Young Writers Society

Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. i like to begin that i love the way you repeat allegory throughout this poem as a message or as something like a repetition of effect to create a beat for the reader to read. Also i would think that many people could relate since we (all) might have felt like we could hide our feelings, stabbing out arms with sadden thought or crying alone in the bathroom, without a thought of the world, that no one cared.

Nitpick(s):

The dizziness she felt?/ Watching her sway before/ dropping so suddenly?

Hello, love! Aurora here with a final review day review for you!

Great poem you have here! I love the repetition of your last lines, along with the decision to italicize it. It also makes your entire poem seem like you're analyzing a book, or a scene, and makes it less dramatic- which I shouldn't like, but I do, for some reason. Great overall mood .

Your formatting is beautiful, and I have to ask: is this an actual style of poetry, or did you make this up?

The one critique I have for you are that your descriptions are a bit lacking- especially in your final verse. You have such beautiful figurative language previously- what happened?

Also, in your very first verse, while the decision to use the word scarlet is a strong one, it's not entirely correct. It is a poem, so you needn't change it, but scars/dried blood are not scarlet.

The use of the word allegory, finally, is the strongest point in the poem, I think. It gives an almost book-ish sense (like I mentioned above). Great job with this.

That's all the critiques I have for you.
Keep writing, love.
~Aurora

Heddo.

So firstly, I can see why someone requested this to be posted.

Those cuts on her wrist?
The ones that lay like
scarlet warning signs?
It's an allegory.

That dizziness she felt?
Watching her sway before
dropping so suddenly?
It's an allegory.

I really love the diversity in the vocab. Really saddening but hard hitting at the same time. I can't really tell how much I like the way the poem was laid out though, aside from the reestablishment of allegory each time. Over l really well written and emotional and I enjoyed it, thank you for sharing!

How, or should I ask you to elaborate?

Viv here. As always Secrete your poems are fantastic and as my friend Sarah would say, angsty. Thanks for the vocab word, I really didn't know what it meant. I get there's a deeper meaning and I think I can make sense of the first stanza but the rest I'm troubled with. Don't change the poem though, there's no need for that in my opinion. (Sorry if this is a bad review. Out of practice.)

I will review this Monday. Promise!