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Firebird



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135 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 135
Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:49 am
niccy_v says...



An eagle/human falling in love. This is all i have actually... got. I am reworking the ending. So far it is not worthy of people reading because pretty much, it's horrible.
If anybody would like to read it just pm me...

I do not expect much of an in depth response to this, but anything you could do would be greatly appreciated.

An i know the beginning is like... major twilight related. My bad, but it fit so well at the time, and i cannot bear to, myself, change it. NO VAMPIRES so happy reading.
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Firebird.doc
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Writing gives my life purpose
  





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160 Reviews



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Reviews: 160
Mon Dec 22, 2008 9:56 pm
Krupp says...



As it is, I've not read Twililght or seen the movie so i can safely say you won't hear me commenting on that at all...

so I'll start reading this today, and I'll post a review/critique when i can later.
I'm advertising here: Rosetta...A Determinism of Morality...out May 25th...2010 album of the year, without question.
  





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273 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 273
Wed Dec 24, 2008 1:12 pm
Lost_in_dreamland says...



This was good, I'll get you an advanced crit done soon, maybe next week...?
-Kirsten xxx
for what are we without words and stories?
  





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135 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 135
Thu Dec 25, 2008 12:50 am
niccy_v says...



Ah sweet. As I said in the request - whenever you can is all good!

It is Chrissy so I'm thinking the forum might be a little dead crit-wise?
Writing gives my life purpose
  





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312 Reviews

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Sat Dec 27, 2008 6:22 pm
Mars says...



EDIT: Nice work.
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Firebird.doc
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'life tastes sweeter when it's wrapped in poetry'
-the wombats


critiques // nano
  





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51 Reviews



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Reviews: 51
Sun Jan 11, 2009 8:30 pm
*DaughteroftheMoon* says...



I'm sorry to say this but I read the first five pages and all the while thinking this was a scene that I could read out directly from Twilight. I think that you should take out that part and make it your own. Because after the Twilight part scene was over it was actually pretty interesting and fresh. Put some of your own on in there. I know that you said you couldn't bear to change it, but, to much like Twilight. This isn't a review, I just wanted to tell you that it was interesting. Keep it up, and good luck!
~Alyss
Amor Vincit Omnia
  





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160 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 3925
Reviews: 160
Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:21 am
Krupp says...



niccy_v wrote:It is Chrissy so I'm thinking the forum might be a little dead crit-wise?


You're not the only one who's been thinking that...
I'm advertising here: Rosetta...A Determinism of Morality...out May 25th...2010 album of the year, without question.
  





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7 Reviews



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Points: 890
Reviews: 7
Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:01 pm
Seraphania says...



I'm reading it now, and I'll edit this and give comments when I'm done, okay? Sounds great, though.
Novel Wordcount: 58,001 words
  





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95 Reviews



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Sun May 03, 2009 8:51 pm
ZaddieCaso says...



it seems to be just a version of twilight, to similar for my liking but at the same time you have an amazing writing style no matter how similar it is to that of Stephanie Meyher
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

Jean-Paul Sartre
  





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42 Reviews



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Points: 1422
Reviews: 42
Mon Oct 31, 2011 2:56 am
alabasterwolveness says...



I loved the story! I had to change a few words here and there but other then that... WOW it was just amazing! Im hoping to read more from you about that! It was something I loved reading, Im glad I got to read it!
Attachments
Firebird by niccy_v.doc
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~Lady Death~
Down in the dark, alone at night. Bleeding and Torn... Broken in the light
  








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