z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

True or False - the False Can Seem True

by Em101cats


It's true.

The false can seem true.

For with truth comes lies.

Without the truth

Lies and deception

Are never born.

Is it that the truth is too ugly

To tell the person?

Or is it that it's more fun

To release drama and false truth

And hurt an innocent person

For the reasons of the unknown?

The truth is the hues of the golden sunrise

Says the rules of friendship.

But if the truth is as dark and hurtful

As the lies, as the betrayal,

What is the good friend left to do?

Hurt their friend, or hurt their friend?

You see, it's a sad story to be told,

But lies are misunderstood.

The innocent fall for the drama's dark secret

And believe the false is the true.

And with the lie becoming masked

As the truth,

Someone falls short of knowing

That lies and the truth

Can often be as bad

As one or the other.

I'll pause to let you let that sink in.

*

So, after you have thought it over,

Please tell me this.

Is it good or bad to tell a lie? Or is it good or bad to tell the truth?

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User avatar
55 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 55

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Thu May 15, 2014 12:12 am
puppys3117 wrote a review...



Hey emy! Puppy's here for another review. Ok this might be a little shorter for 2 reasons 1) I'm on my iPod lol and 2) it's super hard to type on the iPod. GRR!!! Ok anywho the others pointed out pretty much everything to nitpick at. I want to answer the question myself like willow did if u don't mind me doing so. I think no matter what that truth is better. Sure I lied a few times in my life but who hasn't? I was young and find and didn't know right from wrong, but now that I do, it's all truth for me. I really liked this poem but again with willow I would like to see it split up a little bit. Who knows maybe it would run smoother. Ok that's all I have for now ( hopefully it's long enough for a review XD) keep it up, and I will be back when I'm not grounded from the computer anymore. ;)




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232 Reviews

Points: 5846
Reviews: 232

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Wed May 14, 2014 11:55 pm
WillowPaw1 wrote a review...



Hi, Em101cats.

Wow, this is one of those poems that really had me thinking. Like, really. And wit your question at the end, it seemed to sum it all up, give the reader an idea what this poem is about, and get the person thinking.

I'm going to answer the question myself, since it is a very interesting thing to ask:

Okay, I think the truth is good, but sometimes it can hurt. Right? For example, in a fantasy story, if a kid dies from some dragon or something, and their friend has to admit it to the parents, which might hurt them. In some cases, though, I like lying is good, because sometimes you can earn someone's trust from lying... Agh ! So confusing! xD

Anyways...

A small nitpick:

Without the truth
Lies and deception

After truth, there should be a comma.

I like the message and idea this sent with it. I have one suggestion, though, and that is to maybe make it into stanzas? I mean, there is a mini stanza at the end, but perhaps breaking this up might be good (doesn't have to be in usual stanza form like some of your poems, just leave a little space). I like how some lines are long, though, and some shorter. :) great job.

Keep writing, Em, can't wait for more of your work!

WillowPaw1~




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93 Reviews

Points: 390
Reviews: 93

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Wed May 14, 2014 11:54 pm
CesareBorgia wrote a review...



Hey, CesareBorgia, here to review,

I really liked this poem, it was a quick, easy and fun read. There are just some qualms that I have about this poem.

To release drama and false truth

And hurt an innocent person

For the reasons of the unknown?


There should be a question mark after person.

The truth is the hues of the golden sunrise

Says the rules of friendship.

But if the truth is as dark and hurtful

As the lies, as the betrayal,


So poetic! It's killing me!

So, after you have thought it over,

Please tell me this.

Is it good or bad to tell a lie? Or is it good or bad to tell the truth?


I really like this three lines, but it doesn't fit the poem. The poem was still good though.

So, after you have thought it over,

Please tell me this.

Is it good or bad to tell a lie? Or is it good or bad to tell the truth?


These lines are the best part of the poem, but they don't fit the poem. Saying it out loud with the rest of the poem, sounds weird.

Best of luck in writing,
CesareBorgia





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