Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Okay..a pretty neat little chapter here, it certainly was a fun read..although as a first chapter, it does seem to be missing a concrete hook of sorts here. Its a fun scene but there doesn't seem to have too much that makes you want to find out more...if you get the gist of what I mean there.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Two cookies, a slice of cake and now I’m opening up the freezer to find the ice cream. Yeah, it’s one of those nights. My hand finds the carton, and I actually consider grabbing a bowl. I reconsider.
Sounds like a pretty good night there, cause that definitely sound like a pretty awesome little midnight snack haul there from the fridge....hopefully they don't end up getting losing that wonderful haul of food to some late night catastrophe here.
Armed with mint chocolate chip and a spoon, I pass into No Man’s Land. I carefully pick my way around the pieces of broken dreams and land mines. I choose the long way around to avoid being caught in the crossfire. These night raids are so consistent that I can map in my head exactly where and when the conflict will rise. If only I could answer the question why. I check a clock and try to figure out where they would be. 1:30 am puts the main hallways and the east wing in danger zone. Exiting the kitchen through the south door, I double back into the library and sneak through the living room where I’m sure no one would actually be. While this path may be longer and more time-consuming, I successfully avoid the great hall altogether. My feet find the stairs when my eyes are lost in the dark. I rush past the rows of empty bedrooms and leave enemy territory. As I close my bedroom door behind me, I imagine myself as a great thief arriving safely from a glorious heist and, once more among friends, removes her mask. So I, too, remove my mask and invite my soul out from hiding. It refuses.
Okayy...this was a really interesting paragraph. I loved how you managed to make the action of someone stealing ice cream from the fridge in the middle of the night sound like some kind of high stakes heist film, it creates a lovely vibe here for the start of a chapter and its simultaneously making this more interesting while also adding a touch of extra humor. It also manages to showcase a bit of the personality of the person doing the heisting here...and that's always a plus. To top all that off, those last two lines add a touch of mystery to the whole thing too.
I plunge my spoon deep into the frozen tundra creating valleys of guilty pleasures. An image of my previous indulgences of the evening flash in my mind, but I push them away. Like a miner digging for gold, I search through the cool minty cream to find those chocolate nuggets. I can still hear the gunfire below. I ignore it; I'm no soldier.
Okay...considering the battle imagery has referred to normal things so far, I'm assuming perhaps someone is yelling at them for stealing the ice cream but that's one's a hard thing to judge there...at any rate, this is another touch of lovely imagery here, on one hand its a bit funny, but on the other hand, this guilt eating ice cream in the middle of the night seems to also be referring to something potentially bad having happened to this person at some point.
Occupying my mind on something other than the war going on around me, I explore the profound nature of mint chocolate chip ice cream. If one scoops a bite of just ice cream with no chocolate chips, it melts too quickly in the mouth with nothing solid to hold onto, like a frozen blizzard flying by. Yet, a bite with many chocolate chips has too much to chew and not enough cool cream as a reward. The perfect bite carefully balances the ratio of ice cream to chocolate chips, but these bites are few and far between. More often than not, we get stuck with too much or not enough.
Well, I have a feeling that is talking about more than just how to eat chocolate chip ice cream with the best taste...and well, that's definitely some good advice there, both for life in general and also for eating chocolate chip ice cream...and that's a combination that you can't complain about.
It is now that I realize I’ve spent the last five minutes of my life philosophizing ice cream. Yeah, it’s definitely one of those nights.
We all have those nights...
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, a pretty solid chapter, but I do think once again, there's the small fact that while its an interesting character and a pretty fun scene...it does kind of need to have a bit more of a hook here for the story itself.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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