Young Writers Society

First not to sound rude or anything but like the others have been saying, this story needs to be under poems instead of short stories. Second this story has lots of potential but it is kind of lost due to vocabulary and wording if you put a little more wording and feeling into this poem i think it would be alot better. I like how you describe the wolf being alone and how he wants to call upon to the birds for direction. Interesting poem.

Hello!
I do agree that you should put this in another category. Maybe poetry>narrative>humor or something like that. At first I was thinking that this was just realistic, and serious. Then came the end.
"*cries*
i hate the forest
*howling in the distance*
oh no
better get going."
I love this! Funny! Though i should be I. Other than that, I couldn't really find anything wrong with it! Great job! I will be looking forward to reading more of your work soon!
-Snazzy

Like other people have already stated this is more a poetic piece that a short story. I like that the story deals with a wolf boy who is in his natural setting of the forest and yet still an outsider in that he is a lone wolf and separated from all of the other wolves. I thought it was interesting to call the birds his friends or foe when in reality they would probably be dinner for a wolf boy. The searching for food or water etc. was a strange idea. Usually you would search for your largest need first and the narrator’s running away from the howling of the wolves at the end of the pice tells the reader that the search for friends is not going to happen. I think that you could expand what it means to be neutral. In this poem it seems like it means that the narrator falls somewhere in the middle, but neutrality has so much depth and potential that could be explored. I think that if you wanted to turn this into to a short story the more subtle aspects of this piece could come to the surface. Why would someone who hates the forest then go to the forest? Was it becoming lost that made him hate the forest? Starting the piece with “Oh woe is me” is also a very dramatic way to start a piece and could use more dramatic tension throughout the piece in order to capture the flare of the first line.

Hey,

I'm not sure I would call this a short story with a few tweaks it would make a great poem however. My biggest problem right now is the lack of well anything honestly. In my opinion any great... well anything really has punctuation, Capitalization, and vocabulary. Clearly this poem has vocabulary Its just not very complex. And do I really need to elaborate on the other two? I wish you had put a bit more effort into this it could really be something amazing if you poured a little time into it. I hope to read more of your work in the future.
Sincerely,
Collideascope

Hello, starfire.

I'm not quite sure why this is posted in the short story section. It looks like it's formatted more like a poem. Perhaps you should move it to a different section in order to properly represent the kind of literature this most reflects.

At first I thought that this poem would contain a deeper meaning, but by the end of the poem, this hope was lost as it fell into a kind of chatspeak and the end told readers that indeed, the poem is just about someone in the forest.

Though the wilderness can be frightening, you miss some grand opportunities to allow nature to become an opposing character to the kid in the woods. Nature can be a powerful character, and I encourage you to use more literary devices in your piece, like personification, metaphor, and simile to create something that is interesting to read.

Your point of view seems to switch. At one point, in the line

a boy in the forest