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Anxiety



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Sun Jan 07, 2007 4:46 am
Emerson says...



A note on the subject. I've recently found out that I probably have General Anxiety Disorder, and hyperactivity. This poem is an embodiment of my feelings and thoughts. It's not very good I think but... It does what I wanted it to do. The indents are patternless to represent my lack of pattern and train of thought. I hope they did what I wanted.

A chill
....Up your arm
............Down your
Side and a
.....Feeling
That every-
.............Thing might jump
Out at
..You. Can you
Hold me
........Or tell me
That it
.............Will stop? But
.......Why won’t
It stop? I
...Try, but
......You know I
..don’t Want
to stop life.
....But I
do need this
.........................to STOP.

Shut off
...........The words and
...The worry.
................Close my
........Eyes for me.
..Make me
...............................Shut up. Please?
.........Give me
..Five minutes
.........I can’t
..............................................................Do this Any-
More.
Last edited by Emerson on Sun Jan 07, 2007 11:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
  





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Sun Jan 07, 2007 5:01 am
Fand says...



I'm not sure that normally I would enjoy this kind of poem, but given the circumstances behind it--and how well I can relate--I found it incredibly (almost freakishly) accurate. I'm hoping that writing it gave you some kind of relief, hon, and remember I'm just a PM away. :)
Bitter Charlie :: Shady Grove, CA :: FreeRice (162,000/1,000,000)
  





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Sun Jan 07, 2007 5:02 am
Emerson says...



Yeah its crap without the background. Should I give an authors note on the background of the poem?
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
  





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Sun Jan 07, 2007 10:53 pm
Fand says...



Maybe... it would certainly help other readers understand it, and I think it really improves the individual's interpretation of its quality. :D
Bitter Charlie :: Shady Grove, CA :: FreeRice (162,000/1,000,000)
  





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Sun Jan 07, 2007 11:25 pm
Emerson says...



added zee note.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
  





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Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:23 am
yoha_ahoy says...



Very cool. Nearly sent shivers up my spine. Make me feel twitchy too. Very effective Clau. :) And the back story helps. It's nice of you to share it. *thumbs up* ;D
@(^_^)@
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Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:28 am
Crysi says...



Wow. I tried to read this a few times, and after about the fifth time I think I actually got through it. It made me feel really jumpy and took me back to a place I hate to visit.

So, I'd say your poem is effective. ;) I don't know how many times I've had those rapid-fire thoughts scream through my brain, and this was an uncomfortably accurate representation. Excellent job.
Love and Light
  





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Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:29 am
Emerson says...



*feels awesome* yay, I'm affective!

*Is proud* Thanks you guys! It means so much to me :-)
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
  





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Sun Feb 04, 2007 4:45 am
3-Damentional says...



This is good 'cause I normally don't get other people's poetry. It wold've been a whole lot less understandable w/o the background but I get it. Good stuff.
The imagintion is only your mind trying to set itself free.
  





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Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:22 pm
Sumi H. Inkblot says...



It's interesting, though I could not relate to it. Could you tell me what this type of poetry is called? I've encountered it here and there.
When I finished it I looked at your signature. They both seem to be related.

Shut off
...........The words and
...The worry.
................Close my
........Eyes for me.

I like this part best. Overall, 9/10, and I can see that you put your heart into it. :)
ohmeohmy
  





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Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:23 pm
Emerson says...



Heh, thanks!

Though, I consider this one of my worst poems. Go find something better of mine to read! Thanks anyhow.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
  





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Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:25 pm
Sumi H. Inkblot says...



The thing is I saw part of the poem "Child" and decided against finishing it >_>U
ohmeohmy
  





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Fri Mar 14, 2008 2:55 am
Gadi. says...



I like this!!! I saw this on the link on your Emotional Poetry tutorial, but I have to disagree--this is not "emotional" in the sense you were speaking about. This is more like a poem about a rush of adrenaline, about a life moving too fast. I think.

I didn't find any mistakes, but I must tell you that this is so bizzarely experimental for you that I am proud but also a little creeped.

What I liked about it is that you made the fragments connect--an unskilled, bad poem would be fragmented and slit, but this is rather connected and understandable. The rhythm doesn't start from the beginning, but it sort of builds itself up until the end, and the adrenaline is dispersed.

So I liked it.
my world isn't only beautiful
it is so far away
  





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Wed Apr 23, 2008 2:47 pm
The Drowsy Kaye says...



A very nice way of expressing feelings concerning this matter.

I've seen poems in this sort of structure, and many times, they don't work. But here, it's just perfect.

Keep up the good work.

The Drowsy Kaye. :D
  





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Thu May 08, 2008 9:42 pm
Talking_Pinata says...



DX You stirred up my disorder! *shakes fist* Oh well.

Yeah, you see, I'm almost positive I have some sort of anxiety disorder because at random times or at random places I'll suddenly become very nervous for no explainable reasons. It's not the same time every time, and its not the same place every place. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be sick but I never am.

Alas, my mother doesn't believe in mental disorders so I can't get diagnosed. They yell at me when I get nervous DX.

You get a golden star *.*
  








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