Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well..this was quite a deep story despite being as short as it is...oh wow...this is proving to be very interesting indeed...definitely about a very relatable situation too and that just makes this that much more powerful...well let's see where its all headed down below.

Anyway let's get right to it,

A little while ago, I let go of a friend. Not because they had bad qualities, or because we didn't get along well. It was because every time we talked, I felt as if a dagger was being pushed more and more into my stomach. I felt like, because of them, I couldn't be truly happy.

When I only started feeling this way, I thought, I can't do this to them. They'll break. But now, I did. And surprisingly, they took it well. Of course, I knew the 'It's okay' wasn't real, and that it really really wasn't okay for them. But I also know, that time heals mostly everything. You get over it, even if you don't want to.

So I let go. It was strange at first, because my heart was still beating like I just ran up and down a hill ten times in row. Because I was terrified. Hell, I'm still terrified.

But I let go. I want to scream it, I want to show myself that I actually did it. That I'm brave enough. That I'm free.

Maybe in a day or week or month, I'll start regretting it. But then, I'll remind myself that it's not a problem anymore. That there's no use in dwelling.

I'm free. Free from thinking how to make it better, free of worrying whether if I mean it when I say that I love them.

I can move on, from now. Or maybe not, maybe I'll sit alone in the hallways of my school. But I won't think about it. Because you shouldn't force a friendship. It should come naturally. And if it doesn't?

Alright, I think this is a pretty good story, but I think it's a little cliche. Phrases like "Dagger being driven into my stomach" and "I'm free" don't sit very well for me. Also there were a few grammatical errors I noticed, and I'll put them below. I would also consider this a poem rather than a short story, because rather than a narrative I think most of this is dedicated to your feelings towards something, more akin to poetry.
But either way, I think you did a good job, keep on writing!

A little while ago, I let go of a friend. Not because they had bad qualities, or because we didn't get along well, but because every time we talked I felt as if a dagger was being pushed more and more into my stomach. I felt like I couldn't be truly happy.

When I only started feeling this way, I thought, I can't do this to them, they'll break, but I did, and they took it well. I knew the 'It's okay' wasn't real, and that it really really wasn't okay for them, but I also know that time heals mostly everything, and you get over it even if you don't want to.

So I let go, and it was strange at first, because my heart was still beating like I just ran up and down a hill ten times in a row. I was terrified, hell, I'm still terrified.

But I let go. I want to scream it, I want to show myself that I actually did it, that I'm brave enough, that I'm free.

Maybe in a day, or a week, or a month, I'll start regretting it, but I'll remind myself that it's not a problem anymore, that there's no use in dwelling.

I'm free, free from thinking how to make it better, free of worrying if I meant it when I said that I loved them.

I can move on for now (Couldn't tell if you actually meant "from now"), or maybe not. Maybe I'll sit alone in the hallways of my school, but I won't think about it, because you shouldn't force a friendship. It should come naturally, and if it doesn't?

Let them go.

Losing friends is probably the hardest thing someone can do. I personal have been through this same situation, and this small little...almost essay like story really did cut a bit deep for me. Though, I am shocked that this isn't about having a fallen out. Personal issues are understandable; which is probably where the dagger into your stomach got in there, though I was a bit curious as to why this had happened. Was it because you both were going on different paths and you thought it was time to end the friendship to keep you both from falling hard? Or was it because you felt as if neither of you were truly trying in the friendship anymore? Or what if the friendship was starting to turn into a relationship? You probably have so many people in pure curiosity and wonder that is perfect as it is. Leaving the reader with multiple scenarios in their head running around and it could be anyone of them!

I like the message you're saying here. While it is sad to let some people go, there will be times when someone must make the decision whether or not to leave, especially if they feel they're being dragged down the more time passes. Whatever a person chooses though, should hopefully make them grow more, even if it means hurting in the process. That's how we'll get better, after all.

Now, as for things I think you could improve on, I think you can merge some sentences here and there. While I read it, it seemed quite choppy in some areas - it wasn't a deal breaker, but it certainly took some of the mood away. One such example would be:

But now, I did. And surprisingly, they took it well.