The desert was hot. It was hot not only because Wolfie wanted credits for the June Captain’s Challenge; it was hot because it was a desert and deserts are hot.
Wolfie, taking a swig of hot water from her hot canteen, wondered if she could get extra credits for writing “hot” enough times.
“It’s dern hot here,” she said. “I ain’t never felt so hot in my life.” She raised her voice. “Didja hear that, @AstralHunter? I said that it’s hot!”
Hunter was not there to hear her. Nor was anyone else, really, unless you count the horse and the cow.
“What good is a tagbook with no one around?” Wolfie wondered aloud.
“Hey, I’m here,” said her horse, thoroughbred-ly offended.
(Her horse was @Sheyren, who had, as a human, annoyed his sister @Mage so much that she had turned him into a horse. It wasn’t supposed to be permanent, but Sheyren had been equine for two weeks now and was still going strong.)
“Well,” Wolfie said, “now I’ve tagged you and your sister. Who else?”
“@LadyLizzLovelace,” Shey neighed.
“I ain’t fixin’ to just tag people outta the blue like that.”
“It ain’t out of the blue,” Shey said. “Look.”
Yonder desolate sandy landscape of mesquite brush and cacti, Wolfie indeed spotted Lady Lizz galloping full-speed toward them, kicking up a cloud of dust.
“Better hold onto your cows, Wolfie,” Lizz called when she was close enough.
“My cows? I thought you’re supposed to hold onto your horses.”
Shey tossed his head. “Excuse me. I am a strong, independent horse. Ain’t nobody holdin’ me back from pursuing my dreams.”
Lizz pulled her horse to a stop. “Have you not been in Yewistone lately?”
“No,” Wolfie admitted. “What’s going on?” It had taken her a while to lasso her most recent cow, but she was finally returning to Yewistone to take it to the Green Pasture. She thought that this was one of her finest cows yet, and was anxious for it to get branded. She hoped the brands wouldn’t be too harsh, however. This cow was her baby!
Suddenly, Wolfie pauses the narrative, turns around in the saddle, and looks the reader directly in the eye. “If my metaphors haven’t been clear enough,” she says, “Yewistone is YWS, cows are literary works, the Green Pasture is the Green Room, and brands are reviews.” She smiles, nods, and returns to the story.
“I hate to be the bringer of bad news,” Lizz said, wiping the sweat from her brow. “It ain’t lookin’ pretty, guys.”
“What do you mean?” Shey asks.
Lizz looks as if she’s about to cry. “Sheriff @Nate’s been... kidnapped—”
“Kidnapped?!” Shey and Wolfie exclaim at the same time.
“—along with deputies @Rydia, @Snoink, and @Meshugenah.”
“By whom?” Wolfie asked. Her heart was beating a mile a minute.
Lizz gulped. “@Google [Bot],” she whispered.
Shey and Wolfie gasped. The wanted poster for the infamous outlaw Google [Bot] flashed in Wolfie’s memory, glaring at her with cruel metallic eyes and a wiry mustache. She shuddered. “Oh no…”
Then all of a sudden, the sun was blotted out from the sky, and the desert was swathed in a terrible, menacing darkness. The wind picked up and sand swirled around in miniature cyclones.
“A sandstorm!” Lizz cried. “Run!”
Shey tried to run, but he couldn’t get very far because of the frightened cow that was tied to the saddle horn, who had dug its hooves in the sand and wouldn’t budge.
“Leave the cow,” Lizz said over her shoulder, one hand on her hat to keep it from blowing away. “It’s for the best.”
Wolfie was shocked. “But—”
“You can catch it again one day,” Lizz said. “But if we take it back to Yewistone now, Google [Bot] will steal it like he has all the others.”
“All the others?”
“Yewistone’s Cowpyright Policy ain’t existent for Google [Bot] and its posse, Wolfie. They're trying to make a profit off of all us Yewisters’ hard work. If we don’t stop them soon, all the cows’ll be butchered an’ sold with Google [Bot]’s name on the packaging.”
Wolfie wanted to cry. Instead, she nodded, untied the cow, and urged Shey forward. She didn’t look back, but instead covered her nose and mouth with her light green bandana to block the sand. Lizz did the same.
When they finally reached Yewistone, the sandstorm had died down, enough for Wolfie to see that the Homeplaza wasn’t the same. The beautiful blue buildings with neat black trimmings were riddled with bullet holes and almost all the windows were shattered. The bulletin for Top Cows of the Day was missing, as was the bulletin for the Weekly Best Branders.
Lawman @Lumi entered the Homeplaza. “Wolfie! Come quick! The Tepeestories are on fire, an’ not in a good way - you’ve gotta help us put ‘em out!”
“Why would Google [Bot] want to burn the Tepeestories?” Wolfie asked.
Lumi shrugged. “They're heartless and wants to take away our pride an’ joy, I guess.”
Suddenly, a robot burst into view.
T h e t e p e e s t o r i e s m u s t b u r n
Swiftly, Lawman Lumi pulled out his gun and shot the robot dead. “Quick, we'd better go!” he said, wheeling his horse around and dashing off toward Tepeestory Creek.
“I’d best be headin’ off to the Green Pasture,” Lizz said. “Watch out for more of Google [Bot]’s posse. I hear Bing [Bot]’s comin’ to help with reinforcements.” She cantered off in the other direction.
Before they even reached Tepeestory Creek, Wolfie could see clouds of black smoke billowing in the sky. As they got closer, she could also hear gunshots as Yewisters fought off the swarms of robots.
All the Tepeestory Tribe council members were there in their light green bandanas, brandishing their pistols - Hunter, Mage, @TheSilverFox, @Sassafras, and @TheMaieuticMesmerist - while other loyal Tepeestory Tribe members - @LeftyWriter, @FalconryGirl9086, @Persistence, @Gravity, @Europa, and @CoffeeCat, to name a few - tossed buckets of water on the smoldering Tepeestories. Even the giant Pokemon MysteryDungeon: The Seventeen Plates of Arceus Tepee, which loomed above the others, was damaged.
Wolfie’s heart dropped with dread when she saw her beloved Sea of Seven Tepeestory in flames, and Shey whinnied in anger when he saw the pristine Blank Tepeestory charred and blackened. Wolfie dismounted and drew her pistols, and Shey stormed off to help deliver water buckets.
An hour later, things were relatively under control. Most of the Tepeestories had seen better days, but none had been completely destroyed by the fires. Robot carcasses were everywhere, and a few live ones continued to trickle into Tepeestory Creek, repeating the same monotone line over and over:
T h e t e p e e s t o r i e s m u s t b u r n
Wolfie was getting darn good at shooting robots. At this point she had gotten into such a system of shooting, reloading, and shooting that she didn’t notice when a giant screen appeared in the sky.
“It’s Sheriff Nate!” @XxXTheSwordsmanXxX yelled, pointing above their heads.
“Oh God!” @Lael cried.
Sure enough, on the screen in the sky, Google [Bot] had projected a live video of Sheriff Nate slumped against a wall, unconscious. The camera panned over to three jail cells, where the three deputies in their red bandanas were chained. Deputy Rydia glared at the camera. “We’re in The Tavern,” she said, matter-of-factly.
Suddenly the camera shut off and the screen disappeared. Wolfie had a feeling that Google [Bot] had not wanted Rydia to say that.
Lawman Lumi let out a war cry. “To The Tavern!” he yelled.
Gender:
Points: 6836
Reviews: 440