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The First Dimension: Prologue

by MariaRowlands1


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

1997, 2:30am, March 3rd, Singleton Hospital, Singleton, NSW, Australia It was a dark, rainy night when it happened. The human child died and in her place was a fledgling girl. She was held by the human mother and started anew. This is not your typical fairy tale; this is a story of life and death, real and unreal, truth and lie, and above all, The Three Dimensions. I don't understand it all yet but this is what I do know and can tell you. I am Diana Jane. Welcome to the modern Faerie Land.


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Fri Jul 30, 2021 6:21 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

It was a dark, rainy night when it happened. The human child died and in her place was a fledgling girl. She was held by the human mother and started anew. This is not your typical fairy tale; this is a story of life and death, real and unreal, truth and lie, and above all, The Three Dimensions. I don't understand it all yet but this is what I do know and can tell you. I am Diana Jane. Welcome to the modern Faerie Land.


Well as far as prologues go, that one doesn't quite read like one here...this almost sound half like a blurb, but I think this is really more suited to be something along the lines of a first paragraph to a first chapter there, with the whole vibe that it appears to be shooting for and the nice bit of shock value we have here that really does get your attention quite well here.

At any rate, moving onto to talking about said shocking start here, I love how casually that you've just straight up mentioned the fact that a human child just straight up died and got replaced by this other person. The fact that there's barely anytime to process it before the opening is moving on into other things makes it just that much more powerful and that really is a lovely way to star things off there.

All the talk of dimensions and of course the whole death and life serves just the icing on the cake there to all of that. You get the sense that there's a complex world behind all of this and that adds a lovely touch there to make you want to dive into this world and figure out what's going on in this world to make things be the way that they currently are here. At any rate, it seems like a story that I would read here. :D

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Thu May 09, 2013 5:24 am
MariaRowlands1 says...



Listen. This is just a rough draft for my story. I'm just posting it part by part to see what others think. Wait for the first chapter before correcting me. I work differently to other writers.




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Wed May 08, 2013 1:47 am
Aley wrote a review...



So this verbally sounds very good, a nice easy newsy story that we can follow, but it isn't clear, and it is more showing than I care for. At the start, we get a very news story introduction, date, time, place. For me, that was alright, but it felt very detached from the story, and it didn't make the story sound like a story, or a fairy tale. Most fairy tales start out: There was once a mother of three, and her first child was a good child, strong, healthy, loud, and very full of energy, and her second child was a good child, strong, healthy, loud, and very full of energy, and her third child was not her child at all, but a faerie. When the mother had the third child, the human child died, and the mother preyed and preyed, until the faeries gave up a child to be the mother's child.
Instead, we get a news cast?
The next thing I'd like to point out is your listing of what the story is about. Typically that is done in an essay format. The first paragraph needs a thesis. This is not the case in a novel. Novels just jump right into the story, they don't summarize it first for the reader. Similarly, a prologue is supposed to be used to introduce pertinent information that really isn't that important. For instance, this could be a scene of the child dying and the replacing of the child, or even just the mother discovering the difference, or the mother not noticing and just the reader being privvy to it. It's used to inform the reader, but not be a necessary part of the story.
This is an introduction paragraph to either a news article or an essay, so it confuses me. DX




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Tue May 07, 2013 11:34 pm
kayfortnight wrote a review...



This isn't really a prologue. It reads closer to a blurb-the paragraph on the back of the book giving information about the plot. A prologue is more like a small chapter from a point of view you don't use in the rest of the book, or an event years before that sets up the story. Hope this helps.




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Thu Apr 11, 2013 9:07 am
GrapeNerd wrote a review...



Oh, this looks interesting! One question though, what's the plot of this story? Because, I don't really understand anything right now. But, nonetheless, I think it's really good. I especially love how you called the place or city Faerie Land. It sounds scifi-ish and fairy tailish, I like it! Keep writing!






My style of writing involves hiding the general idea of the plot. This way it'll keep you wanting more and wondering what is next. And I'm glad you like it. :)




"We're just all nosy little busybodies."
— SirenCymbaline the Kiwi