Young Writers Society

September 2018 Review Month

914 of 1250

Last Review by Anniepoo103. You go Anniepoo103!
Home » Storybooks Main » Storybook Discussion » Specific Storybook Discussion

Defenders of the Dust City DT



User avatar
26 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 645
Reviews: 26
Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:00 pm
Terian805 says...



Post is up! I'll try to write the second part when I can, but meanwhile anybody is welcome to post!
"You can't live over your shoulder, overbehind."
  





User avatar
40 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2296
Reviews: 40
Sat Jun 02, 2018 3:40 pm
Tortwag says...



Bump! Just wanted to make sure if anyone wanted to go, since @Terian805 had a recent post, and so did I and Thundah.
"Is there a limit to how much living I can live with my life? How will I know if I've gone too far?
And why did I spend my life savings on sunglasses for a whale?
I shall find the answer... to these questions."
  





User avatar
40 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2296
Reviews: 40
Wed Jul 11, 2018 1:01 pm
Tortwag says...



@Terian805 Hello, m'dear! Currently catchin up posts at last, as I'm freer for a good chunk of the Summer at least - though I feel like this'll happen more and more to all of us.

How's that second part of yours going?
"Is there a limit to how much living I can live with my life? How will I know if I've gone too far?
And why did I spend my life savings on sunglasses for a whale?
I shall find the answer... to these questions."
  





User avatar
26 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 645
Reviews: 26
Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:19 am
Terian805 says...



Yes @Tortwag good point! :D I'll be honest I was kinda waiting for someone else to post to have a break between Finn's POV, before..I wrote...the 2nd part. So I haven't made a whole lot of progress, but if people are expecting me to be writing it then I'll certainly do so.. :D
"You can't live over your shoulder, overbehind."
  





User avatar
40 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2296
Reviews: 40
Thu Jul 12, 2018 6:15 pm
Tortwag says...



@Terian805 NOW THAT I'M FREE, I CAN TOTALLY DO THAT, so, I think I will. I think we're all pretty much in last second exams (just finished mine) and catching up with things in general, so, not really expecting much yet. Lemme read that first part of yours, first off!
"Is there a limit to how much living I can live with my life? How will I know if I've gone too far?
And why did I spend my life savings on sunglasses for a whale?
I shall find the answer... to these questions."
  





User avatar
40 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2296
Reviews: 40
Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:24 pm
Tortwag says...



@Terian805 Caught up! Yeeeah, point for Finn there: it's pretty awkward XD Guess I'll just continue my sub-arc in the meantime, since Ella needs some presence, as well as Adrian and Pango Lyn. Time to scheme things!
"Is there a limit to how much living I can live with my life? How will I know if I've gone too far?
And why did I spend my life savings on sunglasses for a whale?
I shall find the answer... to these questions."
  





User avatar
40 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2296
Reviews: 40
Thu Jul 19, 2018 7:57 am
Tortwag says...



Post in the works! I'll be busy this week, but it should be out by the next.
"Is there a limit to how much living I can live with my life? How will I know if I've gone too far?
And why did I spend my life savings on sunglasses for a whale?
I shall find the answer... to these questions."
  





User avatar
40 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2296
Reviews: 40
Wed Aug 08, 2018 2:06 pm
View Likes
Tortwag says...



Posted at last! Yay! @Terian805 Noooow you can get back to Finn's business, m'dear, then I'll get back to mine later :3
"Is there a limit to how much living I can live with my life? How will I know if I've gone too far?
And why did I spend my life savings on sunglasses for a whale?
I shall find the answer... to these questions."
  





User avatar
26 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 645
Reviews: 26
Thu Aug 23, 2018 6:36 am
View Likes
Terian805 says...



Sorry for the inactivity everyone I've been on Holiday for three weeks. Now I'm home I'll definitely have a post up by some point next week!
"You can't live over your shoulder, overbehind."
  





User avatar
26 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 645
Reviews: 26
Wed Aug 29, 2018 9:48 pm
View Likes
Terian805 says...



Something's finally posted! I think I've bitten off a bit more than I can chew, since I have way more planned for this scene as well! I was thinking of writing a cool fight scene with Finn and Simon Eimer vs the Impalpables.@Lael if you want me to change Simon a bit, or remove him entirely please let me know.

Meanwhile anyone else is welcome to post!
"You can't live over your shoulder, overbehind."
  





User avatar
428 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 994
Reviews: 428
Wed Aug 29, 2018 10:06 pm
View Likes
Saen says...



Oh man, it's been awhile since I posted in this! I apologize for falling so far off of the map. I've finally read through the storybook's new posts and caught up with what's going on in the plot, so I think now would be a good time for join in on the posting.

Just before I do, maybe we should decide on a plan for what we want to happen in the long term? We have Pango Lyn and Adrian over with Ella right now, and Finn with Jasmine as they deal with the Impalables. But we don't really have a specific thing that's tying them together, do we? (Besides Ella, but right now she's just kind of there.) I could have Adrian talk to Ella while Pango Lyn is off fighting - if I remember right, she's either supposed to tell them something important or something that brings all the characters together?
“When given the choice between
being right or being kind,
choose kind.”

Wonder, RJ Palacio
  





User avatar
78 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2316
Reviews: 78
Thu Aug 30, 2018 12:09 am
View Likes
Lael says...



Simon is good, @Terian805!
In God I Trust

"as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death."
Philippians 1:20
  





User avatar
26 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 645
Reviews: 26
Thu Aug 30, 2018 11:03 am
View Likes
Terian805 says...



Well I'm not 100% sure how that would work quite yet
@Saen I'm just working on making a link between Stella/Slayer and Finn/Jasmine. Was there going to be some kind of dreamfolk rebellion which Adrian/Ella get caught up in? If so, that would link Ella/Adrian to Stella/slayer and by default Finn and Jasmine. How you would introduce that though, I dont know. Does anyone have some ideas?
"You can't live over your shoulder, overbehind."
  





User avatar
40 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2296
Reviews: 40
Thu Aug 30, 2018 1:29 pm
View Likes
Tortwag says...



@Terian805 I am INSULTED not to be included in your friendly shipping plans, how DARE YOU not put any available characters or NPCs to my dinosaur, humans and dinosaurs would be wonderful for hypothetical reproduction these days, imagine the Werewolves, I mean weresauruses, it would be great
Jokes - yes that was my idea of a joke - aside, done with reading the post! So, Simon's partnership with Finn begun, and that latter's officially linked to Jasmine. Yay!

Now, for the big questions/suggestions!

Well, I still remember the talk on page 5 about the Avatar of Rebirth, and the Avatar of Renewal. As far as I recall, Ella's eventually gonna kick the bucket, but will pass her power to a person that's not Finn before doing so. Meanwhile, Slayer wants a rebellion to happen because Upper Class Is Annoying And Also Slavery Is Bad, Adrian just wants to be useful, Ella just doesn't wanna get caught, Finn just wanna help people, Jasmine just wanna help Finn and Pango Lyn just wanna have fun.
Lol.

With that said, I agree with @Saen, Ella should prolly state her purpose, or mention, in her own way, that she's the Avatar of Rebirth, and that people want her to die so that she doesn't use her powers anymore. So, she could totally have Adrian talk to her, and in my case, Lisière is just a decoy - after her, Mr.Crow (or a Final Boss type of subordinate, I can make one up if necessary) could come by, pull off a Thanos with "Fine, I'll do it myself" and then have a, uh, more massive, less discreet attack on the Dreadmill because Ella REALLY has to be terminated.

If the Dreadmill is damaged, Pango Lyn then has to be involved (because prevention of fun + destruction of home = vengeance, and if anyone aside Slayer can help spark a rebellion against people who wants to get rid of all Dreamfolks and Lucids, it's another Dreamfolk!
From there, our characters can pretty much meet naturally. Personally, my long-term goal for Pango Lyn is for him to complete his teaching of battling/fun to Adrian, and - if the Impalpables do destroy or damage his Dreadmill further - go to Mr.Crow and participate in his general butt-kicking. Well, and also finding his identity, but that'll happen as the two other objectives are set in motion. I guess the final objective would be creating another Dreadmill, or a second giant construction he'd call "home".

How about y'all? What d'you think of the suggestion, and how would your personal goals affect us as a whole, and allow all of our characters to meet?


The Impalpables could also set up some sort of event (either a tournament of some kind, or another type of gathering) specifically to round up all Dreamfolks/Lucids in one place, and then kill 'em all. Because there's nothing like a good old genocide to get rid of a problem, obviously! Well, for villains, anyway
Last edited by Tortwag on Thu Aug 30, 2018 7:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Is there a limit to how much living I can live with my life? How will I know if I've gone too far?
And why did I spend my life savings on sunglasses for a whale?
I shall find the answer... to these questions."
  





User avatar
428 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 994
Reviews: 428
Thu Aug 30, 2018 7:07 pm
View Likes
Saen says...



Adrian just wants to be useful


Yeah, that sounds about right. :P

I really like your idea about rounding everyone up; then our characters can have a really good reason to team up and save the day. If that doesn't work out, we can always rely on one of my favorite tropes: everyone ends up meeting by chance in the same place, and then gets caught up in some sort of battle thanks to a specific person or part of the group. After that, they realize their similarities and decide that they need to team up.

Assuming that works with everyone else!
“When given the choice between
being right or being kind,
choose kind.”

Wonder, RJ Palacio
  








"I'd be a quote vigilante. A literary Batman. Someone had better be quoting me now!"
— Feltrix