Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure

E - Everyone

Storyteller's Reality Chapter 2

by Cynder

Hello there. Everything will come together eventually, my student. I can't say anything yet but, well... let's pause for a minute before I continue the story. I am not teacher; I am someone else. For now, we can say that, yes, I am your teacher.

We begin with the topic of shape-shifting, something your heroine does not know much about. This ability requires much training and focus. Beyond that, these forms do not appear out of thin air. For every shape you can transform into, you must meet either that creature in a living or corporeal form and sign a contract with them. Of course, you can't exactly sign a contract because animals can't use human items such as pens or pencils. That aside, you must find a way to gain the animals' trust, or if one is evil, seal your forms in a crystal so that they must obey you.

These forms will always be animals, as shape-shifting does not allow you to change into a human form other than your own.

There is another drawback to shape-shifting; if you spend too much time in a certain form, you can inevitably completely transform into that animal. Which means you can say goodbye to your human side: you.

In your world and the humans of the 3000's, the public eye views supernatural creatures as fanatical, dark, and vile creatures treated as inhuman. Once you are found out to be something different, nobody likes you anymore. So keep your secret hidden, my friends.

That's all for now. Let us see how your Ti-human, ahem, how your human heroine is doing.

~A New Beginning~

I don't remember... Who am I? 

Wait... I don't remember who I am, or even what my purpose is... I'm all alone.

I scanned my surroundings, finding every bit of them new. Somehow I made it to the south pole, for I could see the ice and feel the cold. It was a harsh, desolate land, made for the living to struggle daily. Rarely giving, mostly unpredictable and unforgiving for the weak of heart. I did not know how I got here, nor how long I had been asleep. I looked around at my bleary surroundings, stopping at my paws. 

Wait.. paws? What’s going on? Panic started to settle in, accelerating my thought processes with continuous bursts of adrenaline. 

Towards the entrance of the cave, I saw.. something move. I’m not really sure what, but even before I could guess what manner of thing it was, it had disappeared. Now, not two seconds later, it reappeared.. a silhouette, a shadow. Then it spoke; a voice inside my head with a  woman-like tone, and a calm, singsong voice,

Now calm down, new one. Mm, yes.. there is a prophecy around you. I shall teach and mentor. Question is, will youth not allow me to, or will the wisdom separate youth from understanding? I know you do not understand much now, and it will stay that way for many years to come. So let me teach you now. You have nothing better to do. She paused as if expecting me to answer. 

I couldn't speak. That battle in New York drained me of all physical strength, and I was barely holding on. I could only think because of the adrenaline pumping through my veins. Here she comes in and teaches me like some mother to her child. I don't know this person--no, I don't know this thing. 

I didn't know what she was talking about or how much she understood about my situation or.. how she had come to sound so knowledgeable and wise.. so I just slowly mustered the strength to nod my head in response.

Good. Lesson one, look at yourself. What are you?

“A... Polar bear,” I had to focus really hard to produce these simple words.

Not really. Hmm... not even close. I will teach you. Remember when you left the city, you were a dragon. Now think really hard young shapeshifter. Do you remember what the dragon looked like?

I thought hard. Dragon.. s-s-silver?… Dragon.. Yes!! Dragon!  “Yes, I remember,” exasperated, I almost croaked out the words.

Yes, and now you are like a polar bear. Any similarities to be found?

“...Mm-no, they are two completely different creatures.”

Precisely, they are similar.

“What? Wait, they are two different creatures!” I exclaimed. There was no way they had similarities, and yet I felt desperate, somehow, to believe my own words. Something nagged at me, making me slowly understand that..

Yes, they are similar. And you, my dear, are what I call.. a shapeshifter. You see:

 The tale you so often spun, 

Will make you come undone, 

For you find yourself anew 

And realizing you are one of very few..

You are the Prophecy."

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
639 Reviews

Points: 13700
Reviews: 639

Sat Mar 28, 2015 11:23 am
SpiritedWolfe wrote a review...

Hey again, Cynder! Wow, this installment is much shorter this time around.

I'll start by backing up Wolfie's first point. Just saying the pole is rather confusing, and I had assumed you mean something like a pool and it was just a typo. But then it became even more confusing when there was no previous mention of a pool, why would she do that and how is a pool desolate? XD Be more clear there.

Before I continue, a quick nitpick.

Just then, something remarkable happened.

So, this is one of those lines that will make readers groan and roll their eyes. Saying things like 'and then it happened!' do a lot more harm to the story than good. It's one quite a cliche line but also ruins the tensions and mystery that's starting to build, because instead if letting it just happen, you gave us a heads up. It's like being chased by a maniac and then whenever he is near, he walks up to you and gives you a slip of paper before hiding and trying to to scare you right after. You know he's there, so it doesn't work.

This also happened in the previous chapter, in the prologue I believe, so just watch out for spots like that. Give us the actions first and cut right to them. You want that shocking factor to be preserved so that we are pulled into the story and begging to see what happens next, eagerly turning pages.

Anyway, right after that line there's a slight intermission where the narrator comes in from the present and pulls us out of the story. Here, it doesn't feel necessary. It's more jarring and prevents us from being pulled in completely. I would recommend a better way to sprinkle that in so it's entrance doesn't stop anything and flows with the actions.

The prophecy at the end it really nice, but to me it doesn't read quite right. The second line doesn't have the beat of the first and it tripped me up a little bit. Perhaps go back and play around with the wording, adding/removing some while still keeping the same concept.

Overall, I'm very interested. So she's a shapeshifter, huh? Reminds me a lot if David Tenant from a book series about clay dragons that I read (the name slips my mind) and your interactions between the characters is really nice.

Sorry for the short review, but the part itself is also short ^^ Keep on Writing,

Cynder says...

The north pole, sorry. The place in the world I meant. I need to reword that

User avatar
426 Reviews

Points: 4834
Reviews: 426

Fri Jul 18, 2014 1:06 am
Wolfical wrote a review...

Wolfie is here!

Somehow I landed in the pole, for I could see the ice and feel the cold.

This is, I assume, the North/South Pole? I thought that it was an actual pole at first, until you mentioned the cold. Maybe capitalizing "Pole" or specifying which pole would be helpful.
Don’t worry everything makes sense eventually.

All you need here is an extra little comma after "worry."
Wait, they are two DIFFERENT creatures!

A more professional way to express a particular word is to italicize it.

That's it for nitpicks!

So, I see that you have a lovely little poem at the end. Why don't you italicize it and break it up into lines, like a true poem, so that it has more of an effect. I didn't notice that it was a little poem until I saw the neat rhymes.

Overall, I really liked this! :D The idea of a shape-shifting creature... How interesting! I'm really liking where this story is going. Keep up your writing, buddy!

Cynder says...

Thanks for the helpful tips! I know that the pole isn't specified but that was on purpose. I am going to explain it in the next chapter. I don't like to be a writer where they spend half a chapter describing things. As for everything else, I will fix them. Anyway, thanks again.

User avatar
151 Reviews

Points: 388
Reviews: 151

Wed Jul 09, 2014 10:15 pm
Pinkiegirl13 wrote a review...

Hi, Cynder. This is Pinkie here for a review.

I know that I didn't read the chapter 1, but this chapter made sense to me. It is very interesting and exciting to read about. It flows perfectly when I read though the chapter. It made me lured into the chapter and don't wanted to end. This is an exciting and amazing masterpiece. I did same few errors on here. Like this sentence:


Maybe you need to space the exclamation mark, '!', and 'Dragon' a bit.

Overall, this is a great chapter. I enjoyed this story a lot. I will read the first chapter after I am done with this one. You did a wonderful job on this chapter. I hope to read more from you. I will wait for the next chapter! Well, have a nice day!

Awesome Job! :D


Your reviewer, Pinkiegirl13

Cynder says...

Thanks for the review, I'll fix that yeah. Haha a little basic errors, but then I guess everyone makes those mistakes. Thanks for helping me out, I appreciate it.

User avatar
200 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 200

Wed Jul 09, 2014 7:01 am
EmeraldEyes wrote a review...


Ah... me reading this didn't make that much sense at the beginning until I realised I hadn't read the first part then I read the first part. And it made sense. so...

Then I looked down at my paws. Wait.. paws? What’s going on?
You've made a really solid start to this writing and I am impressed. However, you kind of undo it with the next sentence because it is so basic:

Panic started to settle in. Just then, something remarkable happened.
Using "just then" or "and then" were things I was always told not to do because they slow down the pace and generally make what you're writing seem unexciting.

The whole work is very anti-climactic:

Towards the entrance of the cave, I saw.. something. I’m not really sure what, but even before I could guess what manner of thing it was, it had disappeared. Now, not two seconds later, it reappeared.. a silhouette, a shadow. Then it spoke, a voice inside my head, woman-like, with a middle-aged, calm, singsong voice,
"something" this actually made me laugh because I didn't see it coming. XD

Well done for keeping me guessing, keep writing. :)

Cynder says...

I see what you're saying, but I don't necessarily know exactly how to portray what you are intending for me to write. So if you could give me specifics that would be great. Thanks for the help.

User avatar
53 Reviews

Points: 1279
Reviews: 53

Wed Jul 09, 2014 5:53 am
Cynder says...

I know that the writing isn't centered, but I can't seem to figure that out. If you guys can help, that'd be great. Thanks and enjoy!

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!
— Dr. Seuss