Young Writers Society

Home » Forums » Creativity Corner » Writing Activities

The "I wrote a poem, but don't need reviews" thread



User avatar
40 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 139
Reviews: 40
Sat Jan 23, 2021 3:44 pm
rida says...



AustereMelodies wrote:Its not about the hate.

And it can't be about the joy of things.

"You don't care for all the world."

The answer is: we can't.

We are but one person.

And it takes a village

to raise a child.

So imagine how many people

must stand together

to end all this pain.

Then look around

and ask yourself

what you are willing to lose

so that others might gain.


Is this from “a series of unfortunate events?”
  





User avatar
203 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 8110
Reviews: 203
Fri Feb 05, 2021 6:22 pm
View Likes
Liminality says...



understanding_empathy.txt

>> it is always one-sided
>> deep beneath thoughts
>> you feel it brimming
>> don't you?
>> YES / NO
>> very well
>> i feel it brimming
>> beneath deep thoughts
>> my empathy is one-sided
>> black-and-white interface
>> expendable character
>> in suit and tie
>> has a million and one hands
. . . to kiss and make up with
so that the people with feelings
will never have to feel responsible
for the domino fall of binary numbers.
01 . . . 11 . . . 10
  





User avatar
147 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 10236
Reviews: 147
Mon Feb 08, 2021 2:04 am
View Likes
Carina says...



Spoiler! :
word barfed this sappy poem in a pad today and didn't mind it, so i thought i'd dump it here :p

time seems to melt from one day to the next -
over and over, the people and places blur together.
but one memory stays constant:
    you.
some people say "i love you"
but i don't need to hear the words
to know it is true —
from little touches to
the hidden smiles for when
i want to leave and escape —
from the goodbye kisses while i sleep,
to the breakfast in bed to wake me up —
why do i need to hear the words
when you invisibly tell me
    everyday?

we met seven years ago, now.
and the first thing you said to me —
    "will you be my hydrogen?"
as you slid a chemistry sheet my way.
a blank paper, with one element still unclaimed:
the first of the periodic table,
the number one,
the building block of the universe.
my answer now is the same, and always will be
across the universe, across time, across space —
    "i will be your hydrogen, always."
chaotic lazy
—Vincian

the queen of memes
—Yoshikrab

secret supreme overlord of yws
—Tuckster

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/5
—Anonymous Yelp Review
  





User avatar
5 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 363
Reviews: 5
Tue Feb 23, 2021 3:04 am
View Likes
ayelenwritesstuff says...



innocuous conversations
one topic leads to another
you crack a cruel joke about me
what were you hoping for?
acceptance, validation, solidarity?
well, it worked
they're all laughing
but
not
me
your dismissal of my hurt tears the wound further
and
it's just a joke
lighten up
take a joke
is like placing a rag on a gash
oozing with pain
as joke after joke bores deeper and deeper



but when you finally realize the struggle you caused
it will be nothing but a scar
you can't change a scar
scars are
forever



sorry this suckssss
:smt051
  





User avatar
5 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 363
Reviews: 5
Tue Feb 23, 2021 3:07 am
ayelenwritesstuff says...



getting major monika ddlc vibes from this :P I like it a lot!!
  





User avatar
203 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 8110
Reviews: 203
Sat Mar 06, 2021 2:56 pm
View Likes
Liminality says...



Problems I have with Technique and not Totality

People crush sunflowers
too large to fit
in a jean pocket.

Yellow ochre dye
that weighs as heavy as
things you say, but don't mean,
things you mean, but don't say.

Sometimes I think you expect
what you're not willing to give.
Sometimes I think you lie
when you say you've given anything.

Reaching into my skull with those
leafhopper fingers, implanting the seeds
of doubt that I can ever be right about something
without your consent.

You grow vines connecting the wrong dots,
forcing us to think in fragments,
to preach in broken stems
disconnected from the roots
of practice.
  





User avatar
97 Reviews



Gender: Genderfluid
Points: 178
Reviews: 97
Tue Mar 09, 2021 10:49 pm
View Likes
InuYosha says...



Image

the clouds float by
the sun leaps high
the grass sways fast
the souls rise past
the peak of noon
and come back soon
When life brings you down, don't care at all, because the last thing you want is life being smug over it's victory against you.


-yoshi

[they/them]

certified wierdo

certified yoshi
  





User avatar
97 Reviews



Gender: Genderfluid
Points: 178
Reviews: 97
Thu Mar 11, 2021 10:15 pm
View Likes
InuYosha says...



Yoshikrab wrote:
Image

we grapple hold
with fragile roots
and leaves that cannot bear our fruits

but when the wind
comes brushes forth
at least, we're still planted on earth

we may not be
able to pledge
that we'll keep all our foliage

but, still at least
we can daresay
that we still can't be blown away

Link to original comment
When life brings you down, don't care at all, because the last thing you want is life being smug over it's victory against you.


-yoshi

[they/them]

certified wierdo

certified yoshi
  





User avatar
121 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 110
Reviews: 121
Sat Mar 13, 2021 2:40 am
View Likes
manilla says...



Some song lyrics for a school project with the double meaning of what the downsides of religion can be, and also, freeing oneself of toxic beliefs to self love!
---
Verse 1
Praying to gods
Only gets you so far
Obeying the laws
Cannot save you, my star

Look to the sky
And tell me what you see
You say that it’s raining, and when it rains
It’s God who cries

Pre-Chorus
But look at your eyes

Chorus
Ebony washed to a pale gray-brown
What have they done to you
Not far outside of town
You lead yourself to believe that it’s true
That the only mistake that’s here, it’s you
Don’t let them cut you down
Don’t keep your bible around
‘Cause we won’t be needing that anytime soon

Verse 2
You know your god gave you a temple
Not one you need to assemble
Decorate it, wear it with pride
Find your own religion
Since those lies are your addiction
The world knows much you’ve cried

Pre-Chorus
But look at your eyes

Chorus
Ebony washed to a pale gray-brown
What have they done to you
Not far outside of town
You lead yourself to believe that it’s true
That the only mistake that’s here, it’s you
Don’t let them cut you down
Don’t keep your bible around
‘Cause we won’t be needing that anytime soon

Outro
Blocking out the noises
Only gets you so far
Faking your choices
Cannot save you, my star
Pronouns: she/they

From the wild manila folder of YWS's office.

When the last tree has fallen
And the rivers are poisoned
You cannot eat money


I do reviews: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=188&t=108365
  





User avatar
203 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 8110
Reviews: 203
Mon Mar 22, 2021 6:52 am
View Likes
Liminality says...



tw: compassion fatigue, cynicism and one mention of death - please take care of yourselves!

I am constantly recovering from compassion fatigue
before somebody
throws me back into it again,
like an ant tries to crawl out of a drinking glass
antennae damp and shivering
only to be flicked with a spoon into the depths.
How futile. How hilarious. And you ask me why
I don’t believe in anything, or take death
so seriously anymore.
  





User avatar
147 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 10236
Reviews: 147
Mon May 17, 2021 4:23 pm
View Likes
Carina says...



it's funny.

i used to think it hurt that you never
    talk to me anymore --

but now i think it hurts more to let your
    sly smile and whimsical words wrap itself around me like a slithering snake worming into my head slinking its way into my brain as you occupy my mind for days on end like a parasite feeding yourself the attention you force out my mouth like vomit as i try to breathe just breathe for air

you have suffocated me.

and i refuse to let the words "i love you too" be my dying breath.
chaotic lazy
—Vincian

the queen of memes
—Yoshikrab

secret supreme overlord of yws
—Tuckster

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/5
—Anonymous Yelp Review
  





User avatar
15 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 581
Reviews: 15
Wed May 19, 2021 1:48 am
View Likes
Rodionandaxe says...



This is where this goes I guess,

Blind lot

He talked of peace
On the day he murdered his brother
And humble he said he was
Under his gold crown 
And kind he said he was
While holding his sword aloft
And accept him we did on what he said
For we were a blind lot.

Toodles :D
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. " - by Dr Seuss
  





User avatar
10 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 33
Reviews: 10
Tue Oct 19, 2021 9:12 am
View Likes
cryptologenic says...



[an old poem written in a rush]

there's something outside but i'm too scared to look it wants to come in i hear the
scratch scratch scratch
pens are flying across paper but i'm still sitting there unsure of what to do the ink at my pen pooling and i hear a
crash
of the waves pulling at my feet and the taste of salt in my mouth i am finally free
  








Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.
— Madeleine L'Engle, Author