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The Risen



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Points: 10024
Reviews: 210
Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:00 pm
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elysian says...



The Risen


You've died and gone to heaven. You wake up in a room along with five other people, and while you assume you are about to find peace, instead, God decides you're more useful on Earth, armed with special powers, to fight demons that pollute the humans. However, as you did some dark things before you died, Lucifer could still get his hands on you if you fall to evil once again. You have six years to live, and once your time is up you could be captured by the Devil, or rewarded in Heaven. What path will you choose?

Characters

listed from most to least important.


Kaydence Eagle: MC
Sebastian Crow: MC
Aileen Diame: Supporting
Indiana Rose: Supporting
Xander Lee: Supporting
Archie Rose: Supporting

Gaderel: Guardian Angel
Alaric Kovar: Demon Leader

-needs to relate to protagonist in some way
-how did he become a demon? half human/half demon parents?
-what is his goal?
-when did he become evil?
-why did he become evil?
-what makes him stand apart?

past lives:

Kaydence:
Cam Tutrow: Kayden's abusive boyfriend
Katie James: Kayden's best friend
Jai Henderson: Katie's fiance

Sebastian:
girl that was pushed down the stairs name TBD
parents names TBD

Aileen:
parents names TBD
brother's name TBD


Indiana Rose:
parents names TBD

Archie Rose:
parents names TBD
friend's names TBD


Xander Lee:
parents names TBD
younger brother (15) name TBD
two younger sisters (twins, 8) names TBD
robbers names TBD


Places

They all died on March 9th, 2010. It is currently the year 2110.



1st Home: Mississippi
Spoiler! :
Their first home and where the setting begins is in Mississippi. They live in a one-story house the has multiple rooms but is kind of run down and messy, not very modern, and cramped for how many of them live there. It's longer than it is tall. Not much to say about this one because they are only there for the first two chapters.


2nd Home: New York City
Spoiler! :
Apartment D31. I already explained this in my novel, so I'll just put quotes of that here.
Our apartment was painted different hues of grey and white, with furniture to match. There was a wall-length window facing Times Square in the living room, making the space feel even bigger than it already was. Just before the living room when you walked in was a small kitchen that fed directly into it.

To the right of the living room, a hallway with doors to three different, plain rooms, and one small bathroom. To the left of the living room was another hallway with only two bedrooms and a laundry room.


The bedrooms are all white with grey curtains, in each one.


Notes

A running list of things I need to work on/add in the second draft.


Spoiler! :
General:
-show don't tell.
-delete anna
-punctuation
-word variation
-fix run-on sentences
-make it clear where the setting is from the beginning
-thoughts need to be more clear
-dialogue always goes on a new line.
-capitalization
-why teens?
-why the threat of Lucifer?

C1:
-add more about tattoo
-info dump, no need to tell so much
-revise Kaydence and Bash's fight
-leave more questions rather than answers to keep readers interested
-use dialogue to help give info
-maybe add a prologue to give background and then flash forward to this scene
-argument SCENE NEEDS WORKKKK.

C2:
-long vs. short sentences. long when thinking, short when angry.
-why is bash so angry? give more logical reasoning.
-inner conflict because of anger to tenderness
-timing with Kayden's episode
-instead of feeling his anger she would read it
-go back through mood swings and make sure they make sense

C3:
-look back at the way you described the beach house, make it more clear.
-WHAT COLOR WAS THE KITCHEN yellow YEAH WELL NO ONE SAW THAT.
-go over the scene with Katie and Jai, it's a bit forced.
-add more padding to transition scenes
-consider not including everything in this memory, but instead spreading it out to multiple flashbacks.
-
The rest of the car ride was mostly him driving way too fast and silence.

make this more clear of what is going on.
-IS THAT KITCHEN PAINTED A CERTAIN COLOR OR...? I wrote yellow kit- DESCRIBE THE KITCHEN COLOR PLZ.
-KAYDEN DRINK YOUR COFFEE WHAT A WASTE TO MAKE IT AND THEN POUR IT DOWN THE DRAIN GOSH.
-why isn't katie more WOrrIED????????

C4:
-add more complaining from Archie about how long the ride is.
-just have Kayden pay for he candy instead of making him put it back.
-https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=150&t=53411
-less is more in action scenes, make it short and snappy
-watch the news at their new home and see gas station explosion in next chapter.
-Indiana didn't choose her name therefore shouldn't affect her personality ya dummy.
-STOP ROLLING YOUR EYES OMG
-why's a demon working a job at a gas station?
-Did he just show up?
-How'd he get the job?
-Is he the only one with an active power?
-What if he got indisposed?
-Would they have to call of demon hunting just because he's the only one with an active power, or...?
-make who is speaking more clear in the car
Last edited by elysian on Fri Jun 15, 2018 12:34 am, edited 3 times in total.
elysian: (adj.) beautiful or creative; divinely inspired; peaceful and perfect.

formally lylas.
  





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210 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 10024
Reviews: 210
Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:45 pm
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elysian says...



Character Profiles:

Listed in Alphabetical Order


Aileen Diame

Spoiler! :
Basic Statistics

Name: Aileen Diame
Age: 17
Nationality: French
Hometown: Paris, France
Current Residence: New York, New York
Occupation: demon killer
Income: 0
Talents/Skills: calming touch, healing abilities, heightened instincts level-headedness, strong, peaceful, graceful, sweet
Salary: N/A
Birth order: first born
Siblings (describe relationship): little brother, very close and very protective when she was alive
Spouse (describe relationship): - none
Children (describe relationship): - none
Grandparents (describe relationship): - none
Grandchildren (describe relationship): - none
Parents (describe relationship): mother and father, very much like her mother but her mother passed away when Aileen was 16.
Significant Others (describe relationship): -
Relationship skills: she has really good relationship skills because of her peaceful nature

Physical Characteristics:

Height: 5’7
Weight: 122
Race: white
Eye Color: piercing light blue
Hair Color: medium brown with highlights
Glasses or contact lenses? nope
Skin color: pale white
Shape of Face: diamond-shaped face
Distinguishing features: she has piercing eyes, a small gap in her front teeth, and a very structured face
How does he/she dress? Laid back and casual, doesn’t put too much thought into it. Blues, whites, and greys.
Mannerisms: she is quiet and has a quiet confidence. She is also touchy-feely because of her power
Habits: she used to drink a lot before she died, because it was her way of coping with her anxiety. Drunk driving led to her death and she killed someone else in the crash.
Health: dead
Hobbies: likes to read and write but is usually too busy fighting demons.
Favorite Sayings: no favorite sayings
Speech patterns: normal
Disabilities: none
Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): comfy
Greatest flaw: she doubts herself when she is needed most, and can be too gentle and trusting.
Best quality: she thinks clearly about things

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Educational Background: high school
Intelligence Level: she had a 4.0 and is really smart
Any Mental Illnesses? anxiety
Learning Experiences: her mother dying helped her understand how precious life is, and to treat everyone with kindness
Character's short-term goals in life: to kill demons
Character's long-term goals in life: to find peace
How does Character see himself/herself? She doesn’t pay much attention to herself because she puts everyone else ahead of her
How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? She believes people think she is a nice person and put together well
How self-confident is the character? Confident as a person, not so confident in her healing abilities
Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? Combination for sure.
What would most embarrass this character? She isn’t easily embarrassed. Once she realizes how she died, she will be ashamed of that.

Emotional Characteristics

Strengths/Weaknesses: she is emotionally strong, peaceful, level-headed, and smart. Her weaknesses are being too trusting and gentle
Introvert or Extrovert? Extrovert, she loves meeting new people and helping people
How does the character deal with anger? She’s not a very angry person, and if she were angry she would keep it to herself
With sadness? She would also bottle this up, she’s emotional but she wants to be calm for everyone around her
With conflict? She would be the one to solve conflict
With change? She goes with the flow
With loss? She would take this very hard as she has grown close to everyone in her life
What does the character want out of life? She wants to find peace
What would the character like to change in his/her life? In her alive part of life, she wishes she would’ve found a better way to cope, but she wouldn’t change her dead life considering she knows she’s helping people
What motivates this character? Her love for helping others
What frightens this character? Losing her calmness or losing her loved ones
What makes this character happy? Fighting alongside her family and helping others
Is the character judgmental of others? Not at all
Is the character generous or stingy? generous
Is the character generally polite or rude? polite

Spiritual Characteristics

Does the character believe in God? yes
What are the character's spiritual beliefs? She obviously believes in god
Is religion or spirituality a part of this character's life? yes
If so, what role does it play? Like, the whole story is about it

How the Character is Involved in the Story

Character's role in the novel (main character? hero? heroine? Romantic interest? etc.): supporting character
Scene where character first appears: first chapter
Relationships with other characters: “family” with the others, not by blood, they all died on the same day
1. Kaydence: -- Aileen and Kaydence have a sweet relationship, and throughout the novel they get closer. Aileen is a great advice giver because she thinks of situations without bias.
2. Sebastian: -- More of a strained relationship because Bash can’t stand how easygoing Aileen is, but she still tries her best to be a friend to him.
3. Indiana: -- not as close to her as Kayden, but still very close. Aileen and Indie have contrasting personalities which makes them perfect together in some ways and completely wrong together in others.
4. Xander: -- barely talk with one another, as Xander keeps to himself.
5. Archie: -- cares a lot about him, and thinks of him like her younger brother. She tries her best to not be as overprotective as Indie which is why he likes to hang with her sometimes more than Indie.
How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: she is more confident in herself and understands her past more. She learns to not trust everyone and that not everyone can be helped for the better.
Additional Notes on This Character: she died from drunk driving


Archie Rose

Spoiler! :
Basic Statistics

Name: Archie Rose
Age: 15
Nationality: Caucasian, but grew up in Africa for 7 years and can speak fluent Swahili
Hometown: Kenya, Africa
Current Residence: New York, New York
Occupation: demon hunting
Income: 0
Talents/Skills: can make whoever he wants to see what every he wants them to or feel whatever he wants them to.
Salary: 0
Birth order: second born
Siblings (describe relationship): his older sister is named Indiana, and she can be quite over-protective even though she’s got the same spirit as Archie - an adventurous one
Spouse (describe relationship): none
Children (describe relationship): none
Grandparents (describe relationship): none
Grandchildren (describe relationship): none
Parents (describe relationship): His parents were missionaries in Africa (where he was born) but soon ran out of funding to support both kids so they moved back to America and got stable jobs while still being very active in the church. His father died in a horrible accident when him and Indie were fighting.
Significant Others (describe relationship): none
Relationship skills: he is a good friend to anyone that wants his friendship. He is quite the jokester and loves to make people laugh

Physical Characteristics:

Height: 5’7
Weight: 133 lbs
Race: caucasian
Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: ginger
Glasses or contact lenses? no
Skin color: pale white
Shape of Face: oval face
Distinguishing features: freckles
How does he/she dress? Simple jeans and a shirt and jacket
Mannerisms: rebellious, adventurous, humorous, girl crazy
Habits: (smoking, drinking etc.) he drank with his friends as a form of rebelling against his parents
Health: dead
Hobbies: he likes to hike, to build things, and discovering new places.
Favorite Sayings: none
Speech patterns: normal
Disabilities: none
Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): laidback and careless
Greatest flaw: immature, troublesome
Best quality: really smart

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Educational Background: some high school
Intelligence Level: he is kind of a genius, and can make anything from hand
Any Mental Illnesses? nope
Learning Experiences: he has much to learn, to grow. He needs to learn that the less trouble he causes, the more he will earn.
Character's short-term goals in life: he just wants discover new places and continue to live
Character's long-term goals in life: he’s scared to die so he wants to ask to stay
How does Character see himself/herself? He doesn’t understand why everyone thinks he’s such a nuisance
How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? He thinks everyone is disappointed in him 24/7
How self-confident is the character? He’s average
Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? Emotions. He acts on impulse. He’s smart when it comes to building and stuff, but uses his emotions when deciding what to do most of the time.
What would most embarrass this character? If anyone knew how scared he is to die again

Emotional Characteristics

Strengths/Weaknesses: his strengths are his building skills, his intelligence, and his powers. His weakness is his immaturity, his adventurous side, and his impulsive decisions.
Introvert or Extrovert? extrovert
How does the character deal with anger? He goes out on hikes and rebels
With sadness? He bottles it up
With conflict? By thinking on impulse and trying to figure it out himself
With change? He loves it
With loss? Bottles it up
What does the character want out of life? To live and travel
What would the character like to change in his/her life? He wishes he never died
What motivates this character? discovery
What frightens this character? death
What makes this character happy? Nature and new places
Is the character judgmental of others? sometimes
Is the character generous or stingy? stingy
Is the character generally polite or rude? Depends on the situation

Spiritual Characteristics

Does the character believe in God? yes
What are the character's spiritual beliefs? christian
Is religion or spirituality a part of this character's life? yes
If so, what role does it play? His parents were missionaries so he grew up in church

How the Character is Involved in the Story
Character's role in the novel (main character? hero? heroine? Romantic interest? etc.): supporting character
Scene where character first appears: scene one
Relationships with other characters:
1. Kaydence: -- they’re not that close, but Kaydence has always been the mother of the group and is kind of overprotective like Indiana. She usually sticks up for him against Bash but sometimes agrees with Bash, depends.
2. Sebastian: -- don’t get along very well. Thinks Archie is too reckless and will get them all killed, so Archie tries his best to avoid him. He doesn’t appreciate that Bash acts like his father.
3. Indiana: -- it’s an interesting dynamic because Indiana is the only one that really understands his needs for freedom and adventure but she’s super overprotective.
4. Xander: -- really good friends, especially considering that Indie and Xander are dating. Xander is like his big brother.
5. Aileen: -- goes to her when Indiana is being too overprotective, enjoys her calming presence.
How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: more mature and understands that he has to help his family instead of always rebelling against them.
Additional Notes on This Character: he was caught drinking with friends and then died in the car when his sister went to pick him up


Indiana Rose

Spoiler! :
Basic Statistics


Name: Indiana Rose
Age: 16
Nationality: Caucasian, but grew up in Africa for 8 years and can speak fluent Swahili
Hometown: Kenya, Africa
Current Residence: New York, New York
Occupation: demon hunting
Income: 0
Talents/Skills: she has influence over animals, and can make them bend to her will
Salary: 0
Birth order: first born
Siblings (describe relationship): her younger brother, Archie, who can be quite a pain but she loves him more than she loves anyone in the world, as she is the only blood relative that she has.
Spouse (describe relationship): none
Children (describe relationship): none
Grandparents (describe relationship): none
Grandchildren (describe relationship): none
Parents (describe relationship): Her parents were missionaries in Africa (where she was born) but soon ran out of funding to support both kids so they moved back to America and got stable jobs while still being very active in the church. Her father died in a horrible accident while she was arguing with him about not letting her go out with friends more often. She said she felt like a caged animal and that it was all his fault. She hated him at that point and he lost his step while walking away from her down the stairs and cracked his neck. She has always felt like it was her fault since then.
Significant Others (describe relationship): Xander is her boyfriend. They fell in love very soon after they were put together to fight. She saw parts of him that no one had seen before, and she helped him deal with his anger. They had been dating ever since.
Relationship skills: fiercely loyal and super fun to be around.

Physical Characteristics:

Height: 5’3
Weight: 105 lbs
Race: caucasian
Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: ginger
Glasses or contact lenses? no
Skin color: pale white
Shape of Face: triangle face
Distinguishing features: freckles
How does he/she dress? Bohemian
Mannerisms: she’s very tomboyish and she’s not afraid to get her hands dirty
Habits: (smoking, drinking etc.) none
Health: dead
Hobbies: hiking and being around nature
Favorite Sayings: none
Speech patterns: normal
Disabilities: none
Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): laidback
Greatest flaw: sometimes too fiercely opinionated and doesn’t really watch what she says.
Best quality: she’s loyal and fierce, and can kick some ass

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Educational Background: high school
Intelligence Level: average
Any Mental Illnesses? none
Learning Experiences: losing her dad because of anger taught her to become more loving
Character's short-term goals in life: to kick some ass
Character's long-term goals in life: to live in peace with Xander and her brother
How does Character see himself/herself? She’s confident with herself
How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? Adventurous
How self-confident is the character? average
Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? emotion
What would most embarrass this character? If someone beat her

Emotional Characteristics

Strengths/Weaknesses: her strengths are her fearlessness, her loyal nature, her powers, and her ability to kick some ass. Her weaknesses are not thinking before she speaks, her fearlessness, and being too overprotective sometimes.
Introvert or Extrovert? extrovert
How does the character deal with anger? she goes out on hikes
With sadness? she bottles it up, but soon finds comfort in Xander
With conflict? By thinking on impulse and trying to figure it out herself
With change? she loves it
With loss? Bottles it up, but it destroys her
What does the character want out of life? To love Xander forever and find peace with him and her brother
What would the character like to change in his/her life? She wishes she could’ve met Xander when they were alive
What motivates this character? Her loyalty
What frightens this character? Death of loved ones
What makes this character happy? Nature and new places and Xander
Is the character judgmental of others? sometimes
Is the character generous or stingy? generous
Is the character generally polite or rude? Depends on the situation

Spiritual Characteristics

Does the character believe in God? yes
What are the character's spiritual beliefs? christian
Is religion or spirituality a part of this character's life? yes
If so, what role does it play? Her parents were missionaries so she grew up in church

How the Character is Involved in the Story

Character's role in the novel (main character? hero? heroine? Romantic interest? etc.): supporting role
Scene where character first appears: first chapter
Relationships with other characters:
1. Xander: -- the love of her life.
2. Sebastian: -- they fight often, and don’t really get along.
3. Kaydence: -- good friends. Kayden is a very tense person so Indie helps her live out her wild side.
4. Aileen: -- very close. Aileen and Indie have contrasting personalities which makes them perfect together in some ways and completely wrong together in others.
5. Archie: -- it’s an interesting dynamic because Indiana is the only one that really understands his needs for freedom and adventure but she’s super overprotective.
How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: She doesn’t change much, but she learns to not be so overprotective of Archie because all that does is push him away.
Additional Notes on This Character: she pulled out in front of someone and got T-d while yelling at her brother for giving their mom more grief by rebelling so much. She feels responsible for her father’s death


Kaydence Eagle

Spoiler! :
Basic Statistics

Name: Kaydence Eagle
Age: 19
Nationality: American
Hometown: Veneta, Oregon
Current Residence: New York. New York
Occupation: demon killer
Income: 0
Talents/Skills: can sense auras and in the future might be able to control emotions or crush spirits??
Salary: 0
Birth order: first and only born
Siblings (describe relationship): none
Spouse (describe relationship): none
Children (describe relationship): none
Grandparents (describe relationship): none
Grandchildren (describe relationship): none
Parents (describe relationship): she wasn’t very close to her parents, and moved away as soon as possible (17).
Significant Others (describe relationship): soon Bash. with the pressure of always having to be strong for other people, they end up starting to rely on the other as an emotional outlet, and there’s always been some sexual tension.
Relationship skills: she’s not good at relationships but she’s pretty good at friendships

Physical Characteristics:

Height: 5’5
Weight: 115
Race: caucasian
Eye Color: green
Hair Color: brown
Glasses or contact lenses? nope
Skin color: white
Shape of Face: oval
Distinguishing features: freckles
How does he/she dress? High waisted jeans, frayed shirts, old band Ts, black/grey
Mannerisms: she acts like a mom, and she sometimes rambles about things she shouldn’t
Habits: (smoking, drinking etc.) she started heavily drinking after Cam started abusing her
Health: dead
Hobbies: she enjoys being alone and mostly she just takes care of everyone around her
Favorite Sayings: none
Speech patterns: normal
Disabilities: none
Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): vintage
Greatest flaw: her mouth gets her in trouble a lot, and the fact that she shuts herself off from love
Best quality: she cares a lot about everyone around her, and she can kick some ass.

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Educational Background: highschool grad
Intelligence Level: 3.8 gpa
Any Mental Illnesses? depression
Learning Experiences: being in a abusive relationship
Character's short-term goals in life: to kill demons
Character's long-term goals in life: to find peace
How does Character see himself/herself? She tries her best to act strong but she can only take so much
How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? She hopes they don’t see how she’s not as strong as she tries to be
How self-confident is the character? average
Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? emotion
What would most embarrass this character? Her vulnerability

Emotional Characteristics

Strengths/Weaknesses: her strength is being able to try and do what’s best for her family, she can kick ass, and she’s a good friend to those that need it, and a leader. Her weaknesses are that she bottles things up and that will soon make her break
Introvert or Extrovert? introvert
How does the character deal with anger? By kicking ass
With sadness? Bottles it up
With conflict? Deals with it
With change? Kind of reluctant, but realizes it’s part of life.
With loss? Not well at all, but has to be strong for everyone else
What does the character want out of life? To find peace
What would the character like to change in his/her life? She wishes she never got together with Cam
What motivates this character? Her love for her family and her desire for peace
What frightens this character? Intimacy and vulnerability
What makes this character happy? Kicking ass
Is the character judgmental of others? yes
Is the character generous or stingy? generous
Is the character generally polite or rude? Depends on the situation

Spiritual Characteristics

Does the character believe in God? yes
What are the character's spiritual beliefs? Christian, she wasn’t super into it though
Is religion or spirituality a part of this character's life? eh
If so, what role does it play? The whole story

How the Character is Involved in the Story

Character's role in the novel (main character? hero? heroine? Romantic interest? etc.): main character
Scene where character first appears: chapter one
Relationships with other characters:
1. Xander: -- like a big brother to Kayden, and she comes to him for male advice sometimes. She’s also close to him because they’re the same age.
2. Sebastian: -- they butt heads a lot, but there’s always been this sexual tension between them that is sure to come out at some point.
3. Aileen: -- Aileen and Kaydence have a sweet relationship, and throughout the novel they get closer. Aileen is a great advice giver because she thinks of situations without bias.
4. Archie: -- they’re not that close, but Kaydence has always been the mother of the group and is kind of overprotective like Indiana. She usually sticks up for him against Bash but sometimes agrees with Bash, depends.
5. Indiana: -- good friends. Kayden is a very tense person so Indie helps her live out her wild side.
How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: she learns to be more trusting and let people in, and she realizes that she can’t fix everything
Additional Notes on This Character: committed suicide to get away from an abusive relationship


Sebastian Crow

Spoiler! :
Basic Statistics

Name: Sebastian Crow
Age: 20
Nationality: American
Hometown: Chicago, IL
Current Residence: New York, New York
Occupation: demon killer
Income: 0
Talents/Skills: he controls the elements in limited ways
Salary: 0
Birth order: first born (only child)
Siblings (describe relationship): none
Spouse (describe relationship): none
Children (describe relationship): none
Grandparents (describe relationship): none
Grandchildren (describe relationship): none
Parents (describe relationship): He never got along with his parents and often was staying at different girl’s houses. His dad was abusive and his mom didn’t do anything about it
Significant Others (describe relationship): Kaydence. He’s always had a thing for her, but denied it. He could always feel the sexual tension between them but again, tried to ignore it. He was falling in love with her but he was terrified of it for some reason but one day he just kissed her. They fought it for a while but end up together.
Relationship skills: HORRIBLE. He likes control too much.

Physical Characteristics:

Height: 5’10
Weight: 170
Race: caucasian
Eye Color: dark brown
Hair Color: dark brown
Glasses or contact lenses? none
Skin color: tan
Shape of Face: square
Distinguishing features: stubble of a beard
How does he/she dress? Dark jeans, black shirts, leather jackets when necessary.
Mannerisms: he likes control and he has anger issues. He’s secluded and likes to be alone.
Habits: (smoking, drinking etc.) drinking
Health: dead
Hobbies: he is an amazing artist, and often spends his free time sketching all the girls he slept with but he doesn’t remember them. Most often he sketches the girl he pushed down the stairs
Favorite Sayings: none
Speech patterns: normal
Disabilities: none
Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): badass
Greatest flaw: anger issues and control issues
Best quality: he’s a natural born leader, and he KICKSSSS ASS!!!!

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Educational Background: highschool and some college
Intelligence Level: very smart
Any Mental Illnesses? no
Learning Experiences: he has a lot to learn
Character's short-term goals in life: to kick ass
Character's long-term goals in life: he wants to continue to kick ass
How does Character see himself/herself? He sees himself as a leader, like he should always be in charge and that he is smarter than everyone else
How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? He thinks that they look to him as leader and that he can’t slip up
How self-confident is the character? confident
Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? Logic but sometimes clouded by emotion
What would most embarrass this character? vulnerability

Emotional Characteristics

Strengths/Weaknesses: his strengths would be his leadership, strength, and power. His weakness would be his anger issues and not letting others help
Introvert or Extrovert? introvert
How does the character deal with anger? He lashes out easily, and he become cold and short.
With sadness? He bottles it up
With conflict? Depends. He sometimes ignores it until someone brings it to his attention.
With change? Fine with it
With loss? He pretends to not care and lies to himself but he really hurts over it
What does the character want out of life? To continue killing demons as it is a release.
What would the character like to change in his/her life? Hurting that girl
What motivates this character? His power and the control he has
What frightens this character? vulnerability
What makes this character happy? Kicking ass
Is the character judgmental of others? yes
Is the character generous or stingy? stingy
Is the character generally polite or rude? rude

Spiritual Characteristics

Does the character believe in God? His parents raised him with that belief but he fell off the deep end until the accident with that girl
What are the character's spiritual beliefs? christianity
Is religion or spirituality a part of this character's life? See above
If so, what role does it play? The whole story

How the Character is Involved in the Story

Character's role in the novel (main character? hero? heroine? Romantic interest? etc.):
Scene where character first appears: chapter 1
Relationships with other characters:
1. Xander: -- Xander is probably the person that Bash gets along with the best because he doesn’t try to test Bash usually, and he’s very quiet so Bash has some control over their relationship.
2. Aileen: -- More of a strained relationship because Bash can’t stand how easygoing Aileen is. He thinks she’s too positive and not focused on the task at hand. He also thinks she’s naive.
3. Archie: -- don’t get along very well. Thinks Archie is too reckless and will get them all killed, so Archie tries his best to avoid him. He doesn’t appreciate that Bash acts like his father.
4. Indiana: -- they fight often, and don’t really get along.
5. Kaydence: -- they butt heads a lot, but there’s always been this sexual tension between them that is sure to come out at some point, and he’s always appreciate her beauty and has felt something towards her but he’s too scared to act on it. He doesn’t want to get hurt or hurt her.
How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: woah, wait- he has a heart? (basically.)
Additional Notes on This Character: slept around with a bunch of girls after his first love completely destroyed his trust, and one day he was having sex and the girl fell and broke her neck. He committed suicide after fleeing three days later.


Xander Lee

Spoiler! :
Basic Statistics

Name: Xander Lee
Age: 19
Nationality: American
Hometown: Sante Fe, New Mexico
Current Residence: New York, New York
Occupation: demon killer
Income: 0
Talents/Skills: mind control/reading
Salary: 0
Birth order: first born
Siblings (describe relationship): he had three siblings, one younger brother (15) and two younger twin sisters (8). He was close to them, and when his Parents died he had to provide for them somehow, which is how he got mixed up in the robbery.
Spouse (describe relationship): none
Children (describe relationship): none
Grandparents (describe relationship): none
Grandchildren (describe relationship): none
Parents (describe relationship): He was close to his parents, and when they passed away when he was 19 he had to do something to take care of his family.
Significant Others (describe relationship): Indie. He was drawn to her sense of freedom, and since he had one of the first memories of how he failed to provide for his siblings, she helped him deal with that
Relationship skills: not very social so he doesn’t have a lot of friendships, but he can be a really great friend to the people he wants to be. He’s super affectionate towards Indie and would do anything she asked.

Physical Characteristics:

Height: 5’8
Weight: 150
Race: caucasian
Eye Color: brown, almost black
Hair Color: black
Glasses or contact lenses? none
Skin color: pale white
Shape of Face: round
Distinguishing features: lip and nose piercings
How does he/she dress? Black skinny jeans and black/white tee
Mannerisms: very quiet and closed off
Habits: (smoking, drinking etc.) none
Health: dead
Hobbies: he likes shooting guns
Favorite Sayings: none
Speech patterns: normal
Disabilities: none
Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): emo
Greatest flaw: closed off
Best quality: he is quite observant and good at reading people, so this aids him when addressing situations

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Educational Background: highschool
Intelligence Level: average
Any Mental Illnesses? nope
Learning Experiences: his parents dying taught him how to be responsible in some ways, and obviously not in others
Character's short-term goals in life: he wants to find his family, but he hasn’t even told Indie this
Character's long-term goals in life: find peace with Indiana
How does Character see himself/herself? He sees himself as better off staying out of the way
How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? He thinks they don’t think much of him
How self-confident is the character? No confident
Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? emotion
What would most embarrass this character? failure

Emotional Characteristics
Strengths/Weaknesses: he could help the team more if he opened up and realized that no one thought badly of him
Introvert or Extrovert? introvert
How does the character deal with anger? Punches walls instead of causing arguments
With sadness? He leans on Indie
With conflict? He stays out of it
With change? He doesn’t care
With loss? It hard for him, but he’s only his true emotional self with Indie
What does the character want out of life? To find out what happened to his family
What would the character like to change in his/her life? His decision to rob the bank
What motivates this character? His love for Indie and the rest of his “family”
What frightens this character? failure
What makes this character happy? Indie
Is the character judgmental of others? no
Is the character generous or stingy? generous
Is the character generally polite or rude? polite

Spiritual Characteristics

Does the character believe in God? Yes, his parents raised his whole family around God
What are the character's spiritual beliefs? Christianity
Is religion or spirituality a part of this character's life? yes
If so, what role does it play? The story is about it

How the Character is Involved in the Story

Character's role in the novel (main character? hero? heroine? Romantic interest? etc.): supporting character
Scene where character first appears: chapter one
Relationships with other characters:
1. Aileen: -- barely talk with one another, as Xander keeps to himself.
2. Archie: -- really good friends, especially considering that Indie and Xander are dating. Xander is like his big brother.
3. Indiana: -- the love of his life.
4. Kaydence: -- like a big brother to Kayden, and she comes to him for male advice sometimes. She’s also close to him because they’re the same age.
5. Sebastian: -- Xander is probably the person that Bash gets along with the best because he doesn’t try to test Bash usually, and he’s very quiet so Bash has some control over their relationship.
How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: he realizes his worth and feels more free and happier
Additional Notes on This Character: he was involved in a robbery and was shot when he didn’t hear one of his friends warn him that he was going to be shot by the police. The only reason he agreed to help was to provide for his family.
Last edited by elysian on Thu Jun 14, 2018 3:12 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Wed Jun 13, 2018 8:11 am
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StellaThomas says...



I really like this idea!

Have you read The Wish List by Eoin Colfer? It doesn't sound too much the same but a similar premise!
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Wed Jun 13, 2018 8:29 am
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soundofmind says...



Oooh, so you're editing a pre-existing story! Heyyy, a fellow second-drafter/rewriter/editor haha! What are some of the things that you really want to change in your novel this time around? I know you've got a list up there in your notes, and I'm curious if you've answered those last two questions, haha.

WHY TEENS? WHY LUCIFER?
The last question thought, I don't think you have to be too worried about? Lucifer/Satan/Whatever you want to call him has classically been shown as the negative alternative to following God in the history of story-telling and stuff. I don't think you have to worry about explaining it too much? Unless you want Lucifer to be like, his own really developed character I guess, if God's like that too or something.

I dunno, just throwing my thoughts in here! Because yaaaaaa I love talking stories!
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Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:51 pm
elysian says...



@StellaThomas - No, I haven't! Thank you for the compliment <3

@soundofmind - I'm actually still writing my first draft of this one. I'm writing my fifth chapter right now. And I'm just trying to figure out why God is giving them the threat of Lucifer instead of saving them. Thanks for the interest <3
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Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:57 pm
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soundofmind says...



OH WOW LOL sorry I totally misinterpreted. WOW @ me

But ooooog that's great that you've got some chapters going already! That's sure gonna help!
"It's all a matter of perspective... everyone is the hero of their own story, and the villain of another's." - James
  





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Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:30 am
elysian says...



Characters: Quick Reference

shorter descriptions


Aileen:
Spoiler! :
Age: 17
Nationality: French
Hometown: Paris, France
Eye Color: piercing light blue
Hair Color: medium brown with highlights
How does he/she dress? Laid back and casual, doesn’t put too much thought into it. Blues, whites, and greys.


Archie:
Spoiler! :
Age: 15
Nationality: Caucasian, but grew up in Africa for 7 years and can speak fluent Swahili
Hometown: Kenya, Africa
Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: ginger
How does he/she dress? Simple jeans and a shirt and jacket


Indiana:
Spoiler! :
Age: 16
Nationality: Caucasian, but grew up in Africa for 8 years and can speak fluent Swahili
Hometown: Kenya, Africa
Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: ginger
How does he/she dress? bohemian


Kaydence:
Spoiler! :
Age: 19
Nationality: American
Hometown: Veneta, Oregon
Eye Color: green
Hair Color: brown
How does he/she dress? High waisted jeans, frayed shirts, old band Ts, black/grey


Sebastian:
Spoiler! :
Age: 20
Nationality: American
Hometown: Chicago, IL
Eye Color: dark brown
Hair Color: dark brown
How does he/she dress? Dark jeans, black shirts, leather jackets when necessary.


Xander:
Spoiler! :
Age: 19
Nationality: American
Hometown: Sante Fe, New Mexico
Eye Color: brown, almost black
Hair Color: black
How does he/she dress? Black skinny jeans and black/white tee
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Thu Jun 14, 2018 4:10 am
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elysian says...



Characters: Visual References

pictures as close to what I imagine as possible


Aileen

Spoiler! :
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Aileen's clothes

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Archie

Spoiler! :
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Archie's clothes

Spoiler! :
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Indiana

Spoiler! :
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Indiana clothes

Spoiler! :
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Kaydence:

Spoiler! :
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Kaydence's Clothes

Spoiler! :
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Sebastian

Spoiler! :
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Sebastian's clothes

Spoiler! :
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Xander

Spoiler! :
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Xander's clothes

Spoiler! :
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elysian: (adj.) beautiful or creative; divinely inspired; peaceful and perfect.

formally lylas.
  








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