This was beautiful <3
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Writing was my mind,
The place where I retreated.
Where the world made sense,
And you control it all.
But that may be no more,
writing holds no pleasure now.
I used to hide from the world with my writing,
But now, writing gets harder and harder as life goes on.
Life and death make a cycle,
Coming to realize that is one thing,
learning to cope with it is another.
A life has gone,
one quite close to me.
And now I am at a loss for words,
The pen no longer swirls across the page,
but stalls and stutters in a most ungainly manner.
She would be proud that I had made more poetry,
But I wish she was here to read it.
*In honor of someone who I could proudly call my surrogate grandmother. I only met her twice, but each time she was wonderful in a way that I cannot put to words.
First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. When someone you love very much goes, it's hard to believe. Congratulations on taking the first step: admitting it happened and learning to get over it. It'll be hard, but you have us here.
Anyways, on to the review. Your poem was very lovely, and it painted a picture in my mind, almost as if your pen was swirling through my own thoughts. Your word choice just made this poem easier to connect to, and that helps the reader understand what you are saying. The thing I got from this poem was that you just want to be able to write and be happy again. It'd be better if your grandmother could read it of course.
It's a shame you have lost interest in writing because you are amazingly talented. Don't let your loss stop you from writing. As you said, they would want you to keep writing, and your grandmother isnt the only one. I, along with many others, will wait to see more from you. Lastly, thank you for letting us read this.
Hi.
I am really sorry for your loss.
I can see that this poem is a very physical and emotive form of expression. And it is lovely.
Would it also be right to say that your writing is your way of grieving?
It's a wonderful outlet to have if it is.
I did find the title a bit aggressive. Especially when I saw the work and where it all came from, I think you could have something so much more lovely and subtle for a lovely work.
Life and death make a cycle,
Coming to realize that is one thing,
learning to cope with it is another.
I felt every word , it would've been the same for me ! I can for sure relate . This is well presented , feelings are just too clear and can be easily be felt deep in the heart . Keep writing
Hello Kelpies. Nice poem. To be honest, I can relate.
Writing:
The writing is well presented and flows well. And the mood is consistent and present.
Feel:
It made me feel nostalgic, sad, and yearning of the past. Well presented and sadly depressing.
Overall:
A wonderful, sad poem, great presentation. You have a great technique. Please, keep writing!!
Points: 2994
Reviews: 155
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