J'adore la vie,
Je t'aime Maman,
Je vous aime, mes amis
Je t'aime, la vie
Tu es belle.
Vous ne m'aimez pas bien?
Tant pis pour toi,
Parce que la vie est belle.
Hi Gravity,Mailice here with a short review! Or should I write: Mailice ici avec une brève critique. A French poem is always something very original, because French is simply made to sound poetic. It has an extremely relaxed mood in it that shows you that behind it there is someone with a very great zest for life, an optimist, you could say. I like the simplicity with which the poem comes across, and how a wavy rise comes to create a short effect, to present the idea of why you love life in the first place.In the second paragraph you actually thank your mother, your friends and life, which is a great conclusion. I liked that you put it so simply there, so that people can understand what exactly is meant. I think even for those who don't know French, it's very expressive.With the last paragraph, you create this optimism that comes out here, where the character doesn't care if she's loved or not by everyone. It seems to me as if the character has just been through something difficult, or is now witnessing the absorption of the time she has lost. One thing, I noticed while reading:
Je t'aime, la vie
I speak very little French, but I could actually understand this! This is just a comment, not a review, as I don't know if I'd be a very good French reviewer. Good job!
Salut!Je m'appelle Kate, et je peux parler bien le francais (presque courrament).I like the idea of this poem, however some of the grammar isn't spot on. In the first line, it ought to be "*la* vie" because a definite article is necessary after any verb of like or dislike. The line after should be "*Elle* est belle"; c'est is only used when adjectives describe a general situation and not a specific noun. "Mamman" is typically spelled "Maman". The fourth line is confusing because it is not clear what you are trying to say with the current choice of conjugation. Right now it says something along the lines of "we like you my friends", so if you added a comma after "aimons" it could be correct, but I'm not sure if that's exactly what you meant here. Last thing with grammar: "je t'aime vie" should have a comma after "t'aime" for it to be directed at la vie. I would also put it as "*la* vie" again, although that is personal preference.This poem is super upbeat which I really enjoy. It breaks the tedium of mopey pieces. I just had one question about the base ideas: in the last stanza who does vous refer to? It isn't clear as you've addressed 2-3 people/ideas in the previous two stanzas. I think if you cleared that part up a little bit, the poem would be easier to grasp.Altogether I have to say this is impressive! Anyone who writes in French makes me really, really happy. Also, please don't take my suggestions as concrete; remember, you are the author and should always, always, always have the final say in a piece.Good job and keep writing!!!Grosses bises,Kate
Wonderful! Magnifique! I speak French (Kinda...but I am in French 3 in school.), and I still had to look up the translation for this poem. I find this funny, in a way that is a cute funny. I would have some different words in places, so that the translation comes out how you wanted it to be in English. That's all I have to say on a lift that is all about vie. Grand écrivent, le Grand travail, Continuent à aller, GreenTulip.
Nice poem Short and to the point.I really like the repetition in the 2nd stanza, but maybe it could've had one or two more lines leading up to Je t'aime vie. I also might have ended it with "Vous etes belles" instead of "Tu es belle", since you said "I love you" to a number of people.The last paragraph is my favorite. It gives a good view on disliking another, that it's really your own loss for looking lowly on life. (At least, I think that's where you were going)Overall, very good work~Hadj
115,320 Literary Works • 623,913 Reviews