the birth of this day. How I wish I could say that I fought a beast, rescued a village, or liberated a nation. But I didn’t. This day passed on from birth to death in such a dull moment that I cried. I’m a tough man, but nothing gets to me like the thought of being without use. Ever since the day I left. In my defense, however, I wouldn’t be any more useful lying in the ashes of my home. Crying myself to sleep in both emotional and physical pain. Here I am though, crying myself to sleep again. Dammit. I should be fighting. Why is that the only thing I can think of to do? I’ve been doing it all my life, and so far it’s caused me nothing but trouble. Is it the victory I strive for? Maybe it’s the thrill? Neither of those on their own give me joy. It must be the combination. There’s nothing more graceful than the flow of combat. Each swing orchestrated into a beautiful fluency that fills one with adrenaline. Death, sitting on the edge of his seat, waiting to reach out his hand and steal another life from the battling humans that can never agree on any matter. We are all so different, but sometimes I swear we do it solely for the purpose for the fight to be.

I dried my tears as I laid back into the chilling embrace of the cold autumn ground. The dead leaves rustled as a sudden gust of air blew through the woods. I closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them I was taken by surprise as I heard the dried leaves now being crushed under the force of some creature hurrying into the woods. I rolled onto my chest and got up nearly falling with sleepiness. My tired eyes were wrenched open by the sight of a black beast tearing off the path I was camped by the side of. I fumbled with my footing at first, but I grabbed my blade which hasn't drawn blood since the day I left. I grabbed the rest of my supplies which consisted of some dried meat, furs, a bow and a few arrows, and a torch which I lit on my fire. Then I was off.

I found myself questioning this decision to run off into the woods without thinking. Why couldn't I just stay and mind my own business? I suppose the answer to that has something to do with boredom. I have felt so useless lately, that the thought of chasing something, that could just be a figment of my imagination, has filled me with actual physical comfort. The feeling of my feet hitting the ground in long strides made me quiver. I was so happy that I forgot which direction I was heading and before I knew it, I was falling.

I hit the ground and my torch followed with shots of sparks as it hit the hard surface. I was dazed and injured. I no longer had a smile on my face, especially not after my first clear view of the creature. It came out of the trees staring deep into my eyes. All I could see of it was its bright white eyes and teeth. My gods, its teeth gleamed with such pure absence color that I felt my heart sink deep in my chest. I flailed my hands out reaching for my sword in the darkness. I finally grabbed it and prepared myself for the beast, but its white features disappeared so quickly that I only saw a flash of white tear off to my right-side. I starred out in the direction I thought I saw the beast go to.

I saw light burning from the corner of my eye and turned so quickly I tripped over my own feet. The torch had set the dried leaves ablaze and the fire spread in all ways. Soon the ancient trees would burn brighter than the sun and hotter than molten steel.

I reached down and grabbed my bow. I was completely surrounded by burning trees. Then I saw the fiendish eyes peer through the wall of fire and I took the shot. I heard a muffled grunt over the sound of crackling wood. I drew back another arrow looking around once again. Then, out of the hellish inferno jumped a beast blacker than the depths of a tyrant's souls. The large, evil, wolf-like creature dove at me. I shot and it turned in pain mid-air. Its heavy, limp body slammed into me knocking me back by a pile of trees fallen to smoldering embers. Without thinking of my hand I reached into the pile and grabbed a flaming limb. I swung it just in time to meet the beast's face. I then dropped the stick in pain and attempted the run to my sword. Halfway there the monster caught hold of my leg and whipped my body to the side nonchalantly. I rolled multiple times before I regained my footing.

I looked at the beast. It was still smirking its sly grin. It gave a laugh unlike any other beast or man I've ever met. It lunged and I swung, it went low and my blade went high. It went right back at the same leg and I toppled over it landing on my side. It jumped up digging its teeth into my shoulder. I thrust into its belly causing the bite to go deeper, then loosen.

I pulled its head away. I looked at its still gleaming teeth that were now covered in crimson syrup. It still had that damned smile on its face. Luckily its glowing features were no more than a contrasted silhouette in the dark forest oulined with fire. I slid it to the side and gazed up through the blazing treetops.

Why couldn't everyday be like this one? Laying on the ground with wounds in my flesh and victory in my heart. I closed my eyes only for a moment.

Then I woke up...


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Thu May 06, 2021 11:30 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well...this was quite an epic story here...the fight scene down there sounded really intense and it did not get boring at any point. There was a good sense of the power and speed and the beast that was being fought...it was done really well there...anyways lemme get down there for a bit more detail.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I looked up through the far branches into the air. I watched as the star-clad wolves of the night chased the sun from the sky. The sun falling over the horizon being eaten by the creatures, bleeding its sweet colors of purples and reds. There was no way to stop this battle, night was creeping slowly into the sky leaving the world covered in darkness. Pulling the cozy blanket of day off of the creatures nestled below the heavens. I got lost in the beauty of the slaughter of day and was only pulled back by the crackle of the tiny fire burning nearby. Soon this would be the only light besides the giant, white eye that followed the sun in its never ending pursuit.


Wow...that's quite a lot of really cool imagery there that you're starting off with. I'm really liking all of this so far. The images that its creating are just amazing and it makes for a really good start to a story here....definitely gets me interested at least.

I thought about what had happened at the birth of this day. How I wish I could say that I fought a beast, rescued a village, or liberated a nation. But I didn’t. This day passed on from birth to death in such a dull moment that I cried. I’m a tough man, but nothing gets to me like the thought of being without use. Ever since the day I left. In my defense, however, I wouldn’t be any more useful lying in the ashes of my home. Crying myself to sleep in both emotional and physical pain. Here I am though, crying myself to sleep again. Dammit. I should be fighting. Why is that the only thing I can think of to do? I’ve been doing it all my life, and so far it’s caused me nothing but trouble. Is it the victory I strive for? Maybe it’s the thrill? Neither of those on their own give me joy. It must be the combination. There’s nothing more graceful than the flow of combat. Each swing orchestrated into a beautiful fluency that fills one with adrenaline. Death, sitting on the edge of his seat, waiting to reach out his hand and steal another life from the battling humans that can never agree on any matter. We are all so different, but sometimes I swear we do it solely for the purpose for the fight to be.


Well...that is a quite a lot of backstory packed in there. Looks like our protagonist here is coming from some really bad history having suffered quite a lot of stuff by the looks of it. And then that description of how battle works and how he just wants to keep fighting even though it brings only sorrow...ahhh that's just written really well here.

I dried my tears as I laid back into the chilling embrace of the cold autumn ground. The dead leaves rustled as a sudden gust of air blew through the woods. I closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them I was taken by surprise as I heard the dried leaves now being crushed under the force of some creature hurrying into the woods. I rolled onto my chest and got up nearly falling with sleepiness. My tired eyes were wrenched open by the sight of a black beast tearing off the path I was camped by the side of. I fumbled with my footing at first, but I grabbed my blade which hasn't drawn blood since the day I left. I grabbed the rest of my supplies which consisted of some dried meat, furs, a bow and a few arrows, and a torch which I lit on my fire. Then I was off.


Ooh lovely little surprise attack, written quite well...aaand I believe the hunt is now onn....well this is exciting...let's see how this fight scene pans out.

I found myself questioning this decision to run off into the woods without thinking. Why couldn't I just stay and mind my own business? I suppose the answer to that has something to do with boredom. I have felt so useless lately, that the thought of chasing something, that could just be a figment of my imagination, has filled me with actual physical comfort. The feeling of my feet hitting the ground in long strides made me quiver. I was so happy that I forgot which direction I was heading and before I knew it, I was falling.


Well...that doesn't seem good, looks like the boredom might have also led to a slight lack of practice and hence this fall here....we shall see I suppose.

I hit the ground and my torch followed with shots of sparks as it hit the hard surface. I was dazed and injured. I no longer had a smile on my face, especially not after my first clear view of the creature. It came out of the trees staring deep into my eyes. All I could see of it was its bright white eyes and teeth. My gods, its teeth gleamed with such pure absence color that I felt my heart sink deep in my chest. I flailed my hands out reaching for my sword in the darkness. I finally grabbed it and prepared myself for the beast, but its white features disappeared so quickly that I only saw a flash of white tear off to my right-side. I starred out in the direction I thought I saw the beast go to.


Oooh this beast appears to be quite a dangerous one here...its definitely doing quite some damage here and causing a lot of problems for out protagonist. I'm liking the overall beats of the fight so far here...let's see how it continues I suppose.

I saw light burning from the corner of my eye and turned so quickly I tripped over my own feet. The torch had set the dried leaves ablaze and the fire spread in all ways. Soon the ancient trees would burn brighter than the sun and hotter than molten steel.


That definitely doesn't sound good.

I reached down and grabbed my bow. I was completely surrounded by burning trees. Then I saw the fiendish eyes peer through the wall of fire and I took the shot. I heard a muffled grunt over the sound of crackling wood. I drew back another arrow looking around once again. Then, out of the hellish inferno jumped a beast blacker than the depths of a tyrant's souls. The large, evil, wolf-like creature dove at me. I shot and it turned in pain mid-air. Its heavy, limp body slammed into me knocking me back by a pile of trees fallen to smoldering embers. Without thinking of my hand I reached into the pile and grabbed a flaming limb. I swung it just in time to meet the beast's face. I then dropped the stick in pain and attempted the run to my sword. Halfway there the monster caught hold of my leg and whipped my body to the side nonchalantly. I rolled multiple times before I regained my footing.


Really loving the beats of the fight at the moment. This monster is described really well here and you definitely get the point that this is a very much hellish creature that is very very dangerous to fight. And wow is our protagonist here taking some serious damage.

I looked at the beast. It was still smirking its sly grin. It gave a laugh unlike any other beast or man I've ever met. It lunged and I swung, it went low and my blade went high. It went right back at the same leg and I toppled over it landing on my side. It jumped up digging its teeth into my shoulder. I thrust into its belly causing the bite to go deeper, then loosen.

I pulled its head away. I looked at its still gleaming teeth that were now covered in crimson syrup. It still had that damned smile on its face. Luckily its glowing features were no more than a contrasted silhouette in the dark forest oulined with fire. I slid it to the side and gazed up through the blazing treetops.


Wow....that is a truly intense fight there. Definitely was a very satisfying fight to read there...it was really well done...and on the bright side, we also won the fight which is even better.

Why couldn't everyday be like this one? Laying on the ground with wounds in my flesh and victory in my heart. I closed my eyes only for a moment.

Then I woke up...


Oh well...the ol' classic "It was all a dream...too bad the poor guy can never seem to get a satisfactory fight...but heyy...at least he got one in a dream."

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall this was a really nice story to read. I definitely enjoyed reading it quite a lot and overall I think you've just brought out a really fun concept here and that ending...ahh...well...nice twist...well anyway that's all I've gotta say here.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Sat Mar 21, 2015 11:36 am
WrittenEdge wrote a review...



First of all, wow... You really are someone that I will have to keep an eye on, because I could learn a thing or two from you. For instance, your amazing use of imagery and personification! I could literally see, feel, and hear every written word you wrote, and believe me, it made the whole experience even better.
I would have to say that my favorite line out of this entire piece is, "Death, sitting on the edge of his seat, waiting to reach out his hand and steal another life from the battling humans that can never agree on any matter."
I could just see, what we feel death looks like, sitting on a chair with his scythe in one hand, and his other outstretched, his black hood hiding his face. I absolutely loved it!
And, the ending! It truly caught me by surprise, to be honest. I thought it was all truly happening, and then I felt bad for the character because they didn't live the moment they desperately wished for. The character is also something you wrote well; they're a well fleshed-out character, to the point where, as I had noted, the reader can feel sympathy towards them. I cared for them, and that's important in a story.
I honestly don't know what gender the main character is, but for some reason I got the vibe that it's a male... but, I could be wrong.
Although, I did find a few minor mistakes, but they're really easy fixes.
For instance, in the line, "I *starred out in the direction I thought I saw the beast go to." 'starred' should be 'stared'.
One thing you'll have to remember is to keep any unnecessary detail out, because many people don't like having to read anything that they don't really need in order to understand the story. I'm not saying that that's what you had trouble with, I feel like you had just the right amount, but others (like my mom...) get bored rather easily when they have to read sentences of details beyond the needed amount. It's just something to keep in mind.
Like I said, I will definitely have to watch you, because this was an amazing adventure! I can't wait to read more of your works!




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Thu Oct 30, 2014 12:15 am
Nikki399 says...



Hey, awesome story :-D
I really loved the intensity of it. And it is not to fast passed or to slow, it is perfect.
Then, out of the hellish inferno jumped a beast blacker than the depths of a tyrant's soul.
Man, I love that line. Although you have souls instead of soul. But it sad that it was only a dream, I wanted to know what the beast was.
Anyway, great job.
Nikki399




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Tue Oct 28, 2014 4:34 pm
CreepyMeow wrote a review...



Hey, Cywnrig. This is one pretty good story ,i shall say. There are those stories that you just read with a blank feeling ,but in this one. I got the feeling that it kind of caught me, and trapped me in fantasy. It was a little hard to read, but overall - great. ( in a scale of taco to pumpkins ,it was a FINEapple )
CreepyMeow




Cynwrig says...


Thanks



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Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:21 am
Burrow wrote a review...



That's a heck of a good story, congrats, is was well written and hardly any mistakes, and it was full of action the whole time, you just wanted to red more though I suggest, not that I can talk, I have found lately, the little the paragraph the better, it makes it easier to read, and you don't find your self skimming, to it like this sought of.

I reached down and grabbed my bow. I was completely surrounded by burning trees. Then I saw the fiendish eyes peer through the wall of fire and I took the shot. I heard a muffled grunt over the sound of crackling wood. I drew back another arrow looking around once again. Then, out of the hellish inferno jumped a beast blacker than the depths of a tyrant's souls. The large, evil, wolf-like creature dove at me. I shot and it turned in pain mid-air. Its heavy, limp body slammed into me knocking me back by a pile of trees fallen to smouldering embers. Without thinking of my hand I reached into the pile and grabbed a flaming limb. I swung it just in time to meet the beast's face. I then dropped the stick in pain and attempted the run to my sword. Halfway there the monster caught hold of my leg and whipped my body to the side nonchalantly. I rolled multiple times before I regained my footing. THIS

I reached down and grabbed my bow. I was completely surrounded by burning trees. Then I saw the fiendish eyes peer through the wall of fire and I took the shot. I heard a muffled grunt over the sound of crackling wood.

I drew back another arrow looking around once again. Then, out of the hellish inferno jumped a beast blacker than the depths of a tyrant's souls. The large, evil, wolf-like creature dove at me. I shot and it turned in pain mid-air.

Its heavy, limp body slammed into me knocking me back by a pile of trees fallen to smouldering embers. Without thinking of my hand I reached into the pile and grabbed a flaming limb. I swung it just in time to meet the beast's face. I then dropped the stick in pain and attempted the run to my sword. Halfway there the monster caught hold of my leg and whipped my body to the side nonchalantly.

I rolled multiple times before I regained my footing. TO THIS

It makes it easier to read if you understand what I mean. anyway good story, keep up thee writing.

Jack.




Cynwrig says...


That's one of the problems I've always had. During fighting scenes I tend to stretch the paragraph a bit to long.



jackm1999 says...


Yeah, I do that do, but either way its a great story, it just makes it easier to read.

Jack




Powerful men have a way of avoiding consequences.
— Dr. Harrison Wells, The Flash