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I'm Wearing Your T-Shirt

by RoyalHighness


Scott, 

I'm wearing your t-shirt tonight. 

I saw it in the bottom of my locker. 

It's still a little tight. 

I can't remember if it was football or soccer, 

But I'll wear it anyway, alright? 

We didn't know each other well 

But I still miss you, and I have to tell.

I don't know why I'm still thinking of you–

I mean, you've been gone for a year. 

But part of me still believes it's not true.

Part of me still wishes you were here. 

And I know you were drained,

And I know you were in pain, 

But I want you to know,

Even though you had to leave, 

You meant a lot to me, old soul.

And still do, if truth be told, 

Even after your last breath 

Took its final

Dreadful 

Heave.


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Mon May 04, 2015 6:12 pm
speakerskat wrote a review...



Hey there Kat here to review

This was really sad :( but also really good . I feel awful for the character here and I know she must have loved him very much to still feel such pain . You might consider adding more descriptor words to make the emotional toll even greater but I think that might take away from the simple, matter-of-fact emptiness of the poem. This meant a lot to me particularly because there are so many people I would hate to loose and it would tear me up inside . I liked the way you ended with shorter lines then what you started with to drive the feeling home even more.

Well done here

Kat




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Sun Jul 27, 2014 7:42 pm
AdmiralKat wrote a review...



Hello! KatyaElefant here for another review! Happy Review Day! Let's see what we have here!

One thing that immediately bugged me when I started to read this was the fact that it wasn't organized into stanzas. I know. I know. You don't have to do it but it could always work with this poem! This is just a suggestion, you don't have to do it. Also, another thing that always bugs me is when people start sentences with but or and, but it it okay in poetry(I hate you poetry...so I will let this slide for now).That's all I have to criticize right now.

The theme of this is so great! I don't even know why you put this under the categories of general, general. It should be under romantic, tragic. That would be more fitting! I want to know what happened to Scott, but in poetry, you usually never find out what happens to it's character *weeps softly*. I hope that he will he happy where ever he is and I hope that my review hasn't offended anyone! 0-0 I really feel sorry from just hearing this poem. That must have be something tragic that you have gone through(I think this happened. I looked through the comments). The symbolism of the t-shirt is amazing. Great job with everything! Keep calm and keep writing! :D Oh and Happy Review Day!

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Thu Jul 10, 2014 5:06 pm
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Nikachu says...



Scott brought a light to our lives that we all miss. This a truly beautiful tribute. I would review this if I was able to pull myself together enough to think clearly. So I'm gonna leave now because I have nothing but applause for you.

Keep it up my dear






love you bae



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Thu Jul 10, 2014 8:47 am
EmeraldEyes wrote a review...



Awwww.

This was a very sad work, but also, incredibly well written.
The whole t-shirt motif was just... simply beautiful actually. Because it's so honest.
I really hope this wasn't inspired by someone you knew, but just in case it was: *huggles*

So, what I liked about this piece:

I can't remember if it was football or soccer,

But I'll wear it anyway, alright?
Is the expression of doubt, and almost the lack of feeling in the words the narrator is saying. It's so honest.

I mean, you've been gone for a year.

But part of me still believes it's not true.

Part of me still wishes you were here.
Denial, or lack of belief is another huge part of the grieving process. And you seem to have really tapped into that here.

This is (personally) one of the best lines I have ever read in poetry:

Even after your last breath

Took its final

Dreadful

Heave.
I wish I had written that. *jealous*

Well done. Keep writing!






Aw! ^.^ Wow I'm honored, thank you for your compliments! :D



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Thu Jul 10, 2014 5:31 am
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kholoudZayat says...



may his soul rest in peace .






Thank you.



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Thu Jul 10, 2014 4:11 am
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221 wrote a review...



Very nice work that you have here. It is obviously filled with a lot of emotion and the reader can sense that (I even started to tear up). I have never had to go through the pain of losing a friend in that way so I can't even begin to relate to how it must feel. But your poem here makes me wonder about how I might feel if I had lost a friend. Reading and thinking about your poem surfaces some new emotions for me and I realize that sometimes we take our friends for granted. I could not imagine the loss of somebody such as a friend who you are able to confide in and trust.

The imagery and overall picture of wearing a passed friends shirt in honor of them is very poetic. I think it is a very good aspect of the poem because it is able to instantly make the reader feel emotion. Because it is such a strong aspect of the poem I would try to bring it up again towards the end to ensure that that image is reinforced. I do like that the poem has a rhyme scheme but don't be afraid to stray from it a little bit in order to make the writing seem less forced.

This poem was very thoughtful and may have given me a new appreciation for my friends. I really think you did a great job here. :)






Wow, thank you so much!




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