Gadi. wrote:The Last WordThere it is—a faux pas in society, ((of instead of in))lying ((comma)) feeble on this very page, ((I feel you can put a period here))a cube, a puzzle piece, a block—something like a sizzling fluorescentlight in an underground chamber,resembling a migraine in the crooksand corners of your brain. It does not need to call out to you to gainattention, ((you need another it)) does not need to roar ((comma)) andwave its arms. Universal—like blood palpitating through veins—an epidemic, worldwide pathogen. Alzheimer’s, dementia—they are medical syndromes that plague theaged— ((everything after dementia kills the mystique of it in my opinion)) and yet this can destruct eventhe eight-year-old with her blue ((I know there is someway to reword this line to make it more eloquent, but its too late for me to come up with anything. Sorry))daypack, carving her homeworkwith a blank mind, a pompous voidthat rankles at many innocent blue-collar citizens. This is a poet’s deathsentence, sitting on desks with itslegs springing up and down, up anddown: ((I personally don't like the repetition of 'up and down')) If you pick out a fight with him,be ready to lose: you will never laugh last, never win last, never get the last word.
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