Young Writers Society

Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. i like to begin on well-written this poem is since you make amazing reasons on how everyone chooses life. I believe everyone could follow this/agree to this since we all have wondered what everyone else is thinking.

I have a few nitpicks about this:

I think you should have made into a separate stanza for each line also feel like there is an internal rhyme within this poem due to it beat that it has.

Like, super sophisticated If you could maybe change this up a bit/delete this part since it is almost repeating what you said in the previous stanza above that one.

Man! I'm lost I don't think that exclamation mark was needed there in the middle of a sentence since it doesn't add style to it. Leave it as I'm lost also the three dots at the end make it seem like you are not done writing this poem.

When I remember though, I don't know what to do this is a little confusing since you are basically contradicting yourself (in a sense) since you have no idea what to do while thinking.

Unlike the things i said above, i believe that this poem has its good ideas too. i like the whole poem itself and how at the beginning you use question words then comply those who read this to answer/listen to what you have to say.

Farewell,
CapitalMonday

Hello there, ConfusedGlasses! First of all, I really like your name. It's pretty cool. Second of all, I absolutely love this poem, especially since I like free-verse poems a bit more than I like rhyming poems. I also feel as if I can relate to most of the lines. For example, I can really connect to the lines,

It’s so much easier to forget.
When I remember though, I don’t know what to do.

I also like the last stanza. It's kind of random and funny, and I like that. Although there is just one small thing I would change, and that's the punctuation. In some places you have a lot of punctuation, and in others you have little to none. Other than that, you did good. I'd give this 4.5 out of 5.

I like it!

It's late but Welcome to YWS. hmm, Happy one month here

Yeah, I agree on the lines where you can't decide for yourself, at times, & let others do it for you. Perhaps, a pre-determined intervention. It is relatable & I find it cute.

It does not rhyme yet it's still a poem—a free verse poetry. But don't forget to read it aloud especially the breaks or pauses. If you find it unpleasant, change it so your piece would not sound off instead much better.

Hope this helps. Keep going

> Cha

Hi.

So you have a very casual tone to your writing. It's conversational and friendly to read. If that makes sense XD

What Went Well

1. i like the fact that there isn't really a character here, it makes it universal
2. it's quite unspecific, happy and angry are broad concepts and you don't define them so they apply to everyone who reads it in a different way. clever.
3. The title. Just, simple and states what you're talking about.

Even Better If

1. the stanzas had more of a formulaic sturcture, it looked a bit all over the place
2. you had consistent use of punctuation, in some places it is absent
3. the repetition followed throughout the entire work.

I enjoyed reading this.
Keep writing.