Young Writers Society

Simply put... I love this. Frank, as you named the character, was surprisingly an interesting character. I like how you keep each stanza similar by putting "Frank's ___" after each one. This poem describes perfectly how PTSD is represented through people. You seem to understand the topic so well, and that made this a much more interesting poem to read.

It was repetitive, but that, in my opinion, was a nice touch. To me, that represents the flashbacks Frank had and how it was like repeating events. The stanzas were very interesting, especially the last one. Eventually Frank loses it, and in such simplistic words you describe something so complex and detailed. That takes talent, which you obviously have! I cant wait to see more from you.

RoyalHighness has arrived to review!
Wow, really powerful poem! But you don't need me to tell you that; I'm sure you already know!
So let's breeze over some little nitpicking and get to compliments, shall we?

Nitpicks!

Hi honey.
Hmmm. This was depressing. I know what you based it on. At the same time, it was like... ;(

Anyways, review:

What Went Well

1. You have used punctuation perfectly. The blunt stop at the end of every line makes a point about the blunt stop to life that accompanies war. So even your punctuation reflects your meaning.
2. This time, there is the right balance between repetition and not repeating yourself, prime example being in the opening lines where you make two different points in a similar way
3. This poem tells a story and isn't just a rant like some of your older works. I much prefer this style. Also because, it actually has characters and a proper voice now.

Even Better If

1. You had experimented with stanzas and the way they are laid out a bit more, make it look more dynamic.
2. There were some emphasis put on different points for example: Frank's dead, just seemed a bit nonchalant as it wasn't bolded or didn't have an exclamation mark or anything.
3. You could develop the characters a bit more and write from first person and third person, so switch up POVs.

I love you and your writing hunny.
-huggles- ♥