Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Other » Realistic

E - Everyone

Get Over It

by ConverseFireGirl


To-Do List

cry it out

let go

forget him

repair heart

smile


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
433 Reviews


Points: 13351
Reviews: 433

Donate
Mon Feb 17, 2014 12:24 pm
TakeThatYouFiend wrote a review...



Hello! this is my clever method of giving you a hunger games wake-up call!
This, I believe, a new genre, although it is closely related to poetry. So if I were to review it as a poem, I would say you have done a very good job. As you know, the aim of poetry is to sound nice, or to convey meaning. Although this doesn't fit the first description, (I think that is why you put it in other,) It conveys alot of meaning for 15 syllables.
One thing confuses me. It has been said in a previous review that not crossing out smile gives the poem a positive ending. But surely not crossing out smile means that she hasn't smiled yet? That isn't positive at all, or at least less so thanthe crossed out things.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!




User avatar
17 Reviews


Points: 1438
Reviews: 17

Donate
Sun Jan 12, 2014 5:38 pm
mina wrote a review...



I think this makes a great poem!
It's as if we're going through a kind of healing process with this narrator, and we end up in a really positive way with that final 'smile' which hasn't been crossed out.

Do you know that there are supposed to be 5 stages in the grieving process?
I think you've just reinvented them here, and I think I prefer yours! :)




User avatar
530 Reviews


Points: 240
Reviews: 530

Donate
Sun Jan 12, 2014 4:48 pm
Renard wrote a review...



Ok, so this work is really clever. :D

I love the way you have captured the way in which people in this situation thing and how you have managed to convince people to do the 'right' thing, as in, not beating yourself up.

I think the formatting ideas are really smart.

My one criticism is that I would have liked to see a longer piece here. You could add more and develop the list. I would love that.

Well... good job. Keep writing.

~BloodinkSeesFootage




User avatar
41 Reviews


Points: 1963
Reviews: 41

Donate
Sun Jan 12, 2014 3:07 pm
Inkpot wrote a review...



What a short, powerful piece.
I like the idea of it being a to-do list- it makes the writing seem more like a person struggle. A way of fixing oneself.
I also like how "smile" at the end hasn't been crossed off.
It's as if the more depressing items on the list are easier to do, and to cross off.
But to show an outward sign of happiness is the hardest thing to do.
You convey a very deep mesaage in just a few words, making this a very powerful piece.
I really enjoyed the originality and premise of it :)
keep writing!





The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.
— Amelia Earhart