cry it out
Hello! this is my clever method of giving you a hunger games wake-up call!This, I believe, a new genre, although it is closely related to poetry. So if I were to review it as a poem, I would say you have done a very good job. As you know, the aim of poetry is to sound nice, or to convey meaning. Although this doesn't fit the first description, (I think that is why you put it in other,) It conveys alot of meaning for 15 syllables. One thing confuses me. It has been said in a previous review that not crossing out smile gives the poem a positive ending. But surely not crossing out smile means that she hasn't smiled yet? That isn't positive at all, or at least less so thanthe crossed out things.Hope this helps,Take That You Fiend!
I think this makes a great poem!It's as if we're going through a kind of healing process with this narrator, and we end up in a really positive way with that final 'smile' which hasn't been crossed out.Do you know that there are supposed to be 5 stages in the grieving process? I think you've just reinvented them here, and I think I prefer yours!
Ok, so this work is really clever. I love the way you have captured the way in which people in this situation thing and how you have managed to convince people to do the 'right' thing, as in, not beating yourself up.I think the formatting ideas are really smart.My one criticism is that I would have liked to see a longer piece here. You could add more and develop the list. I would love that.Well... good job. Keep writing.~BloodinkSeesFootage
What a short, powerful piece.I like the idea of it being a to-do list- it makes the writing seem more like a person struggle. A way of fixing oneself. I also like how "smile" at the end hasn't been crossed off.It's as if the more depressing items on the list are easier to do, and to cross off.But to show an outward sign of happiness is the hardest thing to do.You convey a very deep mesaage in just a few words, making this a very powerful piece.I really enjoyed the originality and premise of it keep writing!
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