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LMS V: exorcism of a love that never was



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Thu Sep 26, 2019 3:03 pm
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niteowl says...



Perhaps it's unhealthy to dwell on the past, to exhume feelings that should be long gone by now, but I find myself dwelling anyway, so let's make a project of it.

work/niteowl/On-Cigarettes-and-Limerence-142109-a prologue of sorts as I plan to dive into the nitty-gritty of this non-romance.

Poems may be 18+ for language and sexual content. Some will also address mental illness. I will post relevant warnings on each entry.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Fri Sep 27, 2019 4:57 pm
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niteowl says...



Playlist Songs that make me think of this person/situation (in progress)(also yes I have a slight Taylor Swift problem lol)

Katy Perry "Never Really Over"
Katy Perry "The One that Got Away"
Taylor Swift "Red"
Taylor Swift "Fearless"
Taylor Swift "Stay Beautiful"
Taylor Swift "Invisible"
Taylor Swift "Hey Stephen"
Taylor Swift "White Horse"
Taylor Swift "Cold As You"
Taylor Swift "Sparks Fly"
Taylor Swift "Enchanted"
Taylor Swift "Last Kiss"
Taylor Swift "Long Live"
Taylor Swift "Holy Ground"
Taylor Swift "All Too Well"
Taylor Swift "I Almost Do"
Taylor Swift "The Story of Us"
Taylor Swift "All You Had to Do Was Stay"
Taylor Swift "Blank Space"
Taylor Swift "I Wish You Would"
Taylor Swift "Clean"
Taylor Swift "Jump That Fall"
Taylor Swift "Come In With the Rain"
Missy Higgins "Where I Stood"
Michelle Branch "Where Are You Now"
Michelle Branch "Find Your Way Back"
Michelle Branch "Sooner or Later"
Michelle Branch "Everywhere"
Michelle Branch "Heartbreak Now"
Paramore-"Tell Me How"
Yolanda Be Cool and DCUP-We No Speak Americano
Edward Maya and Vika Juliana-Stereo Love
Shakira-Waka Waka
Melendi-Loco
Melendi "Con Solo Una Sonrisa"
Melendi "Por Amarte Tanto"
Lady Gaga "Bad Romance"
Shakira "La Tortura"
Shakira "Dia Especial"
Shakira "Lo Imprescindible"
Jade Bird "Good Woman"
Maggie Rogers "Light On"
Maggie Rogers "Overnight"
Dido "White Flag"
Lady Gaga "Perfect Illusion"
Ria Mae "Not Your Type"
Brandi Carlisle "Every Time I Hear That Song"
Metric "Now or Never"
Julieta Venegas-Limon y Sal
Lorde "Green Light"
Lorde "The Louvre"
Lorde "Liability"
Lorde "Writer in the Dark"
Lorde "Supercut"
Serena Ryder "Weak in the Knees"
Kesha "Your Love is My Drug"
R.E.M. "Losing My Religion"
Fall Out Boy "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me"
Fall Out Boy "7 Minutes in Heaven"
Fall Out Boy "Dead on Arrival"
Fall Out Boy "The Pros and Cons of Breathing"
Passenger "The Wrong Direction"
Passenger "A Thousand Matches"
Passenger "The Way that I Need You"
Camila Cabello "All These Years"
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Fri Sep 27, 2019 5:11 pm
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niteowl says...



#1 the last "great love of my life"

i will never love again
the way i did that summer,
like a good girl tasting wine
and getting drunk for the first time.

the way i wandered foreign streets,
lost, confused, broken,
inhaling desire and exhaling heartbreak,
every step wishing i could forget you.

no one will ever linger
on my diary pages
for years and years,
a symbol of everything i lost.

one day, perhaps,
someone will love me
in a way you never could,
the kind of love that holds hands
and kisses in the daylight
and doesn't play games.

and i will want to love them back,
but now i fear my own heart
and i will try too hard to dim
my own intensity
because i can't be
too much
too loud
too crazy.

i can't love anyone the way i loved you,
and that should be a good thing,
but then why do i miss that aching desire?

Line count: 28
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Sun Oct 06, 2019 3:20 am
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niteowl says...



Okay so this is the poem I had in mind when I put that 18+ warning on this bad boy. So yeah. Enspoilered for language and mild sexual content.

the lunch special: envy with a side of lust

Spoiler! :

we're eating lunch in dublin
with the boyfriend girls
when you get up to use the restroom.

free of the extra testosterone,
they launch into talk
of lingerie shopping
and orgasms over skype.

and i should be glad
to be free in this foreign land,
unencumbered by love an ocean away,

but i can't help but want
to have something worth missing
even though i know better
than to think anyone would want me,
that you would want me.

when you return,
my face reddens as i notice
your arms, your eyes, your smile
and i am fucked
even though you will never touch me.


Lines: 20
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Mon Oct 14, 2019 1:25 am
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niteowl says...



the first walk home

here it starts: on a beach
with the people i now wish
i had never met
(whether that includes you or not,
i haven't decided)

here it starts: with hesitant sips
of don miguel and grocery store wine,
still not understanding
how people drink this stuff.

here it starts: a walk home,
you and me, up spanish hills.
i babble, you listen,
and though we've just met,
it feels natural, safe, familiar,
all the things i do not have here.

here it starts: not with ecstasy or tears
nor secrets nor unclothed truths,
just two people breaking new ground
as we walk home in the dark.

Lines: 19
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Fri Oct 18, 2019 4:41 pm
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niteowl says...



falling upstairs

the day i turned twenty,
i learned my dog died,
and still i tried to celebrate.

an open invitation
turned into circles of classmates
and i stood alone,
because who would make room for me?

several wines later,
you led me up the stairs
from downtown to my place
and i talked about my dog.

how many times did we walk those stairs?
what did i tell you on those dark spanish nights?

i don't remember,
but i know that on one of those steps,
a piece of my heart lies
right where i left it for you.

Lines: 17
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Forever is composed of nows.
— Emily Dickenson