Young Writers Society

Hi Dear Yubbies!!

This is Eros here to review another work of yours!!

This poem is a romantic one. It has a very deep meaning. I have drowned in the depths of the poem. It says that you should not play with anyone's feelings. You should not cheat them or decieve them in any ways.

I loved the line:
" Say what you mean, and please mean what you say ".
This line is very deep. It tells us that we should speak only what is true. We should not take love as a game or we should not do acting of loving someone for it hurts the heart of innocnts. Any injury done to the heart never heals completely. So we shoul speak with thinking. That is think before you speak the three little, deep, and magical words.

It was a great work!!Keep it up!

Okay...this is good. I have to adress a few issues hre though.

1. You use no ending punctuation. This makes finding the end of each idea hard. Without end punctuation, it makes this feel like one large blobbed ideas's instead of several that flow into the bigger idea. Make sure you include end punctuation.
2. You can easily break this into stanza's if you really needed to. Though it works like this, and this is only a suggestion.
3. Just make sure to read it over and make sure the progression of ideas is still on track with what you want to write about.

I hope that this review is useful to you, but if not I would like to wish you luck.

~From the reviewing station of GreenTulip.

Hello, hello, hello!
This is a really good sonnet. I personally had to write a sonnet last year and mine didn't turn out as good as yours. As far as the syllables go, you seem to have them all correct for each line. Your grammar and spelling is good.

When they don’t mean it, when its not true

They toss them around, no meaning it seems

They say it no matter, only so-so

Hey! Happy Review Day!

I have the hardest time writing sonnets, so props to you for accomplishing one!
I really like the theme of this whole poem, because I agree that there are so many people just throwing out those three words without any thought. I think you did a really job of telling people to "say what you mean, and please mean what you say".

One thing that bothered me a little bit was punctuation. I know that poetry is one of those things when you get free range to use whatever punctuation wherever you want. As long as there's a reason for it. But here it felt like you had really spontaneous punctuation, like you weren't trying to leave it out but you didn't include it everywhere that there should have been punctuation. So maybe just check through this quickly to figure out where you need commas and periods and stick them in the right places.

Also, I think that you could work on transitions some more. You jumped around a little too much, going to "I do"s and then to beaming faces, and cheat sheets, and I was just left a little bit confused. Maybe find a clearer way to connect all of the ideas and organize the effects (I don't think that's the right word, but I can't think of a better one) of saying "I love you".

I liked the last line, though, great way to tie in the title and make this into a cute and little bit romantic poem instead of just a critique of the way I love you's are thrown around. You did a nice job at making your point while also making poetry.
Keep Writing, and let me know if you have any questions or comments.