Young Writers Society

Hello.. I don't know when you will get the notif that TahaT11n posted a comment on your literary work..still, i am gonna leave a review cus i really love the work.

first of all, the title- intoxication. well, i think it was a bit unclear to me..but, that was just my dull head. otherwise, i think the title is good with the theme of the poetry.

now, i'm gonna tell something that i myself hate to hear about my poems..still, it's sometimes important to know. and the thing is- the poem seemed to lack something. the real message is there and so is the lacking. i felt like it could use some more. and at some points, the message seemed to be a bit confusing - which can be both a strong and a weak point of the poem.

I agree with FiguringOutLife - the part of love, drops, scarlet and tears made me confused. still, i loved it. the half-implying message of the poem is what made me love it very much!!

It's just..the poem is written with simple words, a bit different arrangement of the words and it has a half-showing message in it- that's something i really, really enjoyed!!

keep it up with the work..but, remember , when writing poems like this one, try to make the message a bit clearer, specially make the lines more understandable. otherwise, the readers will just miss the flavour of the poem.

hope my short review helped!

This was really great, and really emotional. Wonderful job.

with more affection than I have felt-
its love
as
drops
of
scarlet-
the tears that fall from my eyes.

The different lines here just seem a little awkward to me, especially with the last line after it. However I think that if you put-
it's love as
drops
of
scarlet
That just doesn't seem as awkward to me. Just my opinion though

That was really the only thing I saw. Otherwise, it was phenomenal. My favorite part was the last two stanzas, and I can thoroughly connect with that.
Wonderful job!

Well, I wouldn't know anything about cutting, but I know people who do. I had one friend who told me what it felt like, she described it kind of like this.
Anyhow, this is a very deep poem, I can tell you went deep down to write this. The imagery and literary devices add a sense of emotion to this poem. It's a very strong poem, probably summing up why people cut accurately.
Great job! And may you feel better about life.