Young Writers Society

Home » Storybooks Main » Storybooks » Storybooks

Welcome to Night Vale



User avatar
671 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Male
Points: 13378
Reviews: 671
Tue Mar 07, 2017 3:53 pm
Lumi says...



Welcome back, listeners, for an update on the mysterious portal that has opened in the studio. During our weather break, our interns had the magnificent, creative, bop-to-the-top idea to don tennis rackets to combat the mach-2 projectiles!

Hey, now...that kind of thinking could leave me wanting for a job someday. Luckily, I highly doubt they will survive the eighth male pig.

Coincidentally, due to a surplus in supplies, I'm proud to announce the Night Vale Radio Station's first annual BBQ festival this Saturday. You may be wary of eating interdimensional pork, but allow me to ask you, listeners: have you tasted the other side?
  





User avatar
86 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 9322
Reviews: 86
Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:57 pm
View Likes
Sheyren says...



Listeners, it's time for a heart to heart. Let's discuss on-the-road etiquette.

Make sure your highbeams are only on when you're alone on the road. We wouldn't any unsuspecting drivers being sucked into resulting wormholes, now would we? Also, make sure your baby is strapped into a booster seat snuggly. The road is a dangerous place... The death toll there is higher than anywhere else, save Aunt Clarice's house (of course). Car accidents kill almost a thousand people a week, and that's not even mentioning the lifeless figures mysteriously phasing through car doors and grabbing drivers, bringing them to some unknown dimension as they scream in mortal terror, life and other scarring things flashing before their eyes, never to be seen by loved ones again. Always buckle your child's seatbelt...

This has been on-the-road etiquette.
Curiousity killed the cat, but answers would have harmed him more.
  





User avatar
63 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 102
Reviews: 63
Sun Apr 02, 2017 12:59 am
View Likes
RavenLord says...



Listeners, there has been a breach over by the dog park. It seems.....Oh my god, Carlos has breached the fence of the dog park! He's yelling something about it having to be done....CARLOS! He's gone....His luscious hair is gone....

Listeners, I'm afraid we're going to *sniff* have to cut to a word from our sponsors....I need to compose myself.
"All the people I admire can fly--
why can't I do that?"
--Pictures That Tick
  





User avatar
86 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 9322
Reviews: 86
Tue Apr 04, 2017 12:15 am
Sheyren says...



We now cut to a short prerecorded message:

14
6
19
6
24
6

These are numbers which may seem random. They may seem random because they are. These are totally random numbers. This is an advertisement segment filled with random numbers, not an ad. Well done society.
Curiousity killed the cat, but answers would have harmed him more.
  





User avatar
267 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 783
Reviews: 267
Thu Apr 20, 2017 12:11 pm
View Likes
Gravity says...



Ladies and gentleman, an announcement from Mayor McGee from where I've buried him.

In work, obviously.

You are reminded never to approach the city limits. Not to leave, not to gawk at the faceless figures on the other side, not even to bury your latest... erm... plant. You must never attempt to leave, who would want to? Nightvale is one of the safest [static] places in the [static takes over and the voice cuts out]
And the heart is hard to translate
It has a language of its own
It talks in tongues and quiet sighs,
And prayers and proclamations

-Florence + The Machine (All This and Heaven Too)
  





User avatar
671 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Male
Points: 13378
Reviews: 671
Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:32 am
View Likes
Lumi says...



Dear listeners,

It is with great remorse that I must inform you that our latest intern, Boogie Knights, did not survive the eighth male pig traveling at such great speeds. As consolation to his family members, all--obviously--family, as well as friends of Boogie will be waived the surcharge at the First Annual Studio BBQ. We look forward to seeing you there in approximately eight minutes! Why, I can hear the crowd now. I believe they--you?--are chanting, again and again: "SPEED PORK! SPEED PORK! SPEED PORK!"

As a certain scientist would attest, I'm never one to keep my fans begging.
  





User avatar
86 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 9322
Reviews: 86
Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:48 am
View Likes
Sheyren says...



An issue has arisen here at the radio station. The pigs which we have offered at our BBQ are flying at mach two. Now, I'm not sure about you, but I personally am unable to catch adult pigs flying straight out of a transdimenional portal travelling at mach two. This might be partially due to me not having played catch for many years, not since the spirit of my late Godfather visited me during the summers of... What was it? Strange, I can't remember the dates. If feels like, perhaps, they never happened...

Anyhow, there is a massive crowd outside demanding supersonic pigs, and we here are unable to provide said pigs.
Curiousity killed the cat, but answers would have harmed him more.
  





User avatar
43 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1033
Reviews: 43
Fri Apr 21, 2017 2:11 pm
View Likes
Feltrix says...



Yet another weather break! We seem to be having a lot of those.

Weather is nice here. Every day is a sunny day in Night Vale. We all like sunny days. I like sunny days. Let's have fun in the sun! Let's have a sun celebration! Anyway. Letting yourself get sunburned is bad. Letting yourself think too much about this message is also bad. Don't think about this message too much. I don't like to think about it. Everyone should stop trying to read between the lines, or trying to read the beginning of the sentences, actually.

This concludes the weather break. Have a lovely day.
“Hello. I’m the Doctor. Basically….run.” -11th Doctor
  





User avatar
43 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1033
Reviews: 43
Sun Apr 23, 2017 10:11 pm
View Likes
Feltrix says...



There seems to have been a scheduling error. We have been informed that the weather break actually discussed weather. As you know, dear listeners, that makes no sense whatsoever. We apologize for this error.

We have received a letter! A letter from one of you, my dear listeners. This person (his name is Jacob von Gratten III) has requested that I read it aloud to you. The message is as follows: "Ahem, To anyone who sees this, if you're reading this, it's too late. The ... (some of the message has been blotted out by a large, reddish stain) have caught me. They've been keeping me he at ... for ... They're coming for me. I can hear their slithering approach. They're opening the door. Oh, no they're awful! This one's holding a AHHHGHHHGHGGGHHHHRRRAAAAAHHHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHHHHHHHGGGGGAAAAAAARRRR OH, THE PAIN AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" At this point, the message becomes illegible. There's too much red on it. This letter was sent from Aunt Clarice's house, in case anyone would like to respond to Jacob von Gratten III. Ah, how nice to receive fan mail!
“Hello. I’m the Doctor. Basically….run.” -11th Doctor
  





User avatar
43 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1033
Reviews: 43
Wed Apr 26, 2017 2:48 am
Feltrix says...



Dear listeners, I have just been informed by the city council that the ground is fictional. Even though the ground seems real, they assured me that it was not. I saw no need to question their judgement, because why would I? The city council are wise and benevolent leaders. Also, when my secretary, Clare, questioned the fictionality of the ground, she disappeared in a puff of greenish smoke that smelled slightly of the crushing, inky blackness one smells in the depths of the ocean. She was replaced by a neon orange bluejay with green antennae in the place of eyes. The antennae of this bluejay emit pinkish sparks at random intervals. So, yes, ladies and gentlemen, the ground is fictional. The city council realized this when they got complaints from citizens who had plummeted through it and emitted the customary scream signifying that one is falling into the void. All citizens have been asked to avoid the ground until the city council can convert the ground into non-fiction ground. This shouldn't cause many problems for me, dear listeners, as I haven't left this radio station in several decades. However, if you have an uncontrollable desire to step on the ground, just remember what happened to Clare.
“Hello. I’m the Doctor. Basically….run.” -11th Doctor
  





User avatar
28 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 798
Reviews: 28
Thu Apr 27, 2017 6:50 am
View Likes
AdventurerDaniel says...



Hello dear listeners, former mayor, Pamela Winchell, and current director of emergency press conference, also Pamela Winchell. Has called an emergency press conference on the matter of pigs. She would like to remind all citizens that pigs actually qualify as both a wheat and wheat byproduct. Especially pigs coming through portals at speeds judged by non-scientist radio host to be roughly Mach 2. She would like to also remind you that while oddly enough the pig in it's entirety is both somehow a wheat and wheat byproduct that pork products in and off themselves are not wheat or wheat byproducts. Ms.Winchell would like to remind us of this as all wheat and wheat byproducts are still illegal.
Especially as no one can be sure if said products will turn in to snakes or deadly ghost.

Pamela Winchell, director of emergency press conferences, would also like to remind a certain radio host that it is pizza day, and it is mandatory. Regardless of said radio host attempting to mourn a much loved intern with a barbecue for which we have the most basic of supplies. Don't forget to stop by Big Rico's as the slogan goes 'no one does a slice like Big Rico, no one.' While I preferred Panuci's before it's unfortunate burning, oddly coinciding within in weeks of the opening of Big Rico's. I admit I have a fondness for our last surviving and therefore best pizzeria in Night Vale. But, enough serious business now onto our children's fun fact science corner.
So much depends
upon
a red wheel
barrow
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens.
Red Wheel Barrow by- William Carlos Williams
  








Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.
— Helen Keller